Thanking the driver

On Friday, I was at a small gathering on a yacht with some visitors from New Zealand. The inevitable discussion topic came up about ways people are different in New Zealand than here in New York. One of the Zealanders mentioned that people here are really polite, as evidenced by the fact that they were all thanking the bus driver as they got off.

This happens on every bus I take (to and from New York), and I've thought about it. It's not out of custom. I wasn't taught to say thank you to bus drivers when getting off the bus. I don't think other people do it out of custom or etiquette, either.

For some reason, it just seems like you have to do it as you get off, as you are passing the guy and it almost feels rude not to. We do thank the McDonald's cashier who hands us our fries, and the shoestore guy who puts our Jordans on. We don't thank the garbage men picking up our trash, but we normally aren't parked right next to them for a few minutes.

I think people thank the bus driver mainly because they're passing him and "thank you" feels like the appropriate thing to say. I don't think they're consciously expressing gratitude because he got them there. I could be wrong, but it just feels like politeness more than gratitude, not like something you do because your parents taught you it once.


Another view of New York

Us New York-centric people sometimes forget that the rest of the world doesn't think like us and doesn't live like us.

A reader of mine in Texas forwarded to me a story from the Times about apartment brokers, with the subject head "I don't get it," and this comment:

That article is about apartment brokers – people that help you find an apartment in NYC. I have never heard of such a thing – why can’t people find apartments on their own?

I asked him if I could post this so that New Yorkers can laugh at him.


For those interested in writing and publishing

How much are you willing to give up for your art? A young writer (early 20s I believe) has posted this e-mail exchange with his editor at a small press. Eventually, the editor stopped working with him.

He posted the exchange here on his blog (go down to the e-mail exchange) and he also has linked to some people making fun of him, like here.


My updates

I'm working on a few different novels right now - since last December, I've had an unusual spate of ideas that excited me. In fact, I'm about finished with something I'll call Project F. Hopefully news on that by September.

Meanwhile, the novel I've worked on for four years is STILL being revised by me, and maybe I can get it done this fall.


At what point

At what point do people give up on their dreams?

I've known someone since college, let's call him "M," who is tremendously talented and creative. (No, he doesn't know this blog exists.) These days, he works his job, goes home to his wife, and that's it. Maybe he's happy. But 30 years old is way too young to decide that you're giving up. Maybe you realized you're not going to get drafted by the Red Sox, but then coach Little League!

(And yes, I know that maybe he's happy just relaxing. And I'm all for that. Still, I don't want him to turn 70 and say, hey, what the hell did I do?!)


Clerks II

Yes, I'm ashamed to admit that the yacht party got in the way of my plan to see it opening night and support talented New Jerseyan Kevin Smith. But rumor has it that a heroic boy may be taking me to see it very soon. Review to come (of the movie, of course).