Woke up, put on clothes, didn't go to work.

I know I've gotten so off-schedule I haven't been writing it. Anyway...

I got a small marigold-colored envelope from Newsweek saying "LAST CHANCE" in red in the cellophane window. I thought to myself, "I know I would have renewed that." I looked at my copy of Newsweek to see how soon it expires. The date for it to expire is October...2006!!! So I opened the envelope. It says, "LAST CHANCE...YOU MUST ACT NOW TO USE YOUR SPECIAL 2-FOR-1 OFFER."

Newsweek, kiss my grits. Better yet, ---- you. Don't send me threatening crap. Can you imagine if I didn't know to look on the address label of my magazine to see how much time is left? It's not as if you tell me anywhere when you send me these crappy offers. If I was a naieve old lady I would have renewed and probably had a subscription until 2015. I like your magazine, but give me a break.

Anyway, the offer says I have until Dec. 15, so that's like another month.

Wait...I just looked at it again, and I can get a year PLUS a bonus gift of a year to a friend for $41.08 total. That is a pretty good offer, actually.