What was worse about this summer -- the weather, or the movies?

Tonight, on the way to trivia, I passed a guy who was wearing a shirt reading, "I SURVIVED AP HISTORY, 1995." It always amazes me when I see people who are actually nerdier than I am.

Tonight's top team name: "Arnold to Arnold: 'What you talkin' 'bout, Arnold.'

Thanks to all who tried to cheer me up about feeling bored with myself.

Woke up, put on clothes, went to work.

Over the rainbow: Even though it's been sunny all day, there was actually a rainbow outside around noon. I've never seen a rainbow when it was sunny before. It wasn't exactly a full bow -- more like a band, right at the top of the sky. I looked around, but no one else seemed to think it was all that. It reminded me of college, the day I was walking over the arched Locust Walk bridge, watching behind me because there was a beautiful rainbow across the sky. Most of the students, in their backpacks and frumpy shirts, were simply staring at the ground as they walked and didn't seem moved. I looked around. Didn't anyone care that there was a beautiful rainbow in the sky? Then, I saw Sloane, the campus gay activist, and he smiled at me. "Rainbow," he said.

Woke up, put on clothes, went to work.

I am apparently far from the only person to write a parody of "Cleanin' Out My Closet." There are about eight of them on this song parody site. Some are actually funny.

I'm just tired and bored with myself.

Woke up, got dressed, didn't go to work.

Esquire has decided not to have Jayson Blair review the Stephen Glass movie after all. They didn't want people to know about it until it came out. (Sheah, right.) The advance media attention made them change their minds. Here's a link to the story.

I'm looking forward to the movie. Glass was a year behind me in college in Philly. I have no lame stories about him to whip into a 2,000 word essay as some people have done. Sorry. Nor did I ever meet Monica Lewinsky. Sorry again.

I erred a few days ago. I got the cannoli at Cosmo's, not Carlo's. Carlo's, known for their cakes, is also good. On another note, I'm anticipating a hurricane before the month ends. If we start hearing about it, make sure you tune into the blog of my barometer for odd anticipation.

I have to finish revisions of book 2 this weekend, as per editor's suggestions. I will be happy to put finishing touches on it and ship it off. This fall, I'll be continuing work on the third book, which takes place in fall...I usually have to work on books in the season in which they take place. It's just how I am. It's hard to write in summer, anyway. More of my books are fall books than summer books.

One of the frustrating things about the internet is that there are so many sites, but so few are good reads. However, if you want to be entertained by a real writer who doesn't constantly blog about politics, check out The Inner Swine. Hoboken neighbor Jeff Somers lets us know just how he feels, and (as I've written before) there's a bit of Somers in all of us. He's also got a short story coming out in the upcoming issue of the Portland Review, and he's got two books, including Gen X tale of intrigue Lifers.

Here at the newspaper, we get "pets of the week" from two different animal rescue groups. One works with the local shelter and the other finds foster homes for animals. We put a pet in the paper each week in hopes someone will adopt him or her.
This week, I got a photo of a pet and put it in. But then our art director got one from the other group. She asked if we could put in their pet instead, and hold off on the one I got.
"No," I said. "This pet could be dead by next week!"
"Hmmm," she said.
"Why don't we hold the OTHER pet for a week?" I asked.
"Because then THAT pet could be dead!" she said.
We put in both pets.

I've been whistling the "Silver Spoons" theme. Most people here don't know what I'm whistling. I think our intern wasn't BORN in 1982.

Last night I went to the Museum of TV and Radio to see some Gen-X TV sit-coms they were showing. Even though I loved these shows as a child, they were, at times, excruciating to watch. But the timely references were great. On "Silver Spoons" (1982) Ricky Schroeder told his millionaire father that he knew all about computers. He said, "Does your computer have Random ACCESS Memory, or Read ONLY Memory?"

Ah, to be back on technology's cutting edge.

Woke up, put on clothes, went to work.

It has now been about 29 hours since I ate the cannoli. I remember when it was first handed to me, full of powdered sugar on waxed paper. It was a good cannoli.

This review is posted on AMAZON regarding Confederacy of Dunces:

A Confederacy of High School English Teachers, July 28, 2003

Reviewer: A reader from Not New Hampshire

This is a wonderful book, the discussion of which, up to this point, has been quite enjoyable. However, if you're the English teacher at a preppy New England boarding school, in the future please refrain from having your ENTIRE CLASS of trust-fund dolts post their endless, pointless, insipid, identical reviews on this site, okay? While I'm certain they are VERY special and represent some of our nation's finest families, no one comes to here to be subjected to 25... book reports. Thanks.

What's funny is that I read some of the "book reports," and they call the book "The Confederacy of the Dunces" and make mention of winning the "Pulitzer Prized." I guess the trust funds weren't high enough.

I like the Black Eyed Peas' new song, Where Is the Love, except for the fact that for a song against prejudice, it says something pretty prejudiced in it. "Wrong information always shown by the media..." they sing at one point. People often forget, when they blame "the media," two important facts: 1. It's often the media who are protecting you by being the only folks to be pressing for the truth when everything and everyone else is funded and controlled by the government (duh), and 2. "The media" consists of thousands and thousands of often-young, idealistic people who got out of college and took a low salary so that they could learn about government and what's going on in the world and write about it -- and they can't all be grouped into one category. For every Jayson Blair, there are 1,000 cub reporters doggedly hanging around a City Council meeting holding a politician's feet to the fire on why he gave his cousin a $1 million accounting contract. Let's think about the "duct tape" controversy. What happened there was that the government had raised its terror alert, no one really knew how to react, they kept pressing for more information or something they could do, so the media asked gov't officials and found someone who suggested buying duct tape. That had nothing to do with the media wanting to "create" fear or a scandal; it was a media reacting to the public's lack of information and trying to find something when the gov't was being less than forthcoming. The media doesn't try to create bad news. Anyone who works at a newspaper will tell you that it's 10 times easier to write a feature on granny's 100th birthday than to keep calling someone who doesn't want to talk to you about an investigative piece. When you blame the media, consider how many people you're blaming, and how much they do for you every day whether you know about it or not.

The only scary thing is how many newspapers are being joined and condensed these days. Every time we lose a newspaper, we lose a little bit of pressure on our gov't to be honest. The loss of dailies has strengthened weeklies (like the chain I edit), but that doesn't mean we shouldn't have plenty of both. Unfortunately, some newspapers lose money, and they can't exactly get government grants like maybe your business does.

One more thing I'd like to say is that the media doesn't focus on "bad" news, as the Black Eyed Peas imply by saying that we show the same images over and over. We show evocative images, sure. But the more we wake people up, the more we can prevent tragedies from happening again. If you'd like us to start reporting every safe landing of an airline so that when one crashes you'll know it's a rare thing -- rather than just focusing on the crash and why it happened and how to stop it from happening again -- you just let us know. I don't think the media should spend its few resources covering every safe landing at the airport.

UPDATE: Faithful blog reader Brad writes:
You defend the media and its eager cub reporters so much, but you fail to mention that the media is a business, and like so many businesses, it boils down to money. As Robin Quivers says, "Anger and fear sells". So the media prints shock-value headlines (some media outlets are worse than others) in order to tempt people to buy the paper and see their advertisements. They don't lie outright, but they certainly color the facts for a particular agenda (whether economic or political). Your paper isn't affected by this concept because it's free. For proof of this concept, see the movie "The Insider" with Al Pacino.

It's true that SOME media outlets print shock headlines, but that's my point. They don't ALL do so. If you judge "the media" by what SOME of them do, then that's unfair. I e-mailed Brad and told him that, and he still said there are people at the top who want power and money, and they make decisions like "Hire Jayson Blair." True. But when criticizing the media, remember all the good they do. And most of the Times reporters are doing the best they can with what they have. As for "The Insider," the journalist did his best to expose big tobacca. Nobody else did. And such a story being squelched is the exception rather than the norm -- which is why it's in a movie. Where is the love?

Yesterday, I wrote a song parody about work. It's at www.carenlissner.com/keyboard. Feel free to forward the link or song to friends who are in an office right now.

Woke up, put on clothes, went to work.

Today's Freudian copyediting slip I had to correct: "Mother-in-lawn."

Too many posts today, eh? Blame it on the cannoli.

Is this a joke? Today's two New York Post cover stories are "RATS TAKE OVER FIREHOUSE" and "HAWK ATTACKS DOG." Do they mean in New York, or Bizarro Cartoon World?

I'm already reminiscing about the cannoli I ate an hour ago. Man, that was a good cannoli.

I finally fixed the problem with my archives, so now you can read everything ever published on this site, from its humble beginnings when I used to write "Woke up, put clothes on, went to work" every day through the middle when I used to write "Woke up, put clothes on, went to work" every day.

Feeling down? Start your day with a chocolate-covered cannoli from Cosmo's Bakery in Hoboken.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Update: Someone asked him what he actually thought of "Gigli." Here's his response.

Is Kevin Smith worried about the atrocious reception "Gigli" is getting and how it might affect (Afflect) his own Ben & Jen movie, "Jersey Girl," due out in February? Of course not, he says in a message board post.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, didn't go to work, worked on third novel. The last two photos of upstate New York are up on the page.

"Ho hum." -- My boss, five minutes ago.

Second photo from my brief road trip to Upstate New York.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

There's a thing on Amazon that shows "similar" items to your book. In my case, they're generally other "chick lit" books, but if people buy DVDs or CDs with my book, then those end up in the category, too. So if you click it for CDs, it comes up with David Gray, the Dixie Chicks, Eminem and Norah Jones. What does that say about me? (I shouldn't joke, though, as in truth, I've bought two out of four of those! Hint: Not the Dixie Chicks.)

Woke up, got dressed, went to work.

Good morning. I will share a morning photo from a recent road trip to upstate New York with you now. More to come.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Reader response:

"I must say that you really have a good eye for photography. However, even though the pictures are very good, it is like a first draft of a story. In other words it needs some work to put a better effect into it. They deserve more of a mood than is permitted by most lighting situations. Since I have no life to speak of, and since I enjoy doing things like this, I took the time to play with yours. I mean your photographs! I hope that you like the way they look."
On a different subject you said in your blog recently “ Oops, I messed up. I don't know how something political got on this blog. Went to work, put pants on, etc.” It seems to me that you got the pants thing a little out of sequence. Still, I like the concept. It must be a real hoot working for you. I might park outside the office just to see for myself if it is true! ( : - ) >
Regards:
Mickey"

Or, you could always send a resume...

DISCLAIMER: That was a joke. Don't sue me, Ash.

I hear Ashton Kutcher is actually dating Michael Moore....

Woke up this morning...and got myself a gun.

Hey, that's just the theme from the Sopranos. Relax.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

60 minutes says: "Despite his success, Michael Moore insists he's an introvert and not cut out to do this kind of work."

Funny, but I can partially believe it. Some of us journalists are secretly shy but our need to write about things or expose them forces us to take up the profession. Even though I was a full-time reporter for five years, I often secretly hesitated before having to call people or ask questions. I remember the first time I had to ask questions of random people. I was in eighth grade when I took a summer journalism workshop (yes, I know it's nerdy) at Brookdale Community College in Lincroft, NJ. Our task was to put together a newspaper over two weeks and give it out at Sandy Hook beach. There were some great kids in that workshop - I wonder what they're doing today. Anyway, we had to write stories about the beach, and my assignment was to interview the toll collectors. I knew that I should get a few comments about the tolls by walking up to random beach-goers, too, and that I could get away without doing it but that it would probably strengthen the story if I did it. I remember saying to myself, "Well, if you choose to be a reporter someday, this is what you're going to have to do." So I made myself walk up to strangers on the beach and asked them how they felt about the beach tolls, and they were very nice. (It would take a hardhearted person to be mean to a shy 14-year-old with a notebook.) I still call people all day and do things in public like have book readings and co-host trivia, but it doesn't mean I don't sometimes have to force myself.

In the past week, one person has complained about the repetition in this blog, and another said it would be funnier if it was only "Woke up, got dressed..." every single day, which it actually used to be. The reason I don't do a full-fledged blog is that I'm doing too much other creative writing I don't want to take away from, and if I have an idea I want to use in a future book, I don't want to spoil it by putting it in more raw form here. But I may sometimes want to talk here anyway.

I just saw that someone has a blog called "Cheaper than therapy."

Anyway, I just added to my website excerpts from people's comments about my novel on their blogs and livejournals. Some of them are funny. I'm happy with the fact that it encouraged a girl to listen to her favorite music and jump around her room, basically reminding her to engage in the simple pleasures now and then. See - its influence is positive; it's not going to cause someone to blow up all her stuff in the microwave like Hard Harry's show in Pump Up the Volume.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to see Bruuuuuuuuuuuuce!

Jayson Blair was just given a contract by Esquire magazine. He is going to write a review of the Stephen Glass movie.

Check out the Blog of my Barometer for a highly unimportant storm update. Check out the bottom of www.carenlissner.com for beautiful photos of NJ.

What I said yesterday.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Oops, I messed up. I don't know how something political got on this blog. Went to work, put pants on, etc.

Trivia funny answer d'jour: Last night, my co-host, Eric, asked what Robin's secret identity was. One of the teams answered, "Batman's b--ch." Not telling us anything we didn't already know, but still funny to read out loud. Oh, former co-host (and founder) Dawn's team won this week (and no, it is not fixed!)

How 'bout that, GOP -- we have to go to Clinton to confirm something as truth!

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up. Put clothes on. Went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, didn't go to work. Worked on third novel. After two years, I think I'm halfway done.

Woke up, put clothes on, didn't go to work, hiked at Watkins Glen park in upstate NY.

On the way home I noticed that I hardly ever see bumper stickers on cars anymore. Is it because everyone's wealthy and has new cars and doesn't want to mess them up, or are bumper stickers just too retro?

Woke up. Put clothes on. Went to work.

My trivia co-host Tuesday played clips from comedians. One of them was Buddy Hackett, and I realized how much I had missed hearing that Dannon yogurt pop voice. I just saw this in an article about him: "Always well liked, he was never known to say a bad word about anyone. When asked about his view of Hitler, he once replied: 'You gotta admit he was tops in his field.' "

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Went to the dentist. He gave me a form to fill out so I could check off allergies and other conditions. One of the questions said "Texture of toothbrush?" After some confusion, I wrote, "bristly."

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Is this blog way too interesting for you? Check out the blog of my barometer.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, didn't go to work.

Woke up. Put clothes on. Went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up. Put clothes on. And...went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Last week, at trivia, we asked the following current events question: "In Saturday's New York Times, a Liberian boy was pointing a gun at a photographer. He had something pink strapped to his back. What was it?" The answer was: a teddy bear. However, we gave a special prize to the team that answered, "A giant bottle of Pepto Bismol."

A Google search reveals that my novel was just added to the juvenile section of the Piggott Public Library in Piggott, Ark. The Piggott Public Library website says this about its history:

Piggott has always had citizens who are interested in progress and who want the best for the youth of the town.

Ulp.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work. (My homepage.)

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, didn't go to work.

A photo from last night's NY reading. Note: Political views expressed on Michael's website are probably the opposite of mine. ;)

UPDATE: Dawn has posted something nice as well!

"You haven't woken, put on clothes, and gone to work since Wednesday.
I'm worried.
--Brad"

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Quotes from trivia last night: "Question 2. Within five years, what is the average life expectancy of a beaver...why is everyone laughing?"

Peaches writes: "Are you sure they're just flowers? We sent a PLANT."

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work, got nice flowers from Peaches & my former roommate. (Some people will do anything to get mentioned in the blog.)

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Apparently I'm an inspiration to all. Scroll down a few paragraphs to "Some comments about Caren."

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, didn't go to work, was pleased to see the return of Ian Williams' brilliant weather report (see end of June 21 entry).

Woke up, put clothes on, didn't go to work.

A dedicated reader ("Peaches") writes: "Did you forget to wake up on the 17th?"

The answer: No; It's just that it's hard to remember to blog every day when you're a world-famous novelist and you're on the road 25 hours a day dealing with all the long-lost cousins who have come out of the woodwork trying to get some of tha bling-bling.

Woke up, put clothes on, didn't go to work. I'm off today recovering from my reading in Philly. Nyah.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work. (Did same thing yesterday.)

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work, updated my regular website.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Mailbag: "This is your former roommate's mother speaking. Listen, I woke up, put clothes on, and went to work for years to support your former roommate, so I figure by now I have the right to a name. You can call me Peaches."

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

"What's this?? 'Did same thing yesterday'??? You, my friend, are getting LAZY!
-Hawaiian Blog fan, Sam."

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.

Did same thing yesterday.

Woke up, put clothes on, went to work.