What's a spouse for?

From the internet:

Scathing Amazon Reviewer Revealed as Author's Wife

LONDON (April 19) -- The normally sedate world of British academia erupted in scandal last weekend, as the wife of a top historian admitted attacking her husband's literary rivals in anonymously posted reviews on Amazon.co.uk.

And she's not the only faker: A nonfiction author has told AOL News that many writers -- including himself -- view bogus Web reviews as an "essential part of survival in the Amazon jungle."

Kudos...

To Giuliana and Bill for talking about something that people in Hollywood try to deny...

Copycats!

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (a Michael Cera movie coming this summer).

Can it hold a candle to

Carrie Pilby vs. The World? (The British version of my book.)

Go to www.carenlissner.com and decide!

Why?

I just read this headline:

Amid Riots, Protesters Claim to Control Kyrgyzstan

...and wondered why Duke's basketball coach is of such interest to the demonstrators.

The laugh is on me, I guess...

Because now one of those songs from below has been in my head all day.

I guess I deserved that.

Annoyed again at the music industry

I'm annoyed again.

In the past, musicians waited 10 or so years to rip off a song. Now they just wait a year or two!

Love Song by Sara Bareilles (2007):

Seems ripped off by:

Just Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble (2010):

and

Gives You Hell by All American Rejects (2009):

Seems ripped off by,

Hey Soul Sister by Train (wait a few beats)

Click and listen!

10 great minor league ballparks

Some of these really sound neat! The article was in USA Today. (Hubby sent it to me.) They're real fields of dreams. Click here to read.

Poll

Does anyone have a right to call the brilliant cinematic masterpiece Sound of Music 'silly'?**

**You are not allowed to vote in this poll if you have a penis. Thank you kindly for your attention to this matter. Anyone with breasts and a vajayjay - in other words, people with superior taste and wit - can answer.

Yuuuuuum

Look what someone in my household got from Coldstone...SEVEN toppings.

Despite my being preggers, it's not mine.

The Carrie Pilby PR effort is in full force!

Three months until it comes out again. Catch the new cover on Amazon by clicking the image of the cover on my updated website.

If you've ever loved a dog...

Check this out.

Congratulations, Newark!!

"Newark has something to celebrate. The city today is recording its first homicide-free month in more than 40 years.

"In New Jersey's largest city, officials say 32 days without a murder is a major accomplishment. Since the 1967 riots, the city has been plagued by one of the highest violent crime rates in the country."

T-shirt of the week

Here.

Hubby dessert announcement

"I'm going to go have my sleeve of Thin Mints."

Awww, go jump in the Pacific

Someone found my blog via Google by typing in the following:

Dogs are filthy they get ticks and fleas they drag their ass

7:55 PM UPDATE:

"How else are they supposed to scratch their ass?" - THE HUBBY

R.I.P., Agent Bill Maxwell

Oh no! Robert Culp died! I'm not old enough to have watched much of "I Spy," but I looooooooooved him in "The Greatest American Hero." It was the funniest show -- about a clueless special-ed teacher (William Katt) who suddenly ran into some aliens and was given a supersuit, but lost the instruction manual. A member of the most stepped-on element of society suddenly had powers, but didn't know how to use them. He would frequently try to fly and would bump into walls.

Then he met FBI agent Bill Maxwell, who was torn between wanting to disbelieve in the super suit...and getting another bust to increase his reputation. Culp played the constantly-hesitating agent with perfect comedic pitch. He nearly spat out every line, grimacing in skepticism.

I'm sorry I never got to meet him when he came around to local comic conventions (she says nerdily.) RIP.

For those who have to pay for it.

Not sure what happened to the skywriter...

Happy spring!

We made it through another winter!

Rain

It's raining out while being completely sunny. People have their umbrellas out. It's kinda beautiful.

Young-adult literature...in yesterday's LA TIMES

Big story about how young-adult literature is popular among adults, and still exploding as a genre, particularly books about "Misfit teens."

Well here, adults, take the re-release of Carrie Pilby to the beach this summer!

Is it too early

...for spring fever?

Awwww

ME: Do you want a LifeSaver?

HUBBY: I have you!

Snowstorm!

"When it absolutely, positively...uh...forget it."

"Honey, I found your bike!"

"What? I didn't hear anything about the buses not running!"

Round up the usual suspects. Medium sized breeds only.

Hmmm

Hubby was on the phone with one of those automated things that asks you questions before giving you to a representative. So he was yelling things into the phone like "SAVINGS." "MARCH FIRST." And then all of a sudden he yelled, "GET LAID, YA C---SUCKER!!!" and hung up.

He said it was because the system asked him, "What would you like to do next?"

This has been blogged with his permission.

On porpoise

ME: At the hotel, you can see dolphins swimming from your balcony.

HUBBY: You can see dolphins swimming?

ME: Yeah.

HUBBY: They're called porpoises, by the way.

ME: Maybe we can sit on the balcony and eat tuna and watch the porpoises.

HUBBY: HAHAHAHAHA

ME: What's worse, that I said that or that you're laughing at it?

HUBBY: I think they're both pretty bad.

Kevin Smith responds to the hubbub

From his blog, silentbobspeaks.com:

Lots of folks still telling me to stop crying and lose weight - as if that’s what this was all about. Easier to tell the lie about the whiney Fatso than the truth that someone at Southwest fucked up. “Sure, someone fucked up, Lardo” You’re saying. “You and your fat gut! This is YOUR fault because you’re fat!”

Once again: I know I’m fat. The point of all this? I’m not too fat for Southwest Air, yet someone deemed me so. *sigh*

Mom

My mom called to tell me it's gotten really slippery out. She wants me to call her when I get home to let her know I'm ok.

Awwww. I love moms.

Been a while since I've gotten one of these

Thank you for giving us the chance to consider “Curtains Up” for publication in
The Missouri Review. Though it does not fit our current needs, we appreciate
your interest in our magazine and your commitment to quality writing.
We wish you the best of luck publishing your work and hope you’ll consider
sending us more in the future.
Sincerely,
The Editors

"No, I don't."

Snow

It's gonna snow on Wednesday. A lot.

Finally updated the Blog of my Barometer. It was so neglected.

Wheee, my ship may have come in!

I got this in the mail today:

Seventeen television networks and studios and seven talent agencies have agreed, subject to court approval, to settle age discrimination allegations in connection with the hiring and representation of television writers age 40 or over...for a collective payment of $70,000,000. The settlement defines two classes -- persons age 40 or over who have previously written for television, and other persons age 40 or over who have been interested in writing for television.

Okay, so I'm not 40 or over, and I was a lot younger back when I sent in a few spec scripts...but isn't it funny that even people who wanted to write for TV may be included in the settlement?

The 24 networks, studios, and agencies "deny that they discriminate, but believe it makes sense to end the litigation, which has been pending since 2000. The court did not decide which side was right."

Hey, I want some money just 'cause I didn't have any contacts in TV or film when I got out of school. Why should the privileged get those jobs? Darn it, give me my two dollars!

J.D. Salinger

I'm late in posting about him. Since he's one of my favorite authors, I should post about his death. Really, I have little to say that hasn't been said. I love the way he writes, and of course, his characters. It's a very unique style that can't be imitated, but can be learned from. The sense of detail and non-rushed-ness of the descriptions of goings-on, especially.

I won't comment much on his personal life, but some of it defies explanation. The success of his books, and the fact that he made so much money off of them, is what allowed him to live the way he wanted, and yet he would likely begrudge other writers for publicizing their works in order to even have any hope of selling enough of them to make a few bucks.

He lived to a ripe old age, and of course I would love to read any of his works that he's been hiding all these years. People who knew him have estimated that he had between 2 and 17 manuscripts locked away. More recently, someone said he was merely writing about health issues (he was into all kinds of homeopathic remedies), so maybe it's nothing exciting to read. But the fact that he was reclusive for that long would indicate that he must have been writing SOME fiction. What else could he have been possibly doing with all that free time in his secluded house? Eat, walk the dog, read the papers, read books, watch old movies...he had to have done some Salinger-type writing.

"You didn't post anything today on your blog." -- The Hubby

And...now I have.

New version of Carrie Pilby on Amazon

Well, sort of. I'm sure the new cover will go up soon.

Amazon on YA

Amazon on young adult fiction, which really exploded over the past decade.

The first Carrie Pilby-related Tweet


Thanks to literary agent Janet Reid for Tweeting about my book! It's still set to be re-released in July. I guess I really should update my website fast.


Regarding the Tweet under the one about Carrie Pilby...is there really a cupcake truck? And why would that not surprise me? Do Rachel and Nichelle know about this?!


HOLY CRAP, I just clicked on Rachel and Nichelle's cupcake blog and oh my God look at the key lime cupcake featured on it.

Janet_Reid I didn't know CARRIE PILBY was being re-released! That's GREAT news! I loved that book!7:23 AM Jan 9th from web Janet_Reid It's too bad @susan_adriani doesn't like sushi. I guess we have to lunch at the cupcake truck.#poorpoorpitifulme6:21 PM Jan 8th from web

Hello

I kinda felt like I should post something. It's disappointing when you check a blog and nothing is posted.

So there.

Window of Maine hotel at sunset.

Dear Old Dad

DAD: How old are you going to be on your birthday? 39 or 40?
ME: (sigh) 39.
DAD: So you have a good 25 years left.
ME: Is that when life goes downhill? At 64?
DAD: Well, you look at people who are 10 years older than you, and things don't look that great.

Not just cute puppies

Sometimes you have to appreciate a little kitty now and then, too. So click here.

Combonym

Musician, punster, and friend Michael Lynch writes:

"EXmas"...to take down Christmas decorations.

Recent photos have been sitting on my camera

The next street, after recent snow.

Fire station up the road.

Our first pizzas that Hubby and I made on New Year's Eve. Well, they tasted good! Toppings: Shredded mutz, along with fresh shrooms, onions, and peppers. Hubby is a great veggie picker and chopper. (Thanks, Bridget, for the set of knives.) I didn't roll the dough enough, so mine was like a Chicago pizza. I like Chicago pizza so I was not saddened by the matter.

I kept craving it after we were done, so four days later I made this ricotta and sundried tomato pie. Already the practice came in handy! (It was actually less tasty than the other one though.)

New graffiti added this weekend. Bunch of savages in this town! Notice the Xmas tree in a bag tossed out at the right.

Happy New Year!

I hope 2010 is the best one yet.

A cautionary tale for those of you traveling in wintry weather

"A Reno, Nevada couple got stranded in wintry conditions for three days in the high desert of Eastern Oregon when their SUV's GPS gave them misguided directions and took them down a wrong path. Ask me and I'll tell you that the only wrong path they took was trusting their GPS.
The Klamath County Sheriff, Tim Evinger, clearly a kinder soul than I, was quoted saying "GPS almost did 'em in and GPS saved 'em." Evinger said. "It will give you options to pick the shortest route. You certainly get the shortest route. But it may not be a safe route." After almost three days, they miraculously recovered a weak cellphone signal on a GPS-enabled phone which sent its coordinates to 911.
Actually what saved them was the fact that the couple, both in their mid-to-late 60s, were prepared for winter travel, carrying food, water and warm clothes. Their four-wheel drive Toyota Sequoia was pulled out of the snow with a winch after they were found by a Lake County deputy in the Winema-Fremont National Forest, outside the town of Silver Lake.
John Rhoads, 65, and his wife, Starry Bush-Rhoads, 67, made it home safely to Reno, Nev., Evinger said. "Their statement was, being prepared saved their life," he said."

Awwww, rats!

"(Dec. 28) -- Ready or not, here comes the future of reading. Amazon announced today that it sold more e-books this Christmas than it did the paper variety, a first in its history."

Okay, but...how do you wrap an e-book and give it to a friend?!

Well, so be it. Remember to, uh, download the re-release of Carrie Pilby this coming July!

Oh. My. God.

Someone from elementary school said hello to me on Facebook, I joined a group for my elementary school, and lo and behold there is a 2nd grade class photo that has me in it - and I'm even labeled! The person remembered my name! I loved 2nd grade. I almost cried when I saw this. I remember almost everyone. We spent half the year putting on "Pinocchio" and I was figaro, the cat. I'm on the right below the teacher, standing in red pants. Wow, what memories!

My e-mail to Accuweather today

Hi guys. I commented about this last week too. You have something called Weather Alarms which is pretty cool, but then when I look below at your 5-day forecast, it often contradicts your very own Weather Alarms! For instance, you say Heavy Rain Dec. 25 and 26 for your weather alarms. But in the forecast it says "scattered showers" or "chance of rain" or "partly sunny" for those days. Are your Weather Alarms meant to be hype, or are your 5-day forecasts purposely meeker? I think you should save the Alarms for something more than 'scattered showers' or be more consistent so we know to trust them. Example here.

3 quick things

1. TMZ is reporting that actress Brittany Murphy died!!! She was only 32. That's an unexpected one. It's not like she's in the news all the time doing dangerous stuff like Lindsay Lohan.

2. Michael Lynch sent this combonym:

Carcheology...the act of digging out your car after a snowstorm.

3. Today I learned that making French toast with egg whites and wheat bread may be heart-healthy, but not very tasty. (Surprise!)

PS Hi cutie!

I feel cold just looking at...

THIS.

My favorite months, in order

1. October

2. September

3. August

4. November

5. December

6. July

7. June

8. May

9. January

10. April

11. February

12. March

February and March are the two most boring months ever. The weather is lousy without a holiday coming to justify it. I love the change of the seasons, whatever season it's changing to. But when it's the end of a slushy dull season, that's the worst, and that's why I don't look forward to February or March.

Things at least start to perk up in April, but not much. It rains every weekend. People start complaining about the rain, forgetting that it does that every year.

But right now we're in December, with the gently blinking lights and it's cold without being too too too cold. So rejoice!

Hmmm

I hope the kid is ok, but she is going to have to be in the hospital for months, fighting. I think TLC is putting a real spin on this one.

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (Dec. 11) -- An Arkansas couple featured on the reality TV show "18 Kids and Counting" now has 19.
Cable network TLC says 43-year-old Michelle Duggar gave birth to a 1-pound, 6-ounce daughter Thursday night during an emergency cesarean section. She'd been due March 18.
TLC says the child is in stable condition at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences in Little Rock.
The network airs the show starring Duggar, her 44-year-old husband and their brood. It says the Duggars named their 19th child and ninth daughter Josie Brooklyn. The Duggars' first grandchild was born Oct. 8.

Efficient hubby

My hubby has an idea for what he'd like to name a dog someday. He said today that he'd like to get two dogs and name them BOTH that name.

ME: Well, what happens when you call the name?

HIM: They both come!

Boy, is that efficient.

He did it

Somehow I came upon this blog entry of mine about a 2006 news report about a couple who were driving along a dark road, and somehow both the husband and wife got shot. The husband survived, however. Having heard of cases like this before, it seemed to me that the husband shot her and then injured himself to make it look like an accident.

Here's my blog entry about it.

Well, put their names into Google and you can see the result.

MEN: Something simple to improve your heart health

A public service message from Ned Vizzini about flossing.

Do you think

Do you think the first 30 or 40 years of your life are intended to set a foundation for you to enjoy the second half of your life?
In other words, did you spend all of those years working, dating, and undertaking projects in order to make sure you can enjoy (or at least be stable in) your later years? Or did you simply live in the moment and enjoy it and not think about the future?
I would guess that most people do a little of both.
Well, not when you're a kid. When you're a kid, aside from doing well in school, you're kind of off the hook regarding responsibilities for the future. The people you date at 15, if anyone, are very unlikely to be those you marry. You don't start a career then, either.
So maybe 20s and 30s are the main time to prepare for the rest of your life - starting a retirement fund (although who wants to think about being an old codger), looking for someone for a long-term relationship or marriage, getting involved in different things.
I guess you never really stop preparing, though. Even if you retire, there could still be 40 or more years of life ahead of you. Then a lot of your concerns probably become medical - what can I or can't I eat today, which doctor should I see.
I'm generalizing. I don't actually know the purpose of this entry. I was just kind of randomly thinking about the things you do in life to prepare for the future, and the things you do just for the sake of it.
Childhood was fun because of things done just for the sake of them. It's nice, I guess, when you can still fit those in to your adulthood, but sometimes you can find fun ways to prepare for the future too.
Well, the "Jersey Shore" reality show starts in a few hours. We're planning to watch it, and it will add nothing lasting to our lives!

Quote of the day

"Why would I want a Kindle? I would turn it INTO kindle!" - The Hubby

Nothing spells loving like marrying your cousin.

Sure to be a big hit - article in the Sunday Times about cousins who marry.

Your racist friend

So the Hubby and I were sitting at a basketball game. It was U Conn vs. Duke. There were some loud U. Conn fans near my husband (luckily, because he is a U. Conn fan) and some REALLY LOUD Duke fans next to me. One of them kept yelling pro-Duke things practically in my ear.

At one point, one of the Duke fans was talking about a U. Conn player and said, "Where is he from? Nigeria?"

So one of the U. Conn guys yelled to the Duke guy, "He's from New Hampshire. Way to be racist."

Uh oh, I thought.

The Duke guy yelled back, "Don't be so thin-skinned."

The U. Conn guy responded, "You see one black guy on the team and you say he's from Africa."

Eek!

Anyway, Hubby just looked it up on the internet, and the guy really IS from Nigeria!

Response from Blogfan Sam

"Possible plot- Zombies have control of all the new socks in the world, and Carrie must attend a Zombie Harvard party in hopes of getting a pair.
Sorry, couldn't help myself."

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to any of the six of you who are still reading this. Seriously, I am honored to know you and be read by you. Please feel free to email me some time and let me know what is going on with your life. Have a wonderful holiday!!

Steampunk. Do you feel lucky?

From Publisher's Lunch, the daily digest of books that are sold to publishers:

Children's/Young Adult

Lia Habel's DEARLY, DEPARTED, a maximalist, post-apocalyptic, neo-Victorian steampunk zombie novel in which a girl, whose blood is impervious to the "Z-virus," searches for her missing dad, is kidnapped by (good) zombies, falls improbably in love with a rather sweet zombie boy, and sets out to save the world from a zombie plague beyond imagining, to Chris Schluep at Ballantine, in a two-book deal, by Chris Lotts at Ralph M. Vicinanza.

And you may ask yourself: What the heck is STEAMPUNK!?!?!?

Well, it's a genre of young-adult literature that is historical, except, with futuristic inventions.

I suppose this came out of the love of Jane Austen-type romantic settings, combining them with the desire for vampire/zombie-supernatural type stuff.

No, I do not plan to write these or have any interest in them. I guess that makes me out of touch, though.

I am just surprised that something so odd has its own genre, but I guess you never know what will strike an audience!

So now you've learned something today.

By the way, did you notice that they mentioned the word "zombie" four times in one paragraph?

I should change my novel name to Carrie Pilby with Zombies.

My take on the issues

"The high-level United States Preventative Services Task Force of scientists and researchers Monday recommended that breast cancer screening in women should now start at the age of 50 as opposed to 40.

"And it further said that women between the ages of 50 to 74 should be screened every two years instead of annually."

Yeah, definitely. Catching cancer earlier means more stress. If you've got cancer, do you really want to know? NO! Stress is bad for you.

It is better to wait so you are further along and won't have to be faced with all those pesky choices of treatment.

(*Note to sensitive types: Heavy sarcasm was at work)

Good idea, Task Force!

The High Line, NYC

I found my fudge! And it has a name: Caramoo

www.caramoo.com

I wrote to the company yesterday:

The caramel crumble is exactly what I've been looking for for YEARS!!! I wrote a blog entry a while ago about this kinda crumbly fudge candy I used to get in the bulk candy section of CVS in the '80s that I adored.

I even sent them this letter months ago, but they said they didn't know the answer:

Years ago, in the early 1980s, CVS used to sell bulk candy that you'd scoop out of different containers. There was a really great vanilla fudge candy, individually wrapped, that had a picture of a cow on it. I loved it and it was delicious!!! At some point you stopped selling it, and then later you stopped selling bulk candy altogether (at least, as far as I can tell here in NJ). Can you tell me what company used to make those individually wrapped vanilla fudge candies you sold, or what they were called? Thanks! [email address]

I found out about Caramoo by looking around the web, and I saw a review on Amazon describing it. SO I ordered a few flavors. Caramel crumble is the one I've been searching for!

I'm going to tell all my friends and write about it on my blog, www.addledwriter.com. So thank you again for making such great candy...and for being so kind!

Caren ------

Caramoo fan

The hard part of a song

There's the age-old question of why writers of Hollywood scripts don't get more credit, or at least nearly as much as the director. What is a movie but its story?

Here's another one. When two people write a song, often one writes the music and the other writes the lyrics.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it is way harder to come up with original music than it is to come up with lyrics. There are, of course, exceptions: There are brilliantly written songs, brilliant lines in songs, brilliant poetry, and some fantastic Broadway lyrics that I marvel at.

But like, to come up with music that is original and catchy, and doesn't sound like anyone else? That is the height of talent.

People like songs for the melody, not for the lyrics (usually). If you have great lyrics with a song that isn't pleasing to listen to, your song will go nowhere.

Example: Here's the Black Eyed Peas song that's popular now. It's completely a dance song and a bar mitzvah song for 13-year-olds. But it's on the radio ALL the time and quite popular.

It is NOT popular for its lyrics, which are:

I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good good night

Tonight’s the night night
Let’s live it up
I got my money
Let’s spend it up
Go out and smash it
Like Oh My God
Jump off that sofa
Let’s get get off

I know that we’ll have a ball
If we get down
And go out
And just loose it all
I feel stressed out
I wanna let it go
Lets go way out spaced out
And losing all control

Fill up my cup
Mazel tov
Look at her dancing
Just take it off
Lets paint the town
We’ll shut it down
Let’s burn the roof
And then we’ll do it again

Lets Do it (x5)
And live it up
Lets Do it (x5)
I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good night
That tonight’s gonna be a good good night
A feeling
That tonight’s gonna be a good night (x2)
That tonight’s gonna be a good good night

Oh God, this song gives me a headache.* But I can see that it can make people get up and bounce around. It's sure not because of the lyrics!

And really, if they took the time, they could have come up with better lyrics. Anyone can come up with good lyrics if they've got a good tune. That's the easy part.

I don't think their intent was to write Shakespeare here; it's to make people dance. And to make people request the song at clubs. It's not "Where is the Love?" (Closer to Let's Get Re...I mean, Let's Get It Started.)

They have succeeded in their intent, and they've done their job. My only point is that it's the song that is the real work - not the words...with a few exceptions.

*(Note to hubby: No, you don't have to turn it off when it comes on in the car. I'll live!!)

More crap from my camera

Saw this in the Urban Dictionary today

Piglet Flu

During times of pandemic, the common flu is known as Piglet Flu. While less deadly than Swine Flu, it still makes you feel like shit. However, because it is not infamous like swine flu, you get no respect from having it. So you feel like crap and no one gives a damn because you don't have h1n1.
Doctor: How do you feel.
Patient: Like shit.
Doctor: Well the tests came back, you don't have swine flu. So get the hell out you lazy good for nothing bastard. Come back with a real illness.

Protesting too much??

ME: (reading headlines on the internet): "Woman finds frog in bag of salad."

HUBBY: I had nothing to do with it.

Random recent stuff

Lower East Side, NY

In the bathroom of a pretty cool restaurant called Public

Recent storm

Pumpkin French toast at Turning Point, a restaurant chain in NJ that specializes in breakfast and lunch items. It is GREAT. Check it out on the internet, then come visit us and we'll go.

Halloween night in my town.