It wasn't me! (april 26)

http://www.jossip.com/gossip/whodunit/

Woof

For today's post, cute puppies!

And check this one out from multiple angles.

Opera verson of "Baby Got Back"

Seems to be making the blog rounds.

Tuesday's post

Still more rejected wedding songs

"Date Rape" by Sublime

(Note: very good for running on treadmill!)

Let me tell you about a girl I know,
had a drink about a hour ago.
Sitting in a corner by herself,
in a bar in downtown Hell.
She heard a noise and she looked through the door.
And saw a man she'd never seen before.
Light skin, light blue eyes,
a double-chin and a plastic smile.
Well, her heart raced as he walked in the door
And took an empty seat next to her at the bar.
"My brand new car is parked right outside.
How'd ya like to go for a ride?"
And she said."Wait a minute I have to think."
He said, "That's fine. May I please buy you a drink"
One drink turned into 3 or 4 and they left and got into his car
and they drove away someplace real far.
"Now babe the time has come.
How'd ya like to have a little fun?"
And she said."If we could only please be on our way, I will not run."
That's when things got out of control.
She didn't want to, he had his way.
She said, "Let's Go" He said, "No Way!"
Come on babe it's your lucky day.
Shut your mouth, were gonna do it my way.
Come on baby don't be afraid,
if it wasn't for date rape I'd never get laid...

.....The moral of the date rape story,
it does not pay to be drunk and horny.
But that's the way it had to be.
They locked him up and threw away the key.
Well, I can't take pity on men of his kind,
even though he now takes it in the behind.

Rejected wedding songs, part whatever

Why Don't You Get A Job? by The Offspring

My friend's got a girlfriend
Man he hates that bitch
He tells me every day
He says "man I really gotta lose my chickIn the worst kind of way"
She sits on her ass
He works his hands to the bone
To give her money every payday
But she wants more dinero
just to stay at home
Well my friend You gotta say
I won't pay,
I won't pay ya, no wayna-na,
Why don't you get a job?

I guess all his money,
well it isn't enough
To keep her bill collectors at bay
I guess all his money,
well it isn't enough
Cause that girl's got expensive taste
I won't pay, I won't pay ya,
no wayna-na,
Why don't you get a job?

Happy 420

On the radio this morning, they said it's the "Stoner's New Year" because 420 is a nickname for marijuana. (It comes from the police code for marijuana: 420). I'm glad there's another nickname for it; there simply aren't enough. Grass, pot, hootch, maryjane, and weeeeeeed are not good enough. Let's not forget a doobie, a joint, etc....

4/20 is also Hitler's b-day and the anniversary of Columbine. So all in all, I guess drugs are actually the best thing about the day.

I didn't get a chance to post yesterday, but there are more 'rejected wedding songs' to come from the Offspring, Sublime, and many more. Don't touch that dial!

I read that the idiot(s) who sodomized the dog in Newark have been captured. At least, suspects have. And...the doggy was adopted by the vet tech who had treated her every day. The tech also has four cats and another dog who will welcome their beautiful friend.

I hope everyone has a lovely Friday and a good weekend. It's going to be warm out, the Boy tells me.

The happiest sound in all the world?

If you are a fan of "The Sound of Music," or even if you're not (ahem), check out this very clever video on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26lEER3Pyr0

Brown

I bought what I thought were brown shorts at J. Crew. Now they look dark green. I hate when that happens.

When I look for the color on the tag, it says DOL. Hmmm. I'm sure that'll hit me later and seem really obvious. I think it is supposed to really say "D'OH! You bought a different color pants than you thought!"

I may keep them anyway. I can always use more khaki shorts.

Tuesday

I think my blog entries may be rather short this month because we are busy, but I'll try to be occasionally witty here if I actually get the time.

My barometer reached a new low yesterday (much like the blog itself, ha ha ha).

People say that it's harder to have a kid when you're older, but there is evidence that it's not - I mean, look at Steven and Elise Keaton. They pushed out that annoying little Andy just as soon as the other Keaton kids weren't cute anymore. Elise had to be pushing like 45. And what about Roseanne and Dan? If my kid was Darlene, I certainly would want to make amends by having another cutie, and that's what they actually did. Now, let's look at the Seavers on Growing Pains. Same deal. Mrs. Seaver (a journalist, yay) also had to be pretty old by then. Maybe that's why the kid's hair turned out so awful. It was pretty interesting how, over a summer, she went from being a newborn to being three years old. Super Seaver powers, no doubt! (I guess adopting Leonardo DeCaprio wasn't enough. You'd think it would be, for most families.)

And then there were the Bundys. How old was Peggy Bundy when little Seven came into their life? I think they adopted him though. He should have gotten married to "Six" from Blossom. They could have had a kid named 13.

Six was a great best friend, right up there with Kimmy Gibler from "Full House."

Hmmm, hmmm, that was five minutes of your life you can never get back.

Monday

This portion of today's blog has been prerecorded at an earlier date.

I just saw a commercial for a new episode of "King of Queens." That's still on the air?!

To the boy: Hi. You are great. Bye.

Stooooorm

There's a big storm coming. I updated the barometer blog slightly. That might just be the fourth post of the year!

Friday

Random things:

1. Kurt Vonnegut died. With all the news about Imus, Duke, Anna Nicole, et. al., it's being lost in the shuffle. This is the guy who wrote classics we enjoyed in high school! And he's DEAD! Hmmm...another right-wing conspiracy.

2. It's going to POUR here on Sunday into Monday, they say. One of those storms that just kind of swirls above us. I guess it won't be so bad, as long as we don't have to leave home.

3. I forgot my third random thing. I hate when that happens. Enjoy your weekend!

Photos that have been lingering on my camera

I haven't posted photos in a while, and I have a bunch on my camera. So here they are. And yes this counts as Thursday's entry. I am so ahead of myself!

The Boy joined me recently for another food review...



Meanwhile, someone on a nearby street is really good at fixing up his car...



Lastly, my heart was filled with joy upon seeing some Easter graffiti!

Big hair and malls

There is now a book description on Amazon about the anthology of New Jersey essays that I am in, which will be published in mid-June. Reading it, I am so very proud of my homeland.

From Amazon:

Mobsters. Big hair. The smelly Turnpike. The poor cousin of its glittering neighbor Manhattan. Could that really be all there is to New Jersey?

In Living on the Edge of the World, the best and brightest young writers from the much maligned state answer back with edgy, irreverent pieces of nonfiction paying tribute to New Jersey's unique place in the cultural consciousness.

Like a drive along the Garden State Parkway, their stories travel to just about every corner of the state, from Princeton and Hillside to Camden and Hoboken. In "Straight Outta Garwood," Tom Perrotta writes of the near inescapability of returning to his home state again and again in his novels; in "Exit 15W," Joshua Braff tells how all roads led back to the Jersey Girl he'd fallen for as a seventh-grader; Kathleen DeMarco takes a nostalgic look at her grandfather's cranberry bog in "The Family Farm"; Jonathan Ames recounts a failed attempt to consummate his flirtation with a boardwalk beauty in "Rose of the Jersey Shore"; and Frederick Reiken offers an elegy to a high-rise in Fort Lee that opens his eyes to a new, dangerous world.

A celebration of all that's weird and wonderful about the Garden State -- including Bruce Springsteen, the Nets, the Jersey Devil, the films of Kevin Smith, and Great Adventure -- Living on the Edge of the World will have New Jerseyans everywhere ready to stand and be counted.

Mailbag

Someone wrote in response to yesterday's entry and said that she was planning a shopping trip to get half-off Easter candy, and that it wasn't cringe-worthy; it was thrifty. She is actually quite right! I guess I was just trying to make fun of myself and my eating choices in college.

Anyway, Easter candy has come a long way. Every major candy brand now makes special Easter versions (like Easter mini-Twix and mini Easter Milky Ways), so you can get quite a deal the day after.

So, shop 'til ya drop! I am all for half-off chocolate.

In other news, someone in my writing group has asked that I read her essays that she wants to submit to a contest, so I bid you a good night so I can go read them. (Well, this will actually be posted in the morning, but I am writing it Monday night).

Monday

Sorry I forgot to post Friday. Oh well.

Yesterday was Easter. Happy Easter!

When I was in college and poor, I used to go to the CVS on Walnut Street the day after Easter to take advantage of 50 percent off Easter candy so I'd have junkfood in the apartment. That makes me cringe now. One of my roomies did it too, so it wasn't just me. When you're in college, you have to do what you have to do.

Snow

It's snowing right now, believe it or not. It won't last, but it's cold and it's snowing.

It snows more in March and April these days than it does in November and December.

Today is April 5, and I think in elementary school I had a friend whose b-day was today, but I can't remember who. Oh well. Guess I won't have to go to Toys R Us to buy a Magic 8-Ball or Wheel-O for their party now.

Two links for breakfast

A friend sent me a link she found to a list of definitely rejected wedding songs:

http://www.artofthemix.org/FindAMix/getcontents.asp?strmixid=5823

Here is a story from the Wall Street Journal about deciding if a book is for teens or adults. I'll excerpt some and link to the rest.

Pretty interesting to read even if you're not a writer. It gives examples like To Kill A Mockingbird (teen narrator, but for adults...) and more recently, Prep.

Teen Books Are Hot Sellers, But Formula Isn't Simple
By Jeffrey A. Trachtenberg
The Wall Street Journal
March 30, 2007

Larry Doyle, a former Emmy-winning writer for "The Simpsons" TV series, frequently pens comic pieces for the New Yorker. Although he is 48 years old and has three children, his sensibilities lean to the youthful. So when Mr. Doyle got an idea for a novel, it wasn't a stretch for him to write about being a teenager.

His book "I Love You, Beth Cooper," which will be published May 8 by News Corp.'s Ecco imprint, opens with a nerdy high-school senior giving a graduation speech. He then veers from his prepared text and declares his love for the school's prettiest cheerleader. The 24 hours that follow are either the best or the worst of his life.

"Most of my dreams involve high school or college, along the lines of, 'I forgot to take the midterm,'" Mr. Doyle says. "In this case, I dreamt the opening scene."

But when it came to turning this into a book, Mr. Doyle found that his teenage theme brought with it some difficult choices.

Last April, Mr. Doyle's agent, Sarah Burnes of the Gernert Co., began showing about 100 pages of "Beth Cooper" to publishers -- several geared to adults, but also a dozen "young adult" imprints that court readers 12-to-16 years old.

...determining whether a book should get a young-adult label is more art than science, and brings with it an array of complicated issues for authors, publishers and retailers....

http://209.85.165.104/search?q=cache:0CmUTiJS_1cJ:www.mediainfocenter.org/story.asp%3Fstory_id%3D104773924+Teen+Books+Are+Hot+Sellers,+But+Formula+Isn%27t+Simple&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=2&gl=us

Writer's life

In case you haven't heard, writing is not always fun. Check out what Ned Vizzini just wrote on his blog:

"I've been a WRECK this week. That book that I've talked so much about abandoning, aborting, etc.--the book that I have to write in order to continue to have a career...It's just all wrong. I don't know if it's salvageable."

I've had those moments. That's why I spend so much time revising and re-revising the beginning of a book before moving on, because I don't want to get to page 100 and say, "Wow, this is awful." But I think it can happen anyway.

But...you know what? I'm sure Ned's book is FINE. They usually are, in the end. Hang in there, Ned. It probably only needs minor adjusting, and it will come to you.

Do you really need to register your cell phone on the Do Not Call registry?

This is from www.donotcall.gov

For Release: February 6, 2007

The Truth about Cell Phones and the Do Not Call Registry

*********Despite Re-Circulating E-mail, It is Still Not Necessary to Register Cell Phone Numbers *************

As the number of phone numbers on the National Do Not Call (DNC) Registry surpassed 139 million, the Federal Trade Commission today reiterated that despite the claims made in e-mails circulating on the Internet, consumers should not be concerned that their cell phone numbers will be released to telemarketers at any time in the near future. In addition, according to the agency, it is not necessary to register cell phone numbers on the DNC Registry to be protected from most telemarketing calls to cell phones.

The truth about cell phones and the DNC Registry is:

Contrary to the e-mail, cell phone numbers are NOT being released to telemarketers, and you will NOT soon be getting telemarketing calls on your cell phone.

There is NO deadline by which you must register your cell phone number on the Registry.

Federal Communications Commission (FCC) regulations prohibit telemarketers from using automated dialers to call cell phone numbers. Automated dialers are standard in the industry, so most telemarketers are barred from calling consumers on their cell phones without their consent.

The national associations representing telemarketers have stated that their clients do not intend to start calling consumers’ cell phones.

There is only ONE DNC Registry. There is no separate registry for cell phones.

The DNC Registry accepts registrations from both cell phones and land lines. You must call from the phone number that you want to register. If you register online, you must respond to a confirmation e-mail.

While the telecommunications industry has been discussing the possibility of creating a wireless 411 directory, according to the FCC, even if a wireless 411 directory is established, most telemarketing calls to cell phones would still be illegal, regardless of whether the number is listed on the federal government’s National Do Not Call Registry.
For More Information

To learn more about the National DNC Registry and the rules that enforce it, visit the FTC at www.ftc.gov or the FCC at www.fcc.gov. For more information about a planned “wireless 411” directory, visit http://www.qsent.com/wireless411.