The book, and fantasy vs. reality love

I'm handing in the book to Superagent Thursday. It could take months to find anything out, but I'll be glad to have it done for a while.

The main thing it's about is the difference between 'fantasy love' and reality love. You know, pining for someone you think is perfect...when, in fact, if you were actually with that person, you would have to put up with the day-to-day mundane responsibilities etc. and have the fantasy shattered.

Most of us have had intense crushes on attainable people at some point (especially back in school), and sometimes it takes a while to get over them. Part of the reason for that is that you don't actually end up in a relationship with them, so you don't get to see how they'd really treat you or what kind of boyfriend/girlfriend they'd actually make. You only see or remember what you WANT to see - the good parts.

It usually takes a while to realize the difference between fantasy love and reality love. I read a book not long ago, non-fiction, about a woman preparing for marriage. She talks about how, a few months into dating her then-boyfriend, she told him she loved him. His response was that the only girl he ever truly loved was the girl he had a crush on in high school. (That girl didn't love him back, of course.)

It's very easy to get hung up on (and have dreams and fantasies about) someone you don't end up with, and only remember the good and not the bad. A question for you guys out there: When you fantasize about Pamela Anderson being your love slave, does she ever say to you, "Um, I can't today, I have my period and I don't feel well?" I doubt it. Not in your fantasy! But in real life, yes, she gets her Aunt Flo too.

I guess the point of my book is that sometimes you have to recognize that clinging to unattainable fantasies, or putting your best spin on a past love or crush or relationship makes it hard to appreciate what's in front of you.

I have a few single friends who have had trouble with this, because they were hung up on someone from the past and were slow to commit to a new person. Hey, give those new people a chance - don't make them live up to a prior fantasy. Instead, have the patience to discover what's new and fantastic within them! Especially if they really love and respect you.

Disclaimer: I am only a fiction writer and am not licensed to give out advice. In fact, about some things, I shouldn't even be listened to whatsoever. Bye.


The good news

The good news is that true love can feel like a fantasy at times. Writer Robyn Schneider's most recent blog entry is a lot of fun to read. By the way, her first novel just got published this week!