Today I joined various relatives for a tour of their homeland, Newark, NJ. I enjoyed seeing their old stickball haunts.

This is unrelated to Newark, but here is a convo we had in the car:

MY DAD (to me): Do you have a cell phone?
ME: No. Stop asking me that.
MY UNCLE: I tell ya. I was on the road the other day and I got a flat. If I didn't have a cell phone, I would have been in trouble.
ME: I don't have a car.

Conversation #2:

MY DAD (TO ME): Do you buy tomatoes?
ME: Huh?
MY DAD: Do you buy tomatoes, ever?
ME: Yeah.
MY DAD: Do you put them in the refrigerator?
ME: Yeah.
MY DAD: They lose their nutrients. I heard it on the radio. Now I don't put them in there.
ME: Oh. (Pause.) Do you turn down your thermostat before you go to work?
MY DAD: I hadn't been doing that, but I did it the other day.
YOUNG HALF-SISTER (Age 11): Since we're all sharing tips...if you're peeling an onion, and you don't want to cry, chew gum. (Pause) Uncle ___, do you have a tip?
UNCLE: On what?
HALF-SISTER: We're sharing food tips. Except for Caren's air conditioning tip.
UNCLE: Oh. I forgot to stop and see Martha Stewart on the way here.