I was on the bus coming home and the woman sitting next to me actually asked if I minded if she called someone on her cell phone. Isn't that the nicest thing?

I ate dinner with my mom tonight and as she was eating, she started this conversation:

MOM: Somebody, in a bottle of ketchup, found a penis.
ME: What? Where did you hear this?
MOM: It was in the newspaper.
ME: How did a penis fit in a bottle of ketchup?
MOM: Didn't your brother tell you about it? I told him.
ME: Is this real?
MOM: It was in Sweden.
ME: How did it fit in?
MOM: I think they built it around it. That's what I think.
ME: I don't see how it would fit.
MOM: Do you remember how I told you when I was little, a friend of mine found a finger in a can of peaches? I don't think the penis got there by accident, though. Someone would have to put it there on purpose.

She must have imagined it, right?