They are filming a police chase, with squealing cop cars and motorcycles, outside my window. I am trying to get work done. I have lived in this area for about 10 years so I am not as impressed as I otherwise would be. I think they are on like Take 27. Aagh, shut up!!!

WOMAN ON PHONE: Is that K-a-r-e-n-e-n?
ME: No, c-a-r-e-n.
WOMAN: That's an unusual spelling.

DEER DIARY, I think I am a geenyus. Look at what I wrote earlier today: "So I replaced the template with the same template, and it still had the space - must be a problem in the template."

So I replaced the template with the same template, and it still had the space - must be a problem in the template. Anyway, I replaced it again, with what you see here. Thanks to the suggestion of Mickey (which blog are you at these days?) to change templates. Now, moving right along.

Thanks for all your suggestions on the empty space. Wes gave me some code to put in. So far it didn't work, but I was impressed anyway!

Literary snark war of the week: Steve Almond responds to the anti-MFA program article.

Okay, why is Blogger leaving so much space up there? I've tried deleting codes, ending my sentences eariler...this is annoying.

One of our reporters is on the phone,
and I just heard him say,
"That was two years ago, and it was the last paragraph
of a page 7 story."

Ah, everyone calls to kvetch.

Woke up, put on clothes.
(I'm dropping 'went to work' because
that's too much information.)

Valerie has found the perfect owner for the four-legged, two-penised puppy!!

What has gotten into the world's water supply?

Things to note:

People have mentioned to me lately that frozen grapes are good. So I tried them. They ARE good. Very sweet, and they kind of slush up, so it's like eating little pellets of frozen ice pops, without the artifically added sugar. Mmm.

I've heard people make excuses time and time again not to help someone or volunteer. Here's a blogger friend of a friend who actually made the effort to get a wandering lady off the road - and it made a difference in the lives of two young ones!

Yesterday was the first day of summer. Kids are out of school, or at least, almost. What can I accomplish in these next two months? Ah, such pressure, but I love the change in seasons.

Woke up, put on clothes, etc.

Worst media pitch ever:

Hey [my name], because your company is a fellow member of the National Media Executives
Association, I've set it up for you to get an immediate try-out of two issues of the edgy
underground humor magazine if you ask for it in the next few days.
We're not controlled by advertisers or corporate publishers so we don't care who the
magazine pisses off...the handicapped, religion, molested children, "beloved" celebrities, etc. That's why we say "If it's too offensive, you're too old!" lol
Go to the website to get two issues mailed to you at the same time by Priority Mail.

Some of the pieces you'll get in Issue #1 include:
How To Explain War To Your Retard
Rules for Handling "Manhugs"
Why Judaism Should Be Retired
12 Things Billionaires Do
Bush's Colin
How To Get Her to Say "Yes" To 'Back-Door' Lovin'
And Issue #2 includes:
How To Convince Her To Have Your Abortion
Mexicans Can't Make Toast
Angry Black Man
Bush's Nigerian Letter Scam
...and the controversial, "When I Was Jesus" (What he does to the apostles is awful!!
lol)
You want to do this in the next few days to get the two-issue try-out arranged for you
before it gets removed from the website.
Hope things are going great with you and [newspaper's name] :)

That 8-year-old Utah Boy Scout has been found five miles from camp, and has already inked a deal for his memoirs for $3,000,000,000,000. Can't wait for that one.

Someone just found this blog by Googling "Making a doody." Oh, how wonderful.

Hold onto your hats!

A six-legged, two penised puppy has been found in Malaysia!

The Writer Side

There is an interesting column on Moby Lives this week saying that writers shouldn't go to MFA fiction programs. A pretty well-written piece, but the conclusions don't necessarily apply to all MFA programs. The thing is, writers' workshops and critique groups have to be oriented to become constructive for the parties involved, rather than having writers compete and tear each other down. Sometimes critique groups need a little guidance. I've been in one for going on ten years now, and it's evolved into something (usually) helpful.

The dogs of Washington Square Park

I saw this dog on Saturday in Washington Square Park in the West Village, but could not figure out which breeds it was a mix of. I asked the owner, and it turned out to be two breeds that I wouldn't think could have had sex. Take some guesses, and I will put the answer at the end of this post.



Meanwhile, this English bulldog was looking depressed.



Give up? The first one was a dachshund and pit bull mix. What had me confused was that it looked like a dachshund, but way too big.

If you chew gum a lot, does it exercise your facial muscles and make you more, or less, likely to have wrinkles?

CARRIE PILBY makes a great high school graduation or college graduation gift! Buy it at Amazon today! - Advt.

Will soon wake up and do it all again.

I just wrote some stuff here about the novel I'm finishing it up, and then I erased it. I'd rather wait until it's completely done to talk more about it.

The revisions are pretty much over. I'm going to just nip and tuck over the next few weeks and my agent will send it out in August, I think. I tried to rush it earlier this year, but it needed a bit more sculpting. Now, it passes the Cringe Test - meaning, I can open it to any page, and I like what's there and believe it all needs to be there and moves the plot along.

The process of waiting to hear back on this one could take a little while, and I'll still be slightly futzing with it because revisions never really end. In November, the Carrie Pilby sequel novella is coming out, and publicity for that should take some time, too.

I do have a few other ideas for novels in the back of my head that I will get to eventually. I get so emotionally tied up in what I'm writing that I'm not ready to start a new book until I can make it a priority in my life. And right now, it's not my main job.

People keep getting to this blog by putting in Justin Tussing, et. al. Yes, I know the New Yorker's debut novelists are fascinating. Really, I do!

We went to the racetrack and I lost $4 betting on horses. There was one race with only six horses in it, and my halfsis and I bet on two horses to show, and they both lost. Oh well.

At one point, I was bored so I wandered out of the race track, followed some train tracks north, walked down a residential street, found a lake, and stared down at the tiny fish swimming around at the water's edge. Then I returned. I take my attention deficit to extremes.

Happy Father's Day!

My dad moved into a new house, and one of the neighboring houses has a tied-up goat in their back yard. Guess you can be creative with your pets in the 'burbs. Or maybe they were going for the standard 2.5 "kids."