Groups

Did your high school actually have those standard groups like nerds, jocks, etc.? While my school had some clear-cut jocks, those terms weren't really used much. But there was one group that was referred to a lot: "Burnouts" or "dirtbags" (I think the terms were interchangeable).

A burnout or dirtbag was first and foremost characterized by long hair. He was usually a long-haired smoker, often into heavy metal. They were just seen as kids who really didn't care much. I'm not sure how those terms got started, although my school drew from a wide array of socioeconomic groups (there were new developments as well as very old apartment complexes in my town), so I guess it stemmed from richer kids looking at kids from the other side of the tracks, so to speak.

As far as nerds went, I think I was the only female nerd in my class. Oh sure, there were smart girls and honors girls, but most of them were fairly well adjusted and even rather social, whereas I was not. I didn't know how to be, so I gave up and just focused on studying. It's not a good thing. There were definitely male nerds in my class. They were all very into computers. But no one used the term much.

Anyway, so this one day, I was after school for some reason (maybe a meeting for some club). The meeting ended early and I was walking the halls, waiting for the late bus to arrive and take me home. I passed the lunchroom and wandered into the hallway with all the artsy rooms - shop, art, and the band room.

From hall outside the band room, I heard a beautiful melody. Then I recognized it. It was the opening piano chords of "Locomotive Breath" by Jethro Tull. You may think you don't know them, but you've heard them, trust me. It was at a time when my musical tastes were being broadened. I had finally shifted from Z-100 and repetitive top 40 stations and was amazed by the breadth of classic rock on the radio. Jethro Tull was one of the groups that had a lot of songs I liked. (No, it's not heavy metal, as my college roomie thought. The lead singer plays a flute.) Anyway, I peeked in the band room. Playing the piano was a "burnout" or "dirtbag," complete with thick long hair and a heavy metal shirt. Playing this beautiful song.

Now, it would be very Breakfast Club-esque if I walked into the bandroom, told him I loved that group, and this female nerd forged a secret friendship with the kid. It would have made a great story, maybe an after-school special. And in a socially-adjusted world, maybe I would have at least told him he sounded great.

But I was me and that was then, and I was too shy and scared. So, I walked on.

Update

Blogfan Sam from Hawaii writes:

Jethro Tull was indeed "heavy metal" according to the Grammys. Tull beat out Metallica for the first "heavy metal " Grammy back in 198? (whenever). So I guess officially, Tull was "heavy metal".
I think my small town high school was unique. We called our social outcast smokers "Goolies". I have no idea why.
Then S.E. Hinton's book The Outsiders inspired the goolies and started calling the others "socs".
I never fit either group either.

My response: Maybe it was ghoul-ies?

I don't really see Tull as very heavy, but I guess if you have to fit it into a category within rock, it might fit. Hmmm, what qualifies a group as heavy metal? An extra guitar?

By the way, I know the above story didn't really go anywhere. But it's those kinds of things from which fiction is born. It could be the start of a pretty cool teen novel, but I think that type of thing has been done plenty of times.

Bridge & cupcakes

Today we walked over the Brooklyn Bridge and saw the waterfall installation. 

On the way back, we bought some cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery, made famous by Sex And the City.

Awful

By now you may have read about the horrific incident on a Greyhound bus in Canada. I feel really bad for the 19-year-old that was just sleeping there and randomly lost his life to a psycho.

I don't want to stereotype, but some weird stuff happens on those buses. I should say I've also had some very uneventful Greyhound rides, and I do like riding on their buses. But there aren't metal detectors or anything to prevent weapons (I'm sure that will change now). I guess it's been good that lines to get on the bus move fast, but I think those days are over.

Airplanes require a lot more mental competence. You have to somehow get to the airport, which is usually located in a far-out place, then get there early, then check your bags, show ID, and go through the metal detectors.

Anyone can get on a bus, and oh, they do. The buses have been stopped in the middle of trips because someone smokes in the bathroom, and they wait for a state trooper to show up and remove the person. Or some worse nonsense happens.

I would guess that on most of the rides, nothing happens. In fact, I traveled to Maine and back on Greyhound twice in 1999, 12 hours each way, and it was fine. I also went to Boston several times on their buses for only $40 round trip, and had no problem. I'm glad the buses exist as a way to travel cheaply.

But there are probably going to be greater security checks now.

And everyone will want to sit near the front, so maybe it'll be less likely that someone will attack them. Although of course it won't always help.

Do you want to bet that Google will put Greyhound ads above today's entry? Well, I don't have any beef with the company, I'm just saying that riding the bus will probably take more time now, but hopefully be safer. Maybe it will keep people from transporting guns, knives, etc.

Update: A close member of my family reports that they actually do metal detector tests of people going on long-distance trips, with the wand...but they don't do everyone. And sometimes they stop when the bus arrives. Also, this happened in Canada, so not really sure if the procedure is the same there.

Update II: From a news report:

Greyhound bus passengers in the United States are subject to random security checks, but there's no such system in Canada, the company said yesterday.
"Due to the rural nature of our network, airport-type security is not practical," said Greyhound spokesman Abby Wambaugh.
But passengers horrified by the brutal stabbing and beheading aboard a bus travelling from Edmonton to Winnipeg say the company has to do something to prevent attacks.

Anyway...

The victim has been identified as Tim McLean, 22. Now he doesn't get to live the rest of his life. It's sad when anyone young dies. He really didn't deserve that.

Jeopardy gets salacious

Sarah has a link to this great video.

EQ

I love this video of a TV judge hiding under her desk while they were filming during the earthquake.

By the way, Joderama reported to me that she is safe.  ;)

The hills are alive

Stay at the Von Trapp House in Austria!

Northern Lights

Scientists have finally figured out what makes the Northern Lights light.  Check out this beautiful photo with the article.

Big Blue

I just took these photos of Eli Manning strolling on our block an hour ago, presumably with his wife.  (Here they are in a celeb photo, for comparison.)  Not sure if it's her, but probably.

I would have taken more photos, but the Hubby stopped me from stalking them.  Hubby is more polite than I am.  I guess he's right.  Still, duty called!  I had to give my audience of 16-27 regular readers a celebrity sighting.

I should have invited the Mannings upstairs to discuss newlywed life and all.

Yum

Hubby took me here on Saturday night.  Those crabs were juicy!!

I loved the design of these jeans, but they didn't necessarily do anything for me.  So I took 'em back.  

And those are my random photos of the day.

Quaint

This British girl likes to post photos of herself in different outfits.  Apparently she used to do it every day, but was getting nasty comments so she deleted the whole thing.  Then she started again.  I dunno, it's kind of cute.

Tropical

There may be a tropical storm off-shore on Monday.  Here's the map.

Info for writers


I. Short story contest

Of the 16-27 remaining individuals who read this blog every day (these are the actual numbers), I'm not sure how many writers are left. But here is what looks like a pretty good short-story writing contest. If you've published a book, you can't enter, so I'm out. Otherwise I woulda entered. It's $20 per entry, but the prize is $1,500, and it's legitimate.

http://www.tennesseewilliams.net/article.php?story=fictioncontest

II. Reviewing the reviewers

The New York Observer takes a snarky tone and displays some of the "credentials" for Publishers' Weekly reviewers. At one point, they look at someone's internet profile, where it says he's a professional procrastinator. (Hey, it's a joke!) The PW review is often the first one a book gets, and is quite influential. Mine is up on Amazon where my book is available (or used to be available) for purchase.

III. Revising

I did send the first chapter of a novel to a grant competition that ended this week. Even though I only had to submit 15 pages, I kept revising and revising. At one point, I realized that the chapter had a better tone in an earlier version, and I found the earlier version realized it was perfectly fine.

I have to stop revising beginnings of things so much. I want them to be perfect, but sometimes I get tired of them and add a bunch of new stuff I really don't need to add. And then I realize that it was fine months ago, before I tampered with it. Well, that's my lesson of the day.

Anyway, have a great weekend. TGIF!

Cute

I was outside before, and a woman about my age was walking her white pIt bull-like dog. All of a sudden, the woman tripped and fell. The dog leaned over and gave the woman's face a lick, then sat down next to her and started panting.

The woman got up and was fine, but I think it's cute that when she fell, her dog gave her a kiss.

Hmmm

I've been getting back-to-campus circulars the mail from stores, and I've also seen ads for back to school sales on TV. Summer only officially started less than a month ago. Can't we get a break?

That said, last night, it was cool and crisp, and as the sun was going down, shining a fading orangey light on the treetops, I got a glimpse of fall weather. And that was nice too.

But each season gets its due. There's plenty of summer left.

Obnoxious t-shirt of the week

Spotted this evening at a Brooklyn Cyclones game...a guy wearing a t-shirt with Mountain Dew colors and typeface, only it said,

"Mount and

Do Me."

Yecccchhhhhh...........

Update: Hubby has located the source of this fashion monstrosity.

Update II: I actually saw a different Spenser's shirt last week at the Vermont Lake Monsters game. It was this charming one, worn on a guy in his late teens or early twenties.

Stay classy.

Roommates I have had

Right after college, I moved to a town that was just across the river from the Big City.

I was hoping for a writing or publishing job.  Most of the people I knew from college were scattered around the country, and I was fairly lonely.  I didn’t have anyone to apartment-hunt with, but I couldn’t afford to rent my own place.

So I decided I would find a two-bedroom apartment myself, and then I’d find a suitable roommate through the local classifieds.  That way, I'd be picking the person.  I had enough money for the full deposit and the first month’s rent, so that was fine.

I found a great big two-bedroom apartment and put an ad in the local classifieds looking for a “young professional” female roommate in her twenties or thirties who was employed full-time and didn’t smoke.

In the years following that, I went through six or seven roommates, all of whom were -- like me -- moving near The Big City and needed a cheap place before they made enough money to actually live IN the City.

With the exception of one roommate, none of the others really became “friends” with me.  I guess that’s because I went out of my way to find roommates who wouldn’t be around all the time.   If a girl was going to spend most of her time at her boyfriend’s place and wouldn’t be in my place a lot, THAT was who I wanted as a roommate. Gave me more privacy.

The one roomie I became friends with was someone who coincidentally had graduated from Penn a year after me with an English degree, but I’d never met her while at Penn.  Coincidentally, she just happened to come see my room for rent.  She also knew some of the people I did.  I’m still friends with her today. (She occasionally reads this blog, so if you’re reading this, hi, A!)

Anyway, that’s it for lasting friendships with roomies. Trying to find one who’d become a friend didn’t seem that important, because there was really no way of telling, so all I wanted was someone responsible who wouldn’t stiff me on the rent.

Here are some of the memorable ones.

Roommate I, “Karen”

The first roomate I got was a girl named Karen who was my age, 22, and was in some ways even more innocent than I was.

Karen had gone to a small Catholic college in upstate NY.  She also had a job up there until she got transferred down to The City. Her college boyfriend still lived up there. They’d never had sex, but they had slept in the same bed. They were waiting for marriage to “do it.” She also had never gone to a gynecologist appointment, and was making one in our town for the first time, and she asked me for advice. She wanted to know if the checkup hurt a lot.

Wow – at least I had seen a gyno before. I was very innocent for 22, and I was always surprised to meet someone who was more innocent than I was.  It pleased me to know I wasn’t alone.

Anyway, she made the gyno appointment with the doctor I recommended down the street. But she came home and told me that after waiting for an hour in the gyno’s office, she had chickened out and left.

Eventually, one of Karen’s friends from Albany, Kate, moved down here. Kate’s college boyfriend, “Dave,” had recently told her that even though he wanted to marry her someday, he wanted to temporarily date a few other people before settling down. She was distraught.  She broke up with him and got a job transfer down to The City.  She needed to get away from the situation for a while, and from Dave.

Karen and Kate wanted to get an apartment together. They invited me to live with them. But I decided to stay in my own place. Once something is working, no sense giving it up.

They invited me to see their new place one time. It was further downtown and pretty nice -- cozy, with lots of throw pillows and rugs and soft lighting.   I hung out with them once or twice, but that was it. I don’t know where they are today.

Roommate II, “Jeanine”

“Jeanine” was also around my age.  She lived in Florida and moved up to this area because of a job transfer. She also had just broken up with her boyfriend in Florida, who, she said, had a slight drug problem, even though “Jeanine” was pretty straight-laced herself.

Jeanine had never lived up north before, nor had she spent any time here.   It snowed one time, and she looked outside our window at her car. She actually didn’t know how you were supposed to get the snow off. Waving her hands in the air frantically, she looked at me and said, “What do you do?!?” I had an ice scraper and I showed her how to use it.

The other thing I remember about Jeanine was that she told me a funny story about her first night in college. She said that her first night, her roommate hadn’t moved in yet, so she was alone in the room. She saw a huge roach in the room and then it ran somewhere. That night, she went to sleep alone on the top bunk. While she was sleeping, she had a dream that the roach was on top of her. She fell out of the bunk, onto the floor.  On the floor, she started crying and was like, “I wanna go hooooooome.”

Anyway, Jeanine didn't last long up here near The Big City.  After maybe three or four months up here, she decided she liked Florida better, and moved back.

Roommate III, “Melanie”

I actually wrote a whole essay about Melanie once. She is memorable because of the sheer number and variety of boyfriends she had while she lived here. There’s a reason for it, too, which I’ll explain later.

When she came to look at my apartment, she was just in town for a few days visiting from Colorado -- but in a month, she would be starting a new job in The Big City, so she needed to find a place. She’d seen a lot of places so far that hadn’t worked out. Mine was the last place she looked at, so she was very eager to get it squared away before heading back to Colorado.

She said she really liked me. She said I reminded her of her best friend back home in Colorado.  She also said she'd write me a check then and there if I accepted her as a roommate.

So I agreed to let her have the room, and she wrote me a check.  A month later, she moved in.

Melanie took the city by storm. She knew one girl here, Tiffany, a girl with a blond bob. Tiffany went out to bars in The Big City every single night.  Melanie went with her every night, even though Melanie kept telling me how tiring it was and how she really wanted to spend a night in

A few times, Melanie told me that on an upcoming weekend, she was going to stay inside for the whole weekend and lay low and finally get some rest.   Then…her phone would ring, it would be Tiffany, and she’d disappear. I think she was afraid of missing out on something. Or…someone.

A lot of guys liked Melanie.  She was attractive but not intimidatingly. She developed a pattern: She’d meet a guy, go on three dates with him, and on the third date, she wouldn’t come home that night.

But soon after, she’d break up with the guy for one reason or another, and move on to the next.

Melanie wasn’t a slut. She actually just wanted to find a serious boyfriend, so she looked around a lot. But she’d get scared if things got too serious too soon. On the third date, she’d sleep with them, and then usually, it didn’t last much longer than that.

One guy she dated, Patrick, was a tall blonde bartender. She decided he was too polite and serious for her. There was also “Sami,” a Mexican guy who didn’t speak any English. She didn’t speak any Spanish. But she told me they communicated by pantomiming.

There was a reason for all this dating. Back in Colorado, she’d dated one guy for all four years of college. They assumed they’d get married someday. Everyone told her that she had no way of knowing if he was “The One” if he was the only person in her life that she dated.

She decided that maybe all these people were right.  So she broke up with him.

A few months later, she realized she’d made a mistake. But by then, he was dating someone else. Eventually he got engaged to his new girlfriend.

So now, Melanie was alone. She and I were both 24 when we lived together, and she’d tell me how she would see guys in the street who were our age, and they’d be toting children around. She was worried that everyone else was passing her by.

Of course, 24 seems so young now, but I think that no matter what age you are, you always fear that you’re going to miss out on meeting the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with if you don’t hurry up.  Whatever age you are, you usually think it's the right time.  It always seems like everyone around you is coupling up. Heck, I felt that way in college.

I certainly felt that way at 24, even though I can look back and see how young that was, and how there were still plenty of single people in their late 20s and 30s. But it seemed at the time that everyone was finding someone.

Also keep in mind that in the early 1990s, when I graduated, no one had internet access, so most of our lives were still tied to the people we knew in college.  That was still our only social network, unless you still talked to people from high school.  School was the place where we’d gotten to know people deeply. Now we were forced to look for new friends, and people to date, in the big city.  But how to really get to know someone?

One day, I heard Melanie on the phone with one of her brothers. She was saying that the night before, she had had a dream about her college boyfriend. It was very realistic.  She said that it seemed as though he was right there next to her.  “I could see him; I could smell him,” she said.

After she got off the phone with her brother, she decided she’d call the guy up just to find out if he was still engaged.  She instead got ahold of his sister, who said that he was. The wedding was to be in October, just a few months from then.

“Well, just tell him that Melanie called to wish him luck,” she said. Then she hung up the phone and cried.

Was it too late for Melanie to find love? Had she given up her only chance?

Like many of my roommates, eventually Melanie moved to the Big City. She moved into an apartment with Tiffany, of course. A few years ago, I Googled her, and she is married some German guy and lives in Germany now.

Roommate IV, “Pam”

Pam was a stewardess. They are good roommates because every other day, they are gone for the day and night.  Sometimes they are gone for longer. Of course, there are also days in which they are home for 24 hours straight, but I was willing to deal with the tradeoff.

Pam was from Tennessee. There are two main things I remember about her. One is that her brother and father hunted, and one time she brought back venison and kept it in the freezer. She made a stew. I had some, and I just tasted like beef stew.

The other thing was that the movie “Eight Mile” came out, and she asked me if I wanted to go see it with her and her friends. I was surprised, because she was a tiny Southern girl and I didn’t think she’d be into Eminem, but she said she found him funny.

When we all went to the movie, she had to wear her Continental uniform because she had to go to work right after. Her friends kept teasing her about it. One guy asked her, “Hey, Pam, where are the exits?” She responded, “The nearest one may be right behind you.”

Eventually Continental laid a bunch of people off, including Pam. She went home to Tennessee. She had also been “talking to” a friend of her brother's who lived down there, so she was forseeing a possible relationship.

Other roomies

The other ones were not very memorable. I should note that I never really had a problem with roommates.  I figured out how to screen them well. Making sure they had a full-time job was key. Also, one time, a 19-year-old showed up with her parents to look at my place.  She was definitely a no-no. Her mom kept mentioning all the friends she could have over.

What I think shows up in a lot of these stories is this: Most of them moved on, and I stayed here.  

They generally left because of one of two reasons: They’d either saved enough money to finally live in The Big City, or they moved in with their boyfriend/got engaged.

And yes, I stayed in my quaint apartment. I never saw the need to live right in The City. The City is expensive, offered less space, and well, to paraphrase Billy Joel, moving out isn’t necessarily moving up. It’s a great place to visit, but I had no need to live there. I had a good apartment I was comfortable in. Why mess that up?

I was fairly alone in my twenties.  My college friends lived elsewhere, there was no internet to meet people, and I wasn't into the bar scene.  My co-workers were in their forties and married.  So I guess if I'd moved with Karen and Kate to a three-bedroom, I might have become closer with them and gotten out more.  But I don't know, I just didn't want to take risks.

Ending the streak

My string of roommates ended when I finally sold a novel. Rather than spend the money on a car or a vacation or something else, I decided to pay the whole rent from now on, and stop having roommates.

It would increase my happiness a hundred-fold if I could walk across the apartment any time I wanted, listen to the radio late at night, or waltz around in my underwear. 

Several years later, I did finally get engaged.  

My hubby is my roommate now, and he’s by far the best roommate I've had.   And...definitely the cutest.

Yum

Okay, so I've posted all these photos...and nothing of what we ATE! Particularly at Ben & Jerry's. Well, I was too busy eating my cookie-cookie sundae with hot fudge, rainbow sprinkles, and triple caramel chunk ice cream to take a picture.

I hardly ever eat ice cream, but sometimes ya gotta treat yaself.

And no, I didn't end up gaining weight. I guess the 1.5-plus miles we walked uphill from Lake Champlain back to the hotel the night before may have helped. (Owwww.) So, I got out of this one okay.


Manhattan solstice tomorrow?

The next "Manhattanhenge" is supposed to be around July 12 or 13, so if you liked my pics from last time and want to take some of your own, then go to NYC around 14th Street, or other wide streets, at sundown. We won't be going - the pics I took last time were enough, and the sun is blinding. Ouch!!! If you go, definitely bring shades.

Hay!!!

Might as well post more photos from our trip.

I must again compliment the Hubby on his excellent driving...even deftly maintaining patience when the occasional farm tractor pulled in front of us at 5 m.p.h.  (It even happened a few times on Sunday - what's that about?)

MOOSE, next mile

Some trip highlights I forgot to mention:

1.  We saw some "Moose crossing" signs.  I'd never seen those before!  So that was neat.  Didn't see any moose, though.  (That's probably for the best...hubby said if we'd crashed into one, we coulda been goners.)

2.  We also saw a hand-painted sign saying there was going to be a "coon shoot" for charity.  Neither of us signed up.

3.  On the way up, the Capitol Steps, a D.C. parody troupe, was on the local public radio station.  From what I just read on their website, they play their newest album on public radio on four holidays per year, including July 4.  So I guess we stumbled onto a special treat!  

Some of the song parodies weren't that hot.  Our friend TAB could do much better.  But there was a song about corporate sponsorship of U.S. states (Tex-Lax, Oklahome Depot) that was pretty good.  You can listen to the songs on their homepage.

we did see some cows, though

Vermonsters

This weekend, we went up to Vermont.  It was sunny all three days.  

We saw the Vermont Lake Monsters single-A minor league baseball team play.  We also walked along Lake Champlain, and toured the Ben & Jerry's factory.  And of course, we ate stuff with maple in and on it.

My hubby told me that each Ben & Jerry's factory employee gets THREE pints to take home for each day they work. What do they do with all those pints?  And where do they put them all? 

We asked two of the people at the factory. One kid says he gives them to friends. A girl said she's never taken it home. Wise idea. It would be hard to resist.  Hubby read somewhere that some of the employees barter the ice cream for other things (presumably before it melts!)

Anyway, at the end of the tour, they gave away samples of ice cream.  The flavor of the day to give out was a new flavor for 2008, seven layer coconut.  But I wanted my all-time favorite, Triple Caramel Chunk, which is delicious.  So later I got a sundae.

It was a great weekend trip and I thank the hubby for all the driving, including some country roads that allowed for the beautiful sights below.

Houses and flowers

Scenes from the road

Lake Champlain

The Hubby and me near the lake (betcha didn't know we were so tall!)

(By the way, I must take time out to congratulate SARAH on her engagement!!)

(Also, I still don't know who the mystery woman from the previous post is. Someone suggested it might be a contestant from Rock of Love, but someone else disputed this. Hmmmm!)

Who's that girl?

She was on the PATH train and some guys were telling her, "You look great, better than on TV." And one had his picture taken with her. 

It's the blonde girl on the right, in the black Ed Hardy shirt.

My guess is that she's from some reality show. Anyone know who she is?? E-mail me if ya do.

I got this response from Wes
(check out his very artistic blog, by the way):

Your assessment of the Baltimore Inner Harbor is WRONG!

Sorry it's taken me so long to get around to commenting on your libel of the Baltimore Inner Harbor! Yes, you're right that there's not a ton to the Inner Harbor *itself*, but there's enough going on in the area that you could easily vacation there for a week or more and not run out of things to do.
In addition to the handful of museums and educational attractions (the nerdy will particularly enjoy the MD Science Center and Geppi's Entertainment Museum), restaurants, and other noteworthy sights around the harbor and in downtown Baltimore, the Light Rail will take you to a number of locations throughout the state. Malls, oversized supermarkets, fairs, horse racing, zany LARP sessions where moderately successful businesspeople and engineers dress up in straitjackets and pretend to be retarded, drooling vampires (seriously, though admittedly I don't find these to be verymuch fun at all) -- they're all accessible via the rail.
Not to mention that Baltimore is a quick train ride away from DC, so you've pretty much got all of the sights and sounds of the Capitol available to you as well. So there.
But then, you would have known all this if you'd told me you were coming! The opportunity to catch up with me, after all, is the best reason to visit the Inner Harbor. ;)

My response:

Awww, Wes, the last line is so poignant. And as a New Jerseyan, I respect your willingness to defend the honor of your maligned homeland.

Actually, I haven't been to the Inner Harbor in a few years. But I must say, my indictment was indeed of the Harbor itself. Yes, I'm sure you're right that you can get to all kinds of great things via the light rail - but the fact is, the Harbor itself is a bit boring. The shopping, eating, and gawking are good for a day and that's it. (You can walk to a baseball stadium, though, if you're into that.)

I do believe that it might be a nice starting point for vising other things, so I'll give you that. I'm sure it's a great area to live in.

Anyway, I wish everyone a happy weekend, even if you're going camping or to the Inner Harbor.

Emily makes money

Remember I linked to blogger Emily Gould's front page NY Times piece?

Gawker reports:

"Emily Gould, the former Gawker editor, NYT Magazine covergirl, and admitted oversharer has sold her memoir, And the Heart Says... Whatever (organized by her tattoos!), for something in the "low six figures." Publishers Weekly says it'll "weave a picture of what it’s like to be a young person in New York City in the early 2000s through a series of 'honest, searching and wry' recollections." Galleycat thinks the figure was something around $350,000—a very high price, yet much more realistic than the earlier-rumored $1 mil. Bought by Free Press in a pre-empt, it'll be out around 2010. (There will be new Gawker editors to cover the inevitable leaked excerpts by that time.) "

For all the names she got called, the $350,000 will hopefully ease the suffering. I just don't think it's worth it.

More blog responses

Dave adds:

"Also, if it seems I'm over the top by suggesting that Verizon pulls this shit by design, remember that one of the problems in using their customer service is excessive phone times, and losing the call during the transfer!! It's a phone company, so obviously that can be avoided. Ticketmaster isn't as bad, for example."

And a friend says coffee isn't so bad by linking to this Harvard article:

http://www.health.harvard.edu/press_releases/coffee_health_risk.htm

Update: The Anonymous Blogger blogged about his five things that are overrated. (I have to disagree about rock concerts. They are UNDERrated!)

Anyway...

If I forget to say it before this weekend, everyone have a happy 4th!!!

Things that aren't as good as the idea of them seems to be

David Foster Wallace wrote an essay in the '90s called "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again" about taking a cruise.   Although the cruise was supposed to be fun, to him it really wasn't.

I've been mentally compiling a list of things that SEEM a lot better than they actually are. Here are some I've thought of:

1.  Camping -  I love the idea of being under an open sky, getting close to nature, being resourceful enough to live with the basics, and cooking over a fire.  But after a few days of being bitten by bugs, and worse, not having a really good, clean place to take a shower, I tend to feel dirty.  Also, tents start to get stuffy.  So the whole idea always outstrips the reality. 

Last year, the Hubby and I were in a hotel that overlooked a place where some Boy Scouts were having an overnight.  They were camping on a baseball field.  Anyway, at 6 a.m. the next morning, most of the dads were packing up the tents to go.  I could just imagine that for weeks and weeks, the boys and dads were so excited about their first camping overnight and couldn't wait for it.  And then it came, and one or both parties couldn't wait to go home and get some real sleep.

2.  Funnel cake - Those warm doughy fumes pervade any amusement park, luring you nosefirst.  But they smell better than they taste.  Because it's just thin dough with sugar.  It's tastes decent, but it smells divine.

3.  Baltimore's Inner Harbor - Fun for a day or maybe two days.  But really, beyond that, what is there to do?  Shopping can't last three days.  Not really a place you can vacation for a long time.

4.  Coffee.  Smells delicious.  And you hear people extolling the value of a "good cup of coffee."  But it tastes sour to me.  I can drink it with a lot of skim milk and sugar, but then it's really milk with some coffee flavoring.  Anyway, it's so bad for your health that I guess I'm lucky I never got into it.

5.  Hmmm, I think I've had other ideas in the past, but now I can't remember 'em.

Anyway, even though I'm sounding sarcastic, I could still enjoy some of these things (with the exception of the coffee) and find the good in them.  The point of this is not at all that these are bad things.  It's just that the IDEA of them sounds way better than they often turn out to be.

I bet you've got your own list, eh?  Feel free to blog about it.

Reader response to yesterday's entry

"Hey Car*n,

I don't know if you remember, but back in the days of complain-o-blog I had issues with Verizon.

I think the flaw in your assessment is your assumption that they don't do this by design.

VERIZON'S 'MISTAKES' NEVER COST THEM MONEY.

They always 'accidently' overcharge. I got a $600 phone bill because they signed me up for a phone plan that didn't include free weekends - such plans don't exist. Complete bullshit. I had a threefor plan (internet, homeline and cell) and there was no central authority to discuss the discount. Each had it's individual bill and couldn't account for the discount. They said I had to pay and get a refund. I paid what I owed instead, and when a few months later, I couldn't switch plans (or something) because I hadn't paid the money I didn't owe - they hadn't processed that I didn't owe the money.

I'm not claiming to be that needy, but I was dependant on freelance - and hustling to get freelance - to make enough to pay basic costs. Hours upon hours of problems was a major barrier to my working. Also, the extra $550 charge was way beyond my ability to pay.

You got off easy if it was only an hour and a half!

I'm fairly certian that people who don't have to pinch pennies let this stuff slip often enough for Verizon to make a couple bucks off of people who can't be bothered with the hassle.

In defense of the government, I believe it's sincere incompetence. "

From my friend at this blog. (By the way, check out his beautiful photos!)

Dumb things Verizon did

A few months ago, I got phone service for my mom.  

She hardly makes long distance calls, but the charge for the first month was more than $65. 

I was outraged.  When I'd signed up, I had asked Verizon for the cheapest service.  Was this really it?

I called them.  First off, they said that it was $2.50 each for certain directory assistance calls.  Any calls to 411 over the first four calls cost money.  I asked where that was written.  It was in some small print somewhere.  She'd made four of them, so I figured I'd tell her to be more careful.

But the bigger issue was the calling plan.  I said my mom doesn't really use caller ID, voicemail, etc.  She doesn't like complicated mechanical things.  They told me they had a cheaper plan for all that stuff, $36.99 per month.  They should have told me that when I signed up, but whatever...so I asked them to change to the cheaper plan.

The biggest issue

I kept talking to the guy, and we had a long, amiable conversation about how to remove other charges.  It ended with the plan being changes and some things being removed.

...or so I thought!

I got his name.  ALWAYS get people's names.  Even for the simplest things, it always gets lost in the system.

How it ended:  We ended our half-hour conversation, and I thought that was the end of it, and that I'd see the changes on the next bill.

The next bill

The next bill was exactly the same.  The new, cheaper plan was not on there.  There was no evidence of my half-hour conversation with the man.

I called Verizon.  I hate those calls.  With Verizon, which is supposed to be a phone company, they put you through about five different voicemail options before you get to a person.  If you are calling about cell phones or adding internet, you get through faster.

I got a woman and explained my situation.  She looked it up in her system and found no evidence of my half-hour conversation the month before.

I gave her the name of the man we talked to, the time and date I called, and what we talked about.

She didn't take any of it down.  I had proof of the conversation, and it was as if she didn't care!

She said she could start those services from right now.  I said I wanted a refund back to when I called a month ago.  She said she couldn't do that because she had no evidence of the conversation.

I again gave her the name of the man, etc., and she ignored it.  

Instead, she asked if I had an order number.  I said that the man never gave me one, and I didn't even know I was supposed to ask for one.  She said, "You're right; if he didn't give you one, there'd be no reason you'd know to ask for one."

Suggestion to Verizon #1:  Please tell your customers, when they change something, that they are supposed to ask for an order number!!  (And if you forget to give it to your customers, guess what, you have their phone numbers.)

I told this woman I wanted to talk to her supervisor (always what you should do).

She said she'd get the supervisor.  I was on hold for a minute.  She got back on and said that she was holding, but it might take a while.  I said I was willing to wait.

I also asked her to please not hang up on me (yes, it happens all the time even after you've spent a half hour going through things with someone, and then when you call back and give the name of the person you've been talking to, they say you can't talk to that person - so you have to start all over.  There is one company I've dealt with who takes your name and number right away when you call customer service, in case you get cut off.  I forget who it is now, but all companies should do this - especially the phone company, since they should know how not to hang up!!!)

The woman asked if I wanted to give my number so a supervisor could call me back later, or if I should continue to hold.  I said I would continue to hold, but I gave her my number anyway in case we got cut off. 

I held for a minute, and then I heard that familiar sound - I'd been cut off, of course!  Nice that the phone company doesn't know how to handle phones.

Part II:  My second call after I'd been hung up on

Instead of waiting for a supervisor to call me back, which I wasn't sure would happen soon if at all, I just called Verizon again and got through to a different woman and asked for her name.

I told her that I'd changed some services on the bill, and it didn't show up.

She said, "Yes, you changed from such and such to such and such...." and read my notes of the conversation from last month, the conversation the other woman said didn't exist!!

"I don't know why it wasn't ever put in," she said, confused.  

I asked that if she hung up on me by accident, if she would call me back.  "I won't hang up on you," she said kindly.

Anyway, she put the services back on and also authorized a refund for the extra charges from the past month.

Whew.

But she (of course) didn't give me an order number, so I asked her for one, and she gave it to me, and I wrote it down.

So this month, I got the refund and things are fine.  But it took an hour and a half of calls to straighten out something simple!

I am going to probably go to Verizon's website (since they actually prefer these days that you not talk on the phone to them - ironically) and paste this in, and make two suggestions:

1.  SUGGESTION ONE: Please take the person's name and number right away in case you 'accidentally' hang up on them when putting them on hold or transferring a call, so they won't have to call back and go through everything with a different person.  It's good customer service.  Especially with a phone company.

2.  SUGGESTION TWO:  Please give someone an order number when you change something, rather than waiting for them to ask, since they don't know they have to. 

While I'm here, here's a third suggestion:

3.  SUGGESTION THREE:  Put in bigger print what directory assistance will cost, since it used to be free.  Especially since you have senior citizens using it who don't use the internet.

By the way, to all of you reading this:  Get a person's name ANY time you talk to someone on the phone.  It's the only evidence you have of the conversation.

Second beef with Verizon

I switched to a different provider for my own phone a month ago....and...

A week later, I got a note stuck to my front door saying I had a package.  Often, UPS can't deliver packages to my building because the doors are locked.  So I have to go downtown to the van at a certain time to get them.

I did this the next night.  Turns out the "Package" was one sheet of glossy paper in a special mailer, from Verizon, asking me to come back to them...and they could offer me a really cheap rate!

Verizon should not be spending money on sending one-page letters special delivery.  That's part of what drove their costs up and probably drove me away from their services in the first place.

Third dumb thing Verizon does

Another complaint:  Even when I DID have their services, I used to get notices in the mail that said that "new customers" could get cheap rates. 

I called one time, and they confirmed that it didn't apply to me, but that it was sent out as a marketing thing even to existing customers who didn't quality.

It is so frustrating to write all these complaints that already wasted an hour and a half of my life.  But if I don't, it will happen to other people.

What I fear is that so many companies -- not to mention government agencies -- screw things up like this, and people who have less resources than I do, and are more needy, often end up not getting the help they need because they don't know how to push through the walls and get the right service.  

Can you imagine how people who are poor or sick get their right government help and medical help, if people like me have to struggle with customer service and can't get the phone company to do something right?  (Yes, it is a true analogy since the govt is even harder to deal with than private companies...trust me, I've given them information lots of times that disappeared from their systems and warranted other calls.)

Well, I don't know who read this, but at least I've gotten this down.  Whoo.  On the positive side, I should say that Verizon's technicians are good and have checked my lines before without charging me (well, one time, after a storm).  But their customer service should be improved.  They are, after all, a phone company.

And please stop sending out notices via UPS and driving up your fees.  Thank you.

By the way, here's my friend Jodi's long account of her struggles with Verizon for 10 months...

I posted this not to make fun of Verizon.  I even said something good about them a few months back.  

I posted this so that my readers can learn from it, AND because if I paste it into Verizon's website, where they have a place for you to put complaints, hopefully they'll change things, too.  Hopefully!

How it relates to your taxes and gov't

Also, I wanted to show how hard it is for a normal person to get customer service to do something simple, because if you can imagine how disabled and disadvantaged people deal with customer service for companies AND for the government (which has even more red tape), you can see how sometimes they don't get the right kind of help (health insurance, etc.) which costs us more in the long run.  These people end up going to emergency rooms because they don't have insurance to see doctors.

Social workers, whose job it is to help them, should get paid a lot more than they do.

Live longer

AOL news has a list of things to do to live longer.  It says to floss, because that reduces plaque and bacteria buildup and reduces the work your immune system has to do.  It said the same about antibiotics - take fewer of them because they cause your immune system to work harder.  

It also said that you should have more sex, and love - your body feels good when you're feeling loved.

Then I got to this:

"Healthy, balanced meals emphasizing plant-based foods are important to your immune system, giving you all the requisite vitamins and minerals. One of these minerals, selenium, helps prevent autoimmune diseases. And one of the best sources of selenium is the Brazil nut, although you shouldn't eat more than six a day."

You should eat them, but not more than six a day?  Where do they come up with this stuff?

Anyway, I want to add one:  Stay away from roller coasters.

Let's try this again

My eighth grade graduation, 1985

(hopefully won't mess up the formatting this time.  If it does, I'll keep it up for a day or two, then remove.  Also, I apologize about the lack of indents...)

“Oh my God!” my mother said to me. “The other girls are wearing $300 dresses! Are you sure you want to go through with this?”
It was June of 1985, and my family was sitting in our tan Chevy Citation outside of my junior high gymnasium, the car idling and facing a brick wall. I was there for my eighth grade graduation.
We had moved at the beginning of the school year to a wealthy central New Jersey town: farmy Holmdel, home to CEOs and actors’ offspring. We were already planning to move away, because we just didn’t fit in. One year in Holmdel was enough. We lived in the only “poor” development in the town. It wasn’t actually that poor, but it was old and it was across the street from dumpy Hazlet.
In Holmdel, the biggest insult occurred when a boy accused a teacher of buying his ties at K-Mart. Your parents had to own a new Porsche or comparable vehicle if you wanted to fit in. You were uncool unless you wore Guess jeans, Madonna bracelets and oversized fluorescent “Frankie Goes to Hollywood” shirts that said “Frankie Say: Relax! Don’t Do It!”

My mom watched the girls enter the gymnasium doors. “Maybe we should skip this,” my mother said. “I’ve never heard of someone wearing a $300 dress to a junior high graduation.”
I was shocked. My mother was letting me skip a school event because it might make me uncomfortable. When had that ever happened?
And why didn’t it apply to anything religious?
But I was resolved to go through with it. I was tired of not standing up for myself. At school, I was teased for being shy, and I never knew what to say in response when kids picked on me. I mostly turned away and looked at the ground, instead of coming back with an acceptable comeback, and that got me picked on worse.
But now, I was going to go in there and stand with the others, no matter what.

Holmdel, New Jersey is 56 minutes southwest of Manhattan. It’s a place of horse farms and six-bedroom homes. The median household income is $112,879. My parents had moved there because the schools were good. The only place we could afford to move into was the one middle-class development with 100-year-old homes that were close together. We paid $800 a month to rent a three-bedroom house.
At school, I frequently heard kids discussing which company their parents owned, and the fact that some of them were related to movie stars. (One day, our health teacher was lecturing about cocaine addiction, and she asked, “Has anyone heard of the actress Lauren Tewes from Love Boat?” A girl raised her hand and said, “She's married to my uncle.”)

One day, our eighth grade English teacher was discussing stereotypes. “Let’s face it, we live in Holmdel,” she said sarcastically, walking across the room. “We are rich snobs!”

I didn’t laugh.

*

I made my way into the auditorium for graduation, in my simple light blue dress. It had cost thirty-nine dollars at Bamberger’s.
All of us girls clustered backstage, around a giant cardboard box of corsages for us to choose from.
Most of the popular colors were gone. But I noticed one blue corsage near the bottom. It was exactly the color of my dress! I snagged it.
When I looked up, Stacie Sasser was staring at me. Stacie had thick wavy black hair and freckles, as well as a giant gold STACIE necklace.
She turned to her friend Alyssa and asked very loudly, “Are there any blue corsages in there?”
Alyssa looked at me pointedly and then peered into the box. “No,” she said. “I don’t see any blue ones left.”
“Blue is really the only color I can wear with this dress,” Stacie said.
“You’re right,” Alyssa said to her. “Blue is the only color you can wear with that dress.”
They both stared at me.
I waited limply with my blue corsage in my hand. “You can have mine,” I said
“Oh, thank you!” Stacie said, snatching it. “That is soooo nice of you! Alyssa, isn’t that soooo nice of her?”
“That is soooo nice of her,” Alyssa concurred.

We wandered around the heavy black curtains to the stage. The boys stood on one side, the girls on the other.
I remembered some of the things that had happened that year.
I remembered that several of the boys told a fat kid in our class that he “reeked.”
I remembered a blonde skater-boy who wore an Ocean Pacific hooded sweatshirt that said “No Fat Chicks” and featured a photo of a pig in a dress.
I remembered a popular girl stealing a box of M&Ms that an unpopular girl was selling for band, and no one saying anything.
I remembered a girl looking at me in art class and saying, “Ooooh, I looooove your shoes,” just to mock me and amuse her friends.
I remembered our social studies teacher catching two girls passing a note ridiculing his pants.

On the stage for graduation, we launched into our chosen graduation song.
“We aaaaaaare the wooooorld!”
“We aaaaare the chiiiiiiiildren!”
“We are the ones who make a briiiighter day, so let’s start giiiiiiiving!”
“There’s a choice we’re making, we’re saving our own lives.”
“It’s you who make a better day … just yoooooooou and meeeeee!”
After we angels finished up, I scooted off the stage and went home to finish packing to move.

THE END

Welcome, summer!!!!!

It starts today.

Gas prices too high? Got rich neighbors? Problem solved!

You can't afford to let their fancy cars just perch in the driveway like sitting ducks. Here's some useful info. Don't say I never helped you out!

Deleted

Today's post messed up the formatting of the whole blog, so I'll have to figure out how to fix it later and re-post it. So solly!

The Mets game that wasn't*

*(title generously contributed by The Hubby)

But we did get that night's giveaway, a replica of Shea Stadium, out of our trip.  So that was nice.

Shopping tips

1.  Many Sharper Image stores are going out of business and are taking percentages off.  But you might not be able to return what you buy.  Also, the website is down indefinitely.

2.  Bed Bath and Beyond accepts coupons that have expired, and sometimes uses all the coupons you give them even if it's more than one per item.  The coupon where you get $5 off any $15 purchase is a good one.  Today I used one from April.  I also had several 20 percent off coupons, which took additional money off my items.   Also, their coupons apparently can be used at Linens and Things, and vice versa.

E-mail of the day

A reader writes:

When is your next novel coming out? Also when is Carrie Pilby going to be made into a movie starring Ellen Page? The character of Carrie practically has Ellen's name written all over it. I love your first two novels and the short story in the christmas collection when are you gonna write me another one.
Your Fan,
[redacted]

Thanks, Fan! (And no, I didn't write this myself!)

This reminds me that it was five years ago this month that my first novel came out. It was a very hectic month because I knew I had to put in 20 hours a day trying to get publicity for the book while I had the chance. I had one month to really get it out there - and I couldn't waste any time.

I'd be up each night alone, lonely, on my computer until 3 a.m. trying to figure out how to get it out there.

I was very lucky for something: the timing of my book coming out was amazing. June was right at the beginning of summer, when people have time to read. Better yet, June of 2003 was a summer when chick-lit absolutely exploded. It had been percolating before, but there was suddenly so much of it that a lot of newspaper and magazine articles were devoted to the subject, not to mention special sections in book stores, including Barnes & Noble.

When those articles came out, a lot of them mentioned my book, since it was a bit different than the usual chick lit. This was great publicity. Plus, Red Dress Ink was still publishing only one book a month, and they printed more than 50,000 copies of mine. After that, they went to two books a month, then three. There became such a glut that eventually, chick-lit publishers had to scale down. But people are still reading women's fiction.

Thank you to everyone who read my books, especially those who still write and ask about them. I appreciate it! (And thanks to the Hub for marrying me even after seeing how weird my character was in my goofy first novel.)

Sorta-combonym (but not really)

Contaminato - n. A contaminated tomato.

How hot is it here in the Northeast?

From the Burlington Free Press:

The National Weather Service late Tuesday morning issued a rare tornado watch for Vermont. The watch remains in effect until 6 p.m.

As of 4 p.m., no tornadoes had been reported in Vermont. Hot, humid weather combined with a weather disturbance passing overhead fueled the storms.

In Burlington, the temperature reached a record-tying 93 degrees just before the thunderstorms moved in. Forecasters said western Vermont would likely get a sunny interlude late this afternoon and early this evening. But they said the trouble might not be over. A cold front in western New York was approaching, and thunderstorms were developing along it.

Forecasters said some of the storms could be severe as they arrive after 6 p.m. Cooler, drier air is due Wednesday.

Lakewood Blue Claws

We went to see a minor league team this past weekend, the Lakewood Blue Claws in central Jersey.  There were no crab claws to eat, but I had a nice salad, plus too many Cracker Jacks.  

Anyway, with a last-inning run, the Blue Claws won 5-4.

Poor guy...his hair just clashes with the uniform...

View from the parking lot when we left.  That's the moon up in the sky.  It's so nice to get into green country once in a while and see some hopeful major leaguers strut their stuff!

Pointless dream files

I've said it before:  Often, my dreams have no significance whatsoever.  Usually they stem from something, but not necessarily anything important in my life.

Last night I got some confirmation of the silliness of the majority of my dreams.  I had a dream that I was in a clothing store and I wanted to buy some pants, shoes, and another item I don't remember.  When I went to buy the shoes, I couldn't find them.  So I got the pants and the other item.  (Maybe it was a blouse.  I remembered what it was this morning, but by now I don't.)

So in the next part of the dream, when I got home, there was a girl by the door.  I instantly recognized her as someone who had been shopping right next to me, and knew she was going to accuse me of accidentally taking something of hers while she had been trying on clothes.  (It made sense in the dream, it really did).

Finally I went inside and couldn't avoid her.  She told me that her shoes were missing, and she wanted to know if she had accidentally taken them.  I told her that it was odd, because I couldn't even find the shoes I wanted when it was time to check out!  I told her that maybe the cashier swiped her shoes.  She was satisfied with this.

But later I checked in my room, and I had indeed accidentally taken her shoes.  And I realized why she would have been so upset - they were Vera Wang shoes!  They were green, incidentally.

I must pause here to say that I NEVER DREAM ABOUT FASHION and when I woke up from this dream, I thought that Vera Wang probably doesn't even make shoes.  I know why I had this dream, though - because of Sex and the City.  The Vera Wang scene and the episode on TV where Carrie's shoes get stolen at a baby shower obviously both were flitting about my subconscious for no particular reason (that TV episode is a great one, btw).

Anyway, I Googled to see if Vera Wang makes shoes, and she does.  Even some green ones.  

So yes, that movie has had an effect - but in real life, I still don't care about fashion.

Attention men:  Aren't you sorry you read this?

In other news...it's supposed to be like 90 degrees here this weekend.  Ooh!

UPDATE:  I just reread this entry and thought my hubby might react by saying, 'Um, sweetie, is this some kind of hint.'?  Answer:  NOOOOO!!!!  I would trip in those things, and any similar shoes, inside of two minutes.  There's a reason I wear Rockport sneakers every day (besides "because I can," which is a good one).  And no thanks on the $349 price (even on sale).  

Eek, now I'm a girl who had a dream about shoes.  I guess Sex and the City DOES have a terrible effect on the women of New York.  I'm going to go get some sushi and imitate Samantha now.  (If you haven't seen the film, boys, you miss the joke, ha ha ha!)

Scrumptious summer meal

Peas are actually very tasty - not canned peas, or a boring old box of peas-n-carrots that are overcooked, but fresh peas or frozen peas that you cook.

Here's a delicious summer treat:

Cook some peas.  Boil some rotini (or similar spiral pasta), then rinse it in cold water to cool it off (or refrigerate for a few hours if you have the time).  Mix the peas and pasta with tuna fish and mayo.  Add some seasoning if you want, like bacon chips or soup/dip mix, but you don't have to.  

Pea/pasta/tuna salad is delicious.  If you use low-fat mayo, it's also relatively low in satch fats.

Things in the pipeline

I have to write my negative Verizon experience, which won't be as long and detailed as poor Jodi's, eventually.  So, add that to my "I have to write eventually" list.

Random poem I thought of

Pious Jews/

Don't get tattoos

Question

If you say "God bless you" to someone who sneezes, what about someone who coughs?  Don't you want to bless them?  Is it rude to ignore them?

(Actually, you can always say, "cover your ^&*^ mouth.")

The end

I think that's enough nonsense for today, don't you?