Just overheard outside my window
GIRL: [Sarcastically] Oh, it's not your fault! It's not your fault you didn't mention me! It's not your fault that nobody knew my name! [couldn't hear] ...girlfriend!
GUY: IT'S FUCKING PART OF THE BUSINESS WORLD!!
2/25/2006
2/24/2006
Why publishing is horrible
Well, of course it isn't! To be a writer, and know that there's a chance that you can bring people into the crazy world that's in your head...and to take things you find beautiful or strange or poignant and explore them and record them on paper...that is a true privilege.
But here are some other things that happen:
1. The books you love the most don't sell, and the ones you care about less do because they are more marketable.
2. You are thrilled one day because you think you finally have your manuscript where you want it, and then you read it again 24 hours later and your heart drops because it's awful.
3. You can't read anything you've written anymore because you've read it so many times.
4. You bring stuff to your writers' group and they say nothing helpful.
5. You bring stuff to your writers' group and they say, "Who's the audience?"
6. You are deciding between two directions to go in your story, and you're alone, and are not sure which one to take, and you don't want to do the hours of work until you know, but there is not a soul you can ask who will have the "right" answer, except maybe your agent, who has to market the thing, but you can't keep e-mailing your busy agent just because your toe hurts. Besides, you remember the other 9,000 times you were at this crossroads and you overcame it on your own. But it still feels sucky and you need to put in eight hours to figure it out. You might even need to write out and explore both ways...
7. You are a young writer in your early 20s (this is not my experience, don't worry) who gets 'discovered' and told all kinds of great things by your publishing company about how they will market you, and you just can't stand waiting until your book comes out because you will become famous. You are sure they will send you on tour and readers love you and quote you...and then the book comes out and it's just really really quiet. And you find out you have to do a lot of publicity yourself. And this thing you worked so hard for, that's nearly a miracle to happen, still means you're one of two million authors on Amazon.
8. You give a friend your writing and he tells you to go see some movie or read some book to make yours more like that one.
9. You hear about some kid who sold a novel just on a proposal, when meanwhile the rest of the world actually has to write the book first, and you just don't get it.
10. There is no number 10.
I'm sure this list makes you think I feel really bitter tonight or something, but I assure you that I'm NOT. I just figured it'd be interested to look at the downside.
Oh, I have a # 10 now...
10. You might get a cover that doesn't look like what you want to evoke with the book (note to my publisher if you are reading this: This is just a generic list, not a personal complaint. I promise - it's a common writerly complaint.)
Oh. #11
11. You have to worry every day that something will happen in the world that makes your manuscript irrelevant or unmarketable, or someone will do something too similar and make yours unsalable.
etc.
Well, of course it isn't! To be a writer, and know that there's a chance that you can bring people into the crazy world that's in your head...and to take things you find beautiful or strange or poignant and explore them and record them on paper...that is a true privilege.
But here are some other things that happen:
1. The books you love the most don't sell, and the ones you care about less do because they are more marketable.
2. You are thrilled one day because you think you finally have your manuscript where you want it, and then you read it again 24 hours later and your heart drops because it's awful.
3. You can't read anything you've written anymore because you've read it so many times.
4. You bring stuff to your writers' group and they say nothing helpful.
5. You bring stuff to your writers' group and they say, "Who's the audience?"
6. You are deciding between two directions to go in your story, and you're alone, and are not sure which one to take, and you don't want to do the hours of work until you know, but there is not a soul you can ask who will have the "right" answer, except maybe your agent, who has to market the thing, but you can't keep e-mailing your busy agent just because your toe hurts. Besides, you remember the other 9,000 times you were at this crossroads and you overcame it on your own. But it still feels sucky and you need to put in eight hours to figure it out. You might even need to write out and explore both ways...
7. You are a young writer in your early 20s (this is not my experience, don't worry) who gets 'discovered' and told all kinds of great things by your publishing company about how they will market you, and you just can't stand waiting until your book comes out because you will become famous. You are sure they will send you on tour and readers love you and quote you...and then the book comes out and it's just really really quiet. And you find out you have to do a lot of publicity yourself. And this thing you worked so hard for, that's nearly a miracle to happen, still means you're one of two million authors on Amazon.
8. You give a friend your writing and he tells you to go see some movie or read some book to make yours more like that one.
9. You hear about some kid who sold a novel just on a proposal, when meanwhile the rest of the world actually has to write the book first, and you just don't get it.
10. There is no number 10.
I'm sure this list makes you think I feel really bitter tonight or something, but I assure you that I'm NOT. I just figured it'd be interested to look at the downside.
Oh, I have a # 10 now...
10. You might get a cover that doesn't look like what you want to evoke with the book (note to my publisher if you are reading this: This is just a generic list, not a personal complaint. I promise - it's a common writerly complaint.)
Oh. #11
11. You have to worry every day that something will happen in the world that makes your manuscript irrelevant or unmarketable, or someone will do something too similar and make yours unsalable.
etc.
2/23/2006
Toothless people
Tonight a homeless couple got on the subway train and told a sad but very unlikely story in order to get money. It seemed pretty ridiculously untrue to me. However, they both had really bad teeth, and didn't look like they were in great shape, so I gave them a buck anyway. Even if they're drug addicts, being a drug addict is hard work. Plus, drugs are expensive.
Tonight a homeless couple got on the subway train and told a sad but very unlikely story in order to get money. It seemed pretty ridiculously untrue to me. However, they both had really bad teeth, and didn't look like they were in great shape, so I gave them a buck anyway. Even if they're drug addicts, being a drug addict is hard work. Plus, drugs are expensive.
2/22/2006
Im polite
A few weeks ago, there were two days in a row where people told me that they tried to give me a kiss on the cheek and I turned away. Well, I wasn't really aware of it in either case. My head was probably just in the clouds, or I just thought they were only giving me a hug. So don't feel bad! I wasn't paying attention. Gosh.
A few weeks ago, there were two days in a row where people told me that they tried to give me a kiss on the cheek and I turned away. Well, I wasn't really aware of it in either case. My head was probably just in the clouds, or I just thought they were only giving me a hug. So don't feel bad! I wasn't paying attention. Gosh.
2/21/2006
Pilbescence
Last week, two random people on consecutive days wrote to tell me that they liked Carrie Pilby. And then I got my first new Amazon review in months on it. I wonder why it goes in phases. Maybe people had more time to read last week? Maybe it was reviewed on someone's website recently? Who knows?
...Also, if you're one of the people who agreed to read some of the new book and comment, and you didn't get it yet, I only sent out some of them and will send the rest in a day or two.
If you already have it, please give me all thoughts you have. Some people act afraid, or they say, "You're such a good writer and I'm just a reader and maybe you have some brilliant reason for doing such-and-such..." but my rough drafts are rarely brilliant until I get feedback. If you find yourself uninterested in a character, or there's a plot point that gives too much away or doesn't interest you, tell me all that. Basically, I want to know what makes you less interested in reading further. And tell me if you have any ideas on how to fix it. If enough people say the same thing, then it's even more valuable advice.
Believe me, I can't see the book the way a reader sees it at first glance. I'm helpless without you, darlings! Give it to me straight!
If you're worried about being too "mean," then also tell me what you like. There there.
I'd rather you be mean now, then editors be mean and reject the book.
Last week, two random people on consecutive days wrote to tell me that they liked Carrie Pilby. And then I got my first new Amazon review in months on it. I wonder why it goes in phases. Maybe people had more time to read last week? Maybe it was reviewed on someone's website recently? Who knows?
...Also, if you're one of the people who agreed to read some of the new book and comment, and you didn't get it yet, I only sent out some of them and will send the rest in a day or two.
If you already have it, please give me all thoughts you have. Some people act afraid, or they say, "You're such a good writer and I'm just a reader and maybe you have some brilliant reason for doing such-and-such..." but my rough drafts are rarely brilliant until I get feedback. If you find yourself uninterested in a character, or there's a plot point that gives too much away or doesn't interest you, tell me all that. Basically, I want to know what makes you less interested in reading further. And tell me if you have any ideas on how to fix it. If enough people say the same thing, then it's even more valuable advice.
Believe me, I can't see the book the way a reader sees it at first glance. I'm helpless without you, darlings! Give it to me straight!
If you're worried about being too "mean," then also tell me what you like. There there.
I'd rather you be mean now, then editors be mean and reject the book.
2/20/2006
We got yer responses right here
Your idea of a homeless reality show has been touched on. A&E has a show called "Random 1" where a team goes out to help people, very often homeless people. They do what they can, clean them up, help find them jobs, or drug problem, or whatever it is they need to give them a leg up. It was on last year, not sure if it's still around.
And think of the pizza delivery tips like this.. a waitress may bring your food from across the room. A pizza delivery guy has to fight traffic (in his own car most times) and arrive in half an hour or less (lest the pizza be free), and has to pay his own car insurance for the privilege. So who deserves the bigger tip? Plus, just what is it worth to you to have the pizza delivered rather than you drive and pick it up yourself? Go for that 20% for the pizza guy.
Aloha, Sam
Yes, Sam, but someone else wrote and said that deliverers earn more than waitresses. Hmmm.
Your idea of a homeless reality show has been touched on. A&E has a show called "Random 1" where a team goes out to help people, very often homeless people. They do what they can, clean them up, help find them jobs, or drug problem, or whatever it is they need to give them a leg up. It was on last year, not sure if it's still around.
And think of the pizza delivery tips like this.. a waitress may bring your food from across the room. A pizza delivery guy has to fight traffic (in his own car most times) and arrive in half an hour or less (lest the pizza be free), and has to pay his own car insurance for the privilege. So who deserves the bigger tip? Plus, just what is it worth to you to have the pizza delivered rather than you drive and pick it up yourself? Go for that 20% for the pizza guy.
Aloha, Sam
Yes, Sam, but someone else wrote and said that deliverers earn more than waitresses. Hmmm.
More random thoughts
1. I think the Sopranos cast is cursed.
2. How much are you supposed to tip food delivery people these days? Is it supposed to be a dollar or two for a pizza, or is it 15-20 percent just like waiters and other folks? Anyone know?
3. It's pretty easy to get sick of your winter clothes by this time of year.
4. Why haven't they done any reality shows with the homeless? Those folks are the ones who really need the boost. I don't mean shows to make fun of them or do "homeless makeovers" like Howard Stern might, but maybe a homeless Real World or something. Obviously it'd be a little different, more like a documentary than comedy, but at least it might break down some stereotypes. Or if I'm being too naive, some other reality show where maybe you give a homeless person a home or money or, who knows. Hey, just throwing it out there.
1. I think the Sopranos cast is cursed.
2. How much are you supposed to tip food delivery people these days? Is it supposed to be a dollar or two for a pizza, or is it 15-20 percent just like waiters and other folks? Anyone know?
3. It's pretty easy to get sick of your winter clothes by this time of year.
4. Why haven't they done any reality shows with the homeless? Those folks are the ones who really need the boost. I don't mean shows to make fun of them or do "homeless makeovers" like Howard Stern might, but maybe a homeless Real World or something. Obviously it'd be a little different, more like a documentary than comedy, but at least it might break down some stereotypes. Or if I'm being too naive, some other reality show where maybe you give a homeless person a home or money or, who knows. Hey, just throwing it out there.
2/19/2006
Random thing #1
Last night I was at a party populated by a lot of nerdy folks, and I mean it in the nicest sense of the word. I actually overheard the following conversation:
GUY1: Did you get my last e-mail?
GUY2: About Aquaman?
Random thing #2
A lot of people asked me when this book that I'm working on is coming out. It's not sold yet. So it depends on if someone buys it after my agent sends it around. That's why you see me revising so much, and asking so many people for their opinions -- if it was already sold, I'd be working with an editor to revise it.
Random thing #3
Is the ability to do the Donald Duck voice genetic?
Last night I was at a party populated by a lot of nerdy folks, and I mean it in the nicest sense of the word. I actually overheard the following conversation:
GUY1: Did you get my last e-mail?
GUY2: About Aquaman?
Random thing #2
A lot of people asked me when this book that I'm working on is coming out. It's not sold yet. So it depends on if someone buys it after my agent sends it around. That's why you see me revising so much, and asking so many people for their opinions -- if it was already sold, I'd be working with an editor to revise it.
Random thing #3
Is the ability to do the Donald Duck voice genetic?
2/18/2006
School daze
Some things that happened when I was in school that couldn't happen today:
1. In high school social studies, our teacher was showing a film. The actual film that was going through the projector started spilling out, all over the floor. We all noticed it and no one wanted to be the one to say something. The teacher didn't notice. Finally he noticed it. Because nobody said anything, he gave us a pop quiz to punish us.
Couldn't happen today; I'm sure they use VCRs.
2. When I had to write my sentences for Spanish class, using different verbs we were learning, I used to put in a lot of jokey threats. If the verb was "to plant," for instance, I'd write, "If you don't give me an A, I will plant you in the ground!!!" At the end of the year, my teacher wrote in my yearbook that she was glad she survived all of my warnings.
I'd probably be questioned by the police today.
3. In eighth grade, we had a fundraiser where you could pay a dollar and the Creative Arts teachers would take a photo of the kid you had a crush on, and slip it to you anonymously.
People are way too paranoid for this today.
There are probably other examples, but those are three off the top of my head. I wonder if kids know what "dittos" are. As I established recently, they still don't always use Spell Check...
Some things that happened when I was in school that couldn't happen today:
1. In high school social studies, our teacher was showing a film. The actual film that was going through the projector started spilling out, all over the floor. We all noticed it and no one wanted to be the one to say something. The teacher didn't notice. Finally he noticed it. Because nobody said anything, he gave us a pop quiz to punish us.
Couldn't happen today; I'm sure they use VCRs.
2. When I had to write my sentences for Spanish class, using different verbs we were learning, I used to put in a lot of jokey threats. If the verb was "to plant," for instance, I'd write, "If you don't give me an A, I will plant you in the ground!!!" At the end of the year, my teacher wrote in my yearbook that she was glad she survived all of my warnings.
I'd probably be questioned by the police today.
3. In eighth grade, we had a fundraiser where you could pay a dollar and the Creative Arts teachers would take a photo of the kid you had a crush on, and slip it to you anonymously.
People are way too paranoid for this today.
There are probably other examples, but those are three off the top of my head. I wonder if kids know what "dittos" are. As I established recently, they still don't always use Spell Check...
2/16/2006
2/15/2006
But what?
I just got this in my daily Publisher's Lunch roundup:
Advertisement
Leaving No BABY animal butts behind! The Book of Baby Animal Butts by Myrsini Stephanides
This one-of-a kind book brings animal and potty humor to new heights, skillfully combining high- and low-brow culture with adorable animal butts and sharp bons mots from wits throughout the ages.
Great for all animal lovers, this fun book features hilarious 4-color photos of some of the cutest and funniest animal behinds around. This one-of-a-kind animal humor book makes a great read for all ages. And what a bargain: just $7.95 for a hardcover with 64 baby animal butts in full color-that's less than 13 cents a butt, plus words!
I just got this in my daily Publisher's Lunch roundup:
Advertisement
Leaving No BABY animal butts behind! The Book of Baby Animal Butts by Myrsini Stephanides
This one-of-a kind book brings animal and potty humor to new heights, skillfully combining high- and low-brow culture with adorable animal butts and sharp bons mots from wits throughout the ages.
Great for all animal lovers, this fun book features hilarious 4-color photos of some of the cutest and funniest animal behinds around. This one-of-a-kind animal humor book makes a great read for all ages. And what a bargain: just $7.95 for a hardcover with 64 baby animal butts in full color-that's less than 13 cents a butt, plus words!
2/14/2006
So nice
I got this e-mail last night:
Subj: Carrie Pilby
Date: 2/13/2006 9:21:08 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: [redacted]
To: lizzner@aol.com
Sent from the Internet
Hi there, I loved reading "Carrie..." Would you ever write another novel, as a sequel? Sincerely, Ranya
It's so sweet that people are still finding Carrie Pilby, almost three years after it came out, and writing to me about it. My website address isn't even in the book, so they actually have to do a search to find it. I'm so glad...
Pigeon update
I went out with some Cheez-Its yesterday morning because it occurred to me that a pigeon who couldn't fly might have no where to go in the snow. I was wondering if he survived and needed food. (Or she; I'm not sure which one).
I didn't see him out there, although about 50 other pigeons appeared to nosh. It's probably harder for them to find food in the snow anyway. I'll check again today. I hope he's ok! Might be time to call the pigeon rehabilitator after all. Last time I saw him, which was about five days ago, his wing was kind of dragging, so I don't think his plan to heal without human help is working.
I got this e-mail last night:
Subj: Carrie Pilby
Date: 2/13/2006 9:21:08 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: [redacted]
To: lizzner@aol.com
Sent from the Internet
Hi there, I loved reading "Carrie..." Would you ever write another novel, as a sequel? Sincerely, Ranya
It's so sweet that people are still finding Carrie Pilby, almost three years after it came out, and writing to me about it. My website address isn't even in the book, so they actually have to do a search to find it. I'm so glad...
Pigeon update
I went out with some Cheez-Its yesterday morning because it occurred to me that a pigeon who couldn't fly might have no where to go in the snow. I was wondering if he survived and needed food. (Or she; I'm not sure which one).
I didn't see him out there, although about 50 other pigeons appeared to nosh. It's probably harder for them to find food in the snow anyway. I'll check again today. I hope he's ok! Might be time to call the pigeon rehabilitator after all. Last time I saw him, which was about five days ago, his wing was kind of dragging, so I don't think his plan to heal without human help is working.
2/13/2006
2/12/2006
2/10/2006
Just when you thought
You don't really think I'm done revising my book, do you?
I keep calling up the file to nip and tuck. It's nice to do that when I no longer need major major changes.
I really really want someone to read it and love it and publish it. So while it's still in my hands, I gotta do my best.
I want it to be emotionally devastating.
I'm waiting for my agent to read it and get back to me to tell me if it's ready to send out. This is out of my hands. You can't harass your agent. They have a lot to do. Maybe she'll read it during this snowy weekend. Or maybe she'll take a month.
It's certainly a lot cleaner than it was, and I cut out the slow parts.
If you are a female reader of my books, by the way, and are willing to read the first, say, 30-50 pages of this and give any reactions or opinions, e-mail me. UPDATE: I have gotten a few responses, so thanks! So as of Saturday evening, I don't need any more test readers. For those who responded, it'll be on the way...Even if you say "I found page 5 dull and skimmed it, but I like page 7, and this paragraph here doesn't strike me as realistic." Every comment is helpful - because my perspective isn't exactly unbiased.
I'm confident in it enough now to ask a few more people to peek. But you must keep it confidential. Thanks!
You don't really think I'm done revising my book, do you?
I keep calling up the file to nip and tuck. It's nice to do that when I no longer need major major changes.
I really really want someone to read it and love it and publish it. So while it's still in my hands, I gotta do my best.
I want it to be emotionally devastating.
I'm waiting for my agent to read it and get back to me to tell me if it's ready to send out. This is out of my hands. You can't harass your agent. They have a lot to do. Maybe she'll read it during this snowy weekend. Or maybe she'll take a month.
It's certainly a lot cleaner than it was, and I cut out the slow parts.
If you are a female reader of my books, by the way, and are willing to read the first, say, 30-50 pages of this and give any reactions or opinions, e-mail me. UPDATE: I have gotten a few responses, so thanks! So as of Saturday evening, I don't need any more test readers. For those who responded, it'll be on the way...Even if you say "I found page 5 dull and skimmed it, but I like page 7, and this paragraph here doesn't strike me as realistic." Every comment is helpful - because my perspective isn't exactly unbiased.
I'm confident in it enough now to ask a few more people to peek. But you must keep it confidential. Thanks!
2/09/2006
Blizzard to hit us Saturday night!?
Accuweather really loves their headlines.
What kids write
I haven't yet written about scoring the Scholastic writing contest entrants last week. I'm not going to say what the entries were about, because I don't want to violate any confidentiality. I will say that all of my fears of technology making things too easy for today's kids are apparently unfounded. Some of them didn't use Spellcheck, or didn't pay careful attention when they were Spellchecking, as there were words like "studder" for stutter in stories. And this was for a contest for which and teachers and parents both had to sign the entry form. I actually think this is a positive thing, because it means the kids were allowed to prepare their entry on their own, and weren't forced into it or overedited by parents and teachers. But it still amazes me that some of them didn't use Spellcheck. I can't imagine there's a word processing program that doesn't have it. Are kids just told not to use it because then they'll never learn how to spell? Or they are just too lazy? That's pretty darn lazy!!
Interstates in Hawaii?
Sam from Hawaii, as well as another reader named Sam (this one's in Astoria) responded.
Sam from Hawaii:
"Short answer to Carls question- There isn't. While all of the interstate freeways on the mainland are refered with the letter I followed by their name (I-80, or I-5).Hawaii's freeways are designated with H (H-1, H-2). So they don't claim to be interstate freeways. But they are in that category because it's federal dollars that paid for it. Although we are hoping to build a bridge between here and LA to make it a true interstate!"
Sam from Astoria quotes Wikipedia:
"While the name implies that these highways cross state lines, many Interstates do not. Rather, it is the system of interstates that connects states. There are interstate highways in Hawaii, funded in the same way as in the other states, but entirely within the populous island of Oahu. They have the designation of H-X, and connect military bases. Similarly, both Alaska and Puerto Rico have public roads that receive funding from the Interstate program, though these routes are not signed as Interstate Highways."
Accuweather really loves their headlines.
What kids write
I haven't yet written about scoring the Scholastic writing contest entrants last week. I'm not going to say what the entries were about, because I don't want to violate any confidentiality. I will say that all of my fears of technology making things too easy for today's kids are apparently unfounded. Some of them didn't use Spellcheck, or didn't pay careful attention when they were Spellchecking, as there were words like "studder" for stutter in stories. And this was for a contest for which and teachers and parents both had to sign the entry form. I actually think this is a positive thing, because it means the kids were allowed to prepare their entry on their own, and weren't forced into it or overedited by parents and teachers. But it still amazes me that some of them didn't use Spellcheck. I can't imagine there's a word processing program that doesn't have it. Are kids just told not to use it because then they'll never learn how to spell? Or they are just too lazy? That's pretty darn lazy!!
Interstates in Hawaii?
Sam from Hawaii, as well as another reader named Sam (this one's in Astoria) responded.
Sam from Hawaii:
"Short answer to Carls question- There isn't. While all of the interstate freeways on the mainland are refered with the letter I followed by their name (I-80, or I-5).Hawaii's freeways are designated with H (H-1, H-2). So they don't claim to be interstate freeways. But they are in that category because it's federal dollars that paid for it. Although we are hoping to build a bridge between here and LA to make it a true interstate!"
Sam from Astoria quotes Wikipedia:
"While the name implies that these highways cross state lines, many Interstates do not. Rather, it is the system of interstates that connects states. There are interstate highways in Hawaii, funded in the same way as in the other states, but entirely within the populous island of Oahu. They have the designation of H-X, and connect military bases. Similarly, both Alaska and Puerto Rico have public roads that receive funding from the Interstate program, though these routes are not signed as Interstate Highways."
2/08/2006
Bows
Well, I posted Sam's question yesterday and my other male readers instantly got jealous.
Geez. Who knew I was so popular.
Carl writes:
Ask Sam from Hawaii
Why there's an interstate highway on the islands!
Michael writes:
Damn that is funny. But what is up with this Love CL? I don’t think that I have ever gotten a Love C.L. I am devastated. Distraught and overcome with sadness. Beside myself with angst. Tormented at the thought that you love another. Besieged with grief. Beset by sorrow. Beleaguered by self doubt. Why oh why can I not have a simple but oh, so wonderful Love CL Fair well cruel world.
Cue the violins.
Well, I posted Sam's question yesterday and my other male readers instantly got jealous.
Geez. Who knew I was so popular.
Carl writes:
Ask Sam from Hawaii
Why there's an interstate highway on the islands!
Michael writes:
Damn that is funny. But what is up with this Love CL? I don’t think that I have ever gotten a Love C.L. I am devastated. Distraught and overcome with sadness. Beside myself with angst. Tormented at the thought that you love another. Besieged with grief. Beset by sorrow. Beleaguered by self doubt. Why oh why can I not have a simple but oh, so wonderful Love CL Fair well cruel world.
Cue the violins.
2/07/2006
All your questions answered!
Reader Sam writes:
"Is it tradition to wrap your book with a bow when dropping off to an agent? Is this an industry wide practice, or is this just a nicety you do for your agent? Should I practice my bow tying to impress an agent should I decide to ever write a novel?" - Sam, from Hawaii
Well, Sam, yes. Yes, it is. The reason so many manuscripts get rejected is because so many beginning writers do not know how to tie a bow. Plus the color coordination of the bow with the address label (note my "robin's egg blue" in yesterday's photo) is also important. Plus, stalkerish leaving it in the hall before 8 a.m. is a nice touch. Do all these things, and you'll slide into print!!
Love,
CL
Reader Sam writes:
"Is it tradition to wrap your book with a bow when dropping off to an agent? Is this an industry wide practice, or is this just a nicety you do for your agent? Should I practice my bow tying to impress an agent should I decide to ever write a novel?" - Sam, from Hawaii
Well, Sam, yes. Yes, it is. The reason so many manuscripts get rejected is because so many beginning writers do not know how to tie a bow. Plus the color coordination of the bow with the address label (note my "robin's egg blue" in yesterday's photo) is also important. Plus, stalkerish leaving it in the hall before 8 a.m. is a nice touch. Do all these things, and you'll slide into print!!
Love,
CL
2/06/2006
2/04/2006
Really really really
I am really really really almost done with the book.
What will I do when I have free time?
So many things. Movies, reading to catch up on...
Then, there is this other book idea I have. ;) It would pour from my fingers if I sat down to write it. But I might save that one for next year. Or a few years from now.
I still will be doing some work on another writing project throughout February, and then I take a break to soak up the coming of spring.
I am really really really almost done with the book.
What will I do when I have free time?
So many things. Movies, reading to catch up on...
Then, there is this other book idea I have. ;) It would pour from my fingers if I sat down to write it. But I might save that one for next year. Or a few years from now.
I still will be doing some work on another writing project throughout February, and then I take a break to soak up the coming of spring.
V-Day
Because Valentine's Day is in a few weeks, I've gone back and forth for over a week on whether to write a V-Day related post. I think I'm probably not going to. All of the different topics I've thought of will just somehow get me in trouble. I don't want them hanging here for months or years, to be read or maybe discovered and by anyone random.
If you say, "Well, you're a wimp," yes, maybe, but if I thought my views were a) original, b) would add anything to the debate, I'd write them. As they are, I'd just be repeating what all the other bloggers write about men and women and who has it easier and harder, and why.
I will say this: Don't blame all men and women, or the next man or woman you meet, for all the problematic ones you've already met.
Anyway, I love reading Sylvia Plath's journals. She analyzes everything so much, but even if she's a literary genius, she had the same thoughts and fears of many women. In analyzing guys she could potentially marry, she writes:
"Dick is out because of innumerable reasons: cut-throat competitiveness, pride, self-love and fear for ego, hereditary liabilities, lack of virginity, short (for me) stockiness -- all of which, although perhaps not obvious on a spot appraisal, would increase the potential of corroding a creative felicitous partnership. Perry I know too well; we take each other for granted; there would be no discovery of personality there. Perhaps, if I had met him as Shirley did, it might have worked."
Pretty funny. Don't you love the "lack of virginity"? Shows the innocence of the times, or Sylvia's hopefulness of innocence, at her age, anyway. Don't be so hard on her about the "short" thing -- she was a pretty tall gal. Her thoughts are choppy like the tide, but haven't many of us thought things like "Maybe if I had met this person at a different time, it might be different"? Although unlikely, I think many of us have had such thoughts.
Because Valentine's Day is in a few weeks, I've gone back and forth for over a week on whether to write a V-Day related post. I think I'm probably not going to. All of the different topics I've thought of will just somehow get me in trouble. I don't want them hanging here for months or years, to be read or maybe discovered and by anyone random.
If you say, "Well, you're a wimp," yes, maybe, but if I thought my views were a) original, b) would add anything to the debate, I'd write them. As they are, I'd just be repeating what all the other bloggers write about men and women and who has it easier and harder, and why.
I will say this: Don't blame all men and women, or the next man or woman you meet, for all the problematic ones you've already met.
Anyway, I love reading Sylvia Plath's journals. She analyzes everything so much, but even if she's a literary genius, she had the same thoughts and fears of many women. In analyzing guys she could potentially marry, she writes:
"Dick is out because of innumerable reasons: cut-throat competitiveness, pride, self-love and fear for ego, hereditary liabilities, lack of virginity, short (for me) stockiness -- all of which, although perhaps not obvious on a spot appraisal, would increase the potential of corroding a creative felicitous partnership. Perry I know too well; we take each other for granted; there would be no discovery of personality there. Perhaps, if I had met him as Shirley did, it might have worked."
Pretty funny. Don't you love the "lack of virginity"? Shows the innocence of the times, or Sylvia's hopefulness of innocence, at her age, anyway. Don't be so hard on her about the "short" thing -- she was a pretty tall gal. Her thoughts are choppy like the tide, but haven't many of us thought things like "Maybe if I had met this person at a different time, it might be different"? Although unlikely, I think many of us have had such thoughts.
2/03/2006
Writing exercise
I thought of a pretty good test to see if my book reads well. I've posted here before about how you lose your perspective after a while. You can't see your book the way a regular reader sees it. And that's probably a good thing, because if you knew how badly it sucked during the first few drafts, you might not pick it up again.
Anyway, I did think of a way to check how it's working -- do a search & replace and change all the characters' names, then read the book.
This gets rid of a lot of the associations you've had, through living and breathing with these characters for a few years. You're only changing the names, but it's a useful exercise. Of course, all common names have associations with them - at least, depending on your experiences. You have to choose a name that at least SEEMS in line with the character. A nerdy kid doesn't have to be Bubba.
Changing other things might work, too. If you have to listen to certain music for your book to work, stop that. Cut the music and see if it still works. Needing certain music is an early, amateur mistake. (More commonly made with screenplays. Although, as I've said before, if you're Tarantino it's okay. Or Paul Thomas Andersen. Or other guys who I'm not enough of a film buff to know about, who infuse their ouerves with song. [The whole idea of music changing the entire mood or tone of a film could be a topic for another day. Thoughtful music is commonly added to a movie involving a teenager if you don't want it to seem like a 'teen flick' - see The Graduate, Tadpole, etc. Try the scene from the Graduate with Dustin Hoffman driving across the bridge in his car, with Huey Lewis' "Power of Love" on, and see how you feel.])
Where was I?
Well, it's 3 a.m. Do you know where your boss is? Maybe standing over your shoulder. Go back to working on your novel -- I mean, go back to work!!! And be thankful that you're not outside, six stories up.
It all comes full circle here at addledwriter.blogspot.com.
I thought of a pretty good test to see if my book reads well. I've posted here before about how you lose your perspective after a while. You can't see your book the way a regular reader sees it. And that's probably a good thing, because if you knew how badly it sucked during the first few drafts, you might not pick it up again.
Anyway, I did think of a way to check how it's working -- do a search & replace and change all the characters' names, then read the book.
This gets rid of a lot of the associations you've had, through living and breathing with these characters for a few years. You're only changing the names, but it's a useful exercise. Of course, all common names have associations with them - at least, depending on your experiences. You have to choose a name that at least SEEMS in line with the character. A nerdy kid doesn't have to be Bubba.
Changing other things might work, too. If you have to listen to certain music for your book to work, stop that. Cut the music and see if it still works. Needing certain music is an early, amateur mistake. (More commonly made with screenplays. Although, as I've said before, if you're Tarantino it's okay. Or Paul Thomas Andersen. Or other guys who I'm not enough of a film buff to know about, who infuse their ouerves with song. [The whole idea of music changing the entire mood or tone of a film could be a topic for another day. Thoughtful music is commonly added to a movie involving a teenager if you don't want it to seem like a 'teen flick' - see The Graduate, Tadpole, etc. Try the scene from the Graduate with Dustin Hoffman driving across the bridge in his car, with Huey Lewis' "Power of Love" on, and see how you feel.])
Where was I?
Well, it's 3 a.m. Do you know where your boss is? Maybe standing over your shoulder. Go back to working on your novel -- I mean, go back to work!!! And be thankful that you're not outside, six stories up.
It all comes full circle here at addledwriter.blogspot.com.
Thankful
In elementary school, one of our teachers gave us one of those half-hearted assignments that they occasionally would give and then completely forget about, leaving you -- as a kid with little time to waste between piano lessons and Girl Scouts -- to feel a bit peeved if you actually did them. This one teacher told us that she wanted us to, for 30 days in a row, keep two lists. One was a list of nice things you did for someone -- one a day -- including giving a simple compliment like "Hey, I like your clogs." (That's my example to infuse this tale with '80s spirit). The other list was a list of things we were thankful for, also one thing each day.
After I started keeping my lists for a few days, I realized that our teacher had dropped the subject and was never going to ask for them. I knew no one was going to bother to do them. But I decided to see if I could keep the lists anyway.
Now, since I was shy, I wasn't exactly going to go up to random kids at school and compliment their parachute pants. However, I did put things on my list of good deeds like helping my mom empty the dishwasher (unsolicited!) or helping my brother with his homework.
The things-to-be-thankful for list was more personally rewarding, because there are so many things we easily forget. I don't remember anything from my old list. But the reason I thought of all of this today was that at work, I edited a story about a guy who was doing construction at some condos in a neighboring town, and he fell off a beam and died. It was only 15 feet up, which is about a story and a half high, but I guess it was the way he fell, or what he fell onto.
If you are reading this at work, it is highly unlikely that you work at a dangerous job. Some of us have never even had to consider working at a job like that in order to make money. I know I should be thankful every day for all the things I have, but it's easy to forget. So among so many other things, I'm thankful that right now, I haven't had ever to work at a dangerous job for the money. Something to feel lucky about.
In elementary school, one of our teachers gave us one of those half-hearted assignments that they occasionally would give and then completely forget about, leaving you -- as a kid with little time to waste between piano lessons and Girl Scouts -- to feel a bit peeved if you actually did them. This one teacher told us that she wanted us to, for 30 days in a row, keep two lists. One was a list of nice things you did for someone -- one a day -- including giving a simple compliment like "Hey, I like your clogs." (That's my example to infuse this tale with '80s spirit). The other list was a list of things we were thankful for, also one thing each day.
After I started keeping my lists for a few days, I realized that our teacher had dropped the subject and was never going to ask for them. I knew no one was going to bother to do them. But I decided to see if I could keep the lists anyway.
Now, since I was shy, I wasn't exactly going to go up to random kids at school and compliment their parachute pants. However, I did put things on my list of good deeds like helping my mom empty the dishwasher (unsolicited!) or helping my brother with his homework.
The things-to-be-thankful for list was more personally rewarding, because there are so many things we easily forget. I don't remember anything from my old list. But the reason I thought of all of this today was that at work, I edited a story about a guy who was doing construction at some condos in a neighboring town, and he fell off a beam and died. It was only 15 feet up, which is about a story and a half high, but I guess it was the way he fell, or what he fell onto.
If you are reading this at work, it is highly unlikely that you work at a dangerous job. Some of us have never even had to consider working at a job like that in order to make money. I know I should be thankful every day for all the things I have, but it's easy to forget. So among so many other things, I'm thankful that right now, I haven't had ever to work at a dangerous job for the money. Something to feel lucky about.
2/02/2006
Talk amongst your Elvises
Sometimes I think of different things to post here, but end up not posting any of them. Oh well. There might be important things going on, but I decide for various reasons not to permanently paint them on this cyber-easel we like to call the internet.
Here are the most UNimportant things I could think of to post tonight:
New beginning
Yes, again I'm writing about how much I've struggled with the first 20 pages of my novel. The rest is fine now, but readers have to GET there. A few months ago, I found an older, more mature version of the start. It was actually better than the current one! Or is it that I hadn't read it in a while, so I had perspective? Hard to say. In any case, I tested it out tonight. It actually works...
(sorry to write about that once again.)
The O.C.
I have watched most of Season 1 of the O.C. Since the DVDs are still in good condition, I'm going to donate them somewhere. Unless that would actually torture people.
I think I like the Sopranos best out of all the shows I've watched seasons of on DVD. The writing is far above anything else on TV, in my own, useless opinion.
My friend, the Anonymous Blogger, said he was "surprised" I would watch the O.C. Humph. What do you think I am, a snob?
Well, it's true that every episode has the same plot:
1. Characters go to swanky party
2. Fistfight breaks out
3. Someone takes off, either drunk or very very upset due to a misunderstanding
4. ALL the other teenage characters take off after that person, despite parental guidance
5. They all return, scared but unharmed, and the parental units scold them for disobeying, but they also lovingly understand that the kids had to go after their friend. Hair-toussling occurs.
The Super Bowl
Is Sunday.
Sometimes I think of different things to post here, but end up not posting any of them. Oh well. There might be important things going on, but I decide for various reasons not to permanently paint them on this cyber-easel we like to call the internet.
Here are the most UNimportant things I could think of to post tonight:
New beginning
Yes, again I'm writing about how much I've struggled with the first 20 pages of my novel. The rest is fine now, but readers have to GET there. A few months ago, I found an older, more mature version of the start. It was actually better than the current one! Or is it that I hadn't read it in a while, so I had perspective? Hard to say. In any case, I tested it out tonight. It actually works...
(sorry to write about that once again.)
The O.C.
I have watched most of Season 1 of the O.C. Since the DVDs are still in good condition, I'm going to donate them somewhere. Unless that would actually torture people.
I think I like the Sopranos best out of all the shows I've watched seasons of on DVD. The writing is far above anything else on TV, in my own, useless opinion.
My friend, the Anonymous Blogger, said he was "surprised" I would watch the O.C. Humph. What do you think I am, a snob?
Well, it's true that every episode has the same plot:
1. Characters go to swanky party
2. Fistfight breaks out
3. Someone takes off, either drunk or very very upset due to a misunderstanding
4. ALL the other teenage characters take off after that person, despite parental guidance
5. They all return, scared but unharmed, and the parental units scold them for disobeying, but they also lovingly understand that the kids had to go after their friend. Hair-toussling occurs.
The Super Bowl
Is Sunday.
2/01/2006
Nothing to say today
Talk amongst your elves.
NOON UPDATE! I just got this letter in response:
Dear Editor:
You say "talk amongst your elves" as if elves were a possession. You are a racist! Elves are NOT possessions and deserve every bit of the freedoms the rest of us enjoy! Elves should not be our slaves, they should be our partners! Liberate your elves, and they will repair your shoes and tend your garden with joy instead of fear!
- Elf Liberation Front (ELF)
My response to their response
Gentlemen: (What, no female elves? Even the Smurfs had an 'ette.) First off, I hope you weren't offended by my putting your letter in green and red. Secondly, what "race" are elves? Thirdly, please respond shortly - I know you're used to that.
Thank you. - Addled Writer
P.S. Yes, someone really did send me that letter. (But I suspect it was not from the real E.L.F.)
Talk amongst your elves.
NOON UPDATE! I just got this letter in response:
Dear Editor:
You say "talk amongst your elves" as if elves were a possession. You are a racist! Elves are NOT possessions and deserve every bit of the freedoms the rest of us enjoy! Elves should not be our slaves, they should be our partners! Liberate your elves, and they will repair your shoes and tend your garden with joy instead of fear!
- Elf Liberation Front (ELF)
My response to their response
Gentlemen: (What, no female elves? Even the Smurfs had an 'ette.) First off, I hope you weren't offended by my putting your letter in green and red. Secondly, what "race" are elves? Thirdly, please respond shortly - I know you're used to that.
Thank you. - Addled Writer
P.S. Yes, someone really did send me that letter. (But I suspect it was not from the real E.L.F.)
1/31/2006
Believe it or not
I just read through the first 100 pages of my novel pretty breezily. It flows a lot better now! It still has one or two kinks near the beginning, but I think I can fix those in the next few days.
I will be done by Monday. Whoo!
This Saturday, I am going to be a judge in the Scholastic Writing Awards at one of their sites in NY all day. I'll be reading student essays and short stories and stuff. I'm curious to see what kids are writing these days.*
*I entered the contest once, in eighth grade, with a true story based on my Lhasa Apso dog, Dexter. Didn't win. (And no I'm not bitter.)
Aha. Now I think I'll go to bed before 2 a.m. for a change.
I just read through the first 100 pages of my novel pretty breezily. It flows a lot better now! It still has one or two kinks near the beginning, but I think I can fix those in the next few days.
I will be done by Monday. Whoo!
This Saturday, I am going to be a judge in the Scholastic Writing Awards at one of their sites in NY all day. I'll be reading student essays and short stories and stuff. I'm curious to see what kids are writing these days.*
*I entered the contest once, in eighth grade, with a true story based on my Lhasa Apso dog, Dexter. Didn't win. (And no I'm not bitter.)
Aha. Now I think I'll go to bed before 2 a.m. for a change.
1/30/2006
Random
Jodi finished her harrowing tale of her first move to california. Whoa. Things really were that bad.
I was actually in the same room as Lockhart Steele on Friday night. He is a real person.
I saw the pigeon with the broken wing yesterday. He seems to be getting stronger!
Sunny morning
Jodi finished her harrowing tale of her first move to california. Whoa. Things really were that bad.
I was actually in the same room as Lockhart Steele on Friday night. He is a real person.
I saw the pigeon with the broken wing yesterday. He seems to be getting stronger!
Sunny morning
1/28/2006
1/27/2006
1/26/2006
A quote about revisions...
Awesomely awesome author Shari Goldhagen notes in this week's Publisher's Weekly:
"It was hard to realize when I was done. I kept working on the manuscript for six months after I finished. I kept thinking it needed other things. I also think for every writer one of the hardest things is to cut something you love and say, 'As much as I like this, it's just not going to work.' "
Awesomely awesome author Shari Goldhagen notes in this week's Publisher's Weekly:
"It was hard to realize when I was done. I kept working on the manuscript for six months after I finished. I kept thinking it needed other things. I also think for every writer one of the hardest things is to cut something you love and say, 'As much as I like this, it's just not going to work.' "
Is your mom hip?
Never mind the dog test. All dogs are smart and cute. Even Sam, the famous ugly dog who just died. Anyway, just for fun, ask your mom who "Puff Daddy" is. It's kind of funny to see what moms say. Mine said, "Sean Diddy Combs? I'm not dumb." I think she deserves 9/10 credit.
Indian Pilby?
(NOTE: "Curry Pilby" was suggested by reader Carl. That's catchy!)
A friend asked me if I'd heard of an author who got a $500,000 advance last year for a book called "How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got In." Here is the author describing it:
“The main character is a girl of Indian descent who’s totally academically driven, and when she senses from a Harvard admissions officer that her personal life wasn’t perhaps well-rounded, Ms. Mehta goes out and does what she thinks ‘regular’ American kids do - get drunk, kiss boys, dance on the table,” Ms. Viswanathan said.
Never mind the dog test. All dogs are smart and cute. Even Sam, the famous ugly dog who just died. Anyway, just for fun, ask your mom who "Puff Daddy" is. It's kind of funny to see what moms say. Mine said, "Sean Diddy Combs? I'm not dumb." I think she deserves 9/10 credit.
Indian Pilby?
(NOTE: "Curry Pilby" was suggested by reader Carl. That's catchy!)
A friend asked me if I'd heard of an author who got a $500,000 advance last year for a book called "How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got In." Here is the author describing it:
“The main character is a girl of Indian descent who’s totally academically driven, and when she senses from a Harvard admissions officer that her personal life wasn’t perhaps well-rounded, Ms. Mehta goes out and does what she thinks ‘regular’ American kids do - get drunk, kiss boys, dance on the table,” Ms. Viswanathan said.
1/25/2006
Is your dog smart?*
Before I went to bed tonight, I decided I'd look at pictures on the internet of cute basset hounds. (Proof positive that I am not a guy.) Anyway, somehow I got led to this test to see how smart your dog is. I really don't condone harassing your poor dog this way, but I still found it kind of funny to read, so here it is. But if your dog is old, please don't put the pooch through these trials. Thank you.
This could inspire a Letterman list...
"And the number one reason you know your dog is smart...you send him to pick up the Post, and he comes back with the Daily News!"
Ba dump.
*Well, of course, but.
Before I went to bed tonight, I decided I'd look at pictures on the internet of cute basset hounds. (Proof positive that I am not a guy.) Anyway, somehow I got led to this test to see how smart your dog is. I really don't condone harassing your poor dog this way, but I still found it kind of funny to read, so here it is. But if your dog is old, please don't put the pooch through these trials. Thank you.
This could inspire a Letterman list...
"And the number one reason you know your dog is smart...you send him to pick up the Post, and he comes back with the Daily News!"
Ba dump.
*Well, of course, but.
1/24/2006
1/23/2006
1/20/2006
The Tarantino rule
If you are scribbling away at a screenplay or manuscript and someone tells you that you can't do such-and-such, it does not usually help your case to say, "But Tarantino did it that way!!"
The response from your critic is generally, "But you're not Quentin Taratino." Is that a fair response? Well, yes and no.
What it really means is that you, as an unknown screenwriter or novelist, have a panoply of obstacles to cross to get someone to even read your full script, and even if it gets read, you can't have anything in the beginning that will further lead to the powers that be rejecting you.
The other thing is, Quentin T. gets to MAKE his movie. So he can show you personally how it works, without all the red tape. You, sitting in your room in your Fruit of the Looms, cannot.
There are exceptions, of course; Kevin Smith's script for "Clerks" was 140 pages, which is 20-40 pages more than the standard for scripts these days (it's about a minute per page), largely because of all of his rapid-fire dialogue. And he was an unknown when he wrote it. But the thing is, he MADE his movie himself. Now, if ol' Silent Bob had sent it to Hollywood without making it, would some agent seen the brilliance and scooped him up for representation? It's hard to tell. But it's likely that the minute they saw something that hefty, they'd leave it near the bottom of their pile (unless they flipped through and saw all the white space).
In fact, when "Clerks" was entered in the festival, it was only one woman sitting in his sparse crowd who saw it and made it a hit. Otherwise it might still be something in his videotape collection to amuse his friends. This woman saw something in it.
All of this leads me to another rule I'm fond of sharing, which is, don't put music into your manuscripts and screenplays. Song tastes are too arbitrary, and 99.9 percent of the time, the person reading your script is not going to feel the same joy that you are via the accompanying music.
But more importantly, beginners tend to listen to certain songs while they set up their scripts and stories, and then they think their story is better when in reality they are enjoying the music. Your script or story should work even if all the music is taken away. If it's lame without the musical accompanyment, then you got a problem. (And yes, I used to do this, too, but I don't anymore.) Let's face it, many of us have dream soundtracks for our oevres, but you're unlikely to get to pick yours...unless you're Tarantino.
There are too many obstacles to overcome when you're an unknown writer. If you feel strongly about bucking the conventional wisdom, go for it! But don't intend to defend it by saying that Quentin got away with it, because his bar was lower than yours is gonna be.
And that's one to grow on. ;)
P.S. Today's entry is most enjoyable if you read it while listening to "Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with yooooou..."
If you are scribbling away at a screenplay or manuscript and someone tells you that you can't do such-and-such, it does not usually help your case to say, "But Tarantino did it that way!!"
The response from your critic is generally, "But you're not Quentin Taratino." Is that a fair response? Well, yes and no.
What it really means is that you, as an unknown screenwriter or novelist, have a panoply of obstacles to cross to get someone to even read your full script, and even if it gets read, you can't have anything in the beginning that will further lead to the powers that be rejecting you.
The other thing is, Quentin T. gets to MAKE his movie. So he can show you personally how it works, without all the red tape. You, sitting in your room in your Fruit of the Looms, cannot.
There are exceptions, of course; Kevin Smith's script for "Clerks" was 140 pages, which is 20-40 pages more than the standard for scripts these days (it's about a minute per page), largely because of all of his rapid-fire dialogue. And he was an unknown when he wrote it. But the thing is, he MADE his movie himself. Now, if ol' Silent Bob had sent it to Hollywood without making it, would some agent seen the brilliance and scooped him up for representation? It's hard to tell. But it's likely that the minute they saw something that hefty, they'd leave it near the bottom of their pile (unless they flipped through and saw all the white space).
In fact, when "Clerks" was entered in the festival, it was only one woman sitting in his sparse crowd who saw it and made it a hit. Otherwise it might still be something in his videotape collection to amuse his friends. This woman saw something in it.
All of this leads me to another rule I'm fond of sharing, which is, don't put music into your manuscripts and screenplays. Song tastes are too arbitrary, and 99.9 percent of the time, the person reading your script is not going to feel the same joy that you are via the accompanying music.
But more importantly, beginners tend to listen to certain songs while they set up their scripts and stories, and then they think their story is better when in reality they are enjoying the music. Your script or story should work even if all the music is taken away. If it's lame without the musical accompanyment, then you got a problem. (And yes, I used to do this, too, but I don't anymore.) Let's face it, many of us have dream soundtracks for our oevres, but you're unlikely to get to pick yours...unless you're Tarantino.
There are too many obstacles to overcome when you're an unknown writer. If you feel strongly about bucking the conventional wisdom, go for it! But don't intend to defend it by saying that Quentin got away with it, because his bar was lower than yours is gonna be.
And that's one to grow on. ;)
P.S. Today's entry is most enjoyable if you read it while listening to "Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with yooooou..."
1/19/2006
Thanks
Thanks for your notes of concern about the pigeon. If I see him there this morning, I will call the Health Dept to see if there's a way to take care of him. I'd feel bad if something bad happened to him. He seems to be taking pretty good care of himself, though. I brought some crackers home from work with me in case I saw him, but he wasn't there. I guess he must live right next to that doorway.
While we're on the subject of animals, yes, I know I was supposed to find out the goat's name and didn't. I haven't been in goat territory for a few months. I will try to find out next time.
Wordplay
Convo at a staff meeting yesterday:
Sales person: I just have to be digilant. (Pause) Did I just say digilant?
Boss: That's the junction between...
Me: It's a combonym!
(Everyone ignores me.)
Book
I think I need a little more time to finish revisions. But not tooo much more. When the spring weather hits, editors will be too distracted to buy it. Deadline approaches. Must work on it every chance I get!
Thanks for your notes of concern about the pigeon. If I see him there this morning, I will call the Health Dept to see if there's a way to take care of him. I'd feel bad if something bad happened to him. He seems to be taking pretty good care of himself, though. I brought some crackers home from work with me in case I saw him, but he wasn't there. I guess he must live right next to that doorway.
While we're on the subject of animals, yes, I know I was supposed to find out the goat's name and didn't. I haven't been in goat territory for a few months. I will try to find out next time.
Wordplay
Convo at a staff meeting yesterday:
Sales person: I just have to be digilant. (Pause) Did I just say digilant?
Boss: That's the junction between...
Me: It's a combonym!
(Everyone ignores me.)
Book
I think I need a little more time to finish revisions. But not tooo much more. When the spring weather hits, editors will be too distracted to buy it. Deadline approaches. Must work on it every chance I get!
1/18/2006
Guess whom I passed on the way to work today
Trivia
Tonight my trivia co-host asked what the longest running show is currently on TV, fictional shows only (not news shows, etc.) When he read out the answer, it was "The Simpsons." But all at once, the crowd of about 60 people was yelling at us, "SOAP OPERAS! SOAP OPERAS! SOAP OPERAS!" nearly in unison. It was nearly a nerd riot!!
Thanks to the person who sent me this:
------------------------------PUMPKIN CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES------------------------------ 1 c. sugar 1 c. pumpkin 1/2 c. oil 1 eggMix together above ingredients. Sift and add to above: 2 c. flour 1/2 tsp. salt 1 tsp. cinnamon 2 tsp. baking powderDissolve and add to rest of ingredients: 1 tsp. soda 1 tsp. milk 1 tsp. vanilla 1 c. chocolate chips 1/2 c. nutsPreheat oven to 375 degrees. Drop on lightly greased cookiesheet. Bake approximately 10 to 12 minutes. NOTE: Carefulnot to overcook. Cookies will be soft and moist.
Trivia
Tonight my trivia co-host asked what the longest running show is currently on TV, fictional shows only (not news shows, etc.) When he read out the answer, it was "The Simpsons." But all at once, the crowd of about 60 people was yelling at us, "SOAP OPERAS! SOAP OPERAS! SOAP OPERAS!" nearly in unison. It was nearly a nerd riot!!
Thanks to the person who sent me this:
------------------------------PUMPKIN CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES------------------------------ 1 c. sugar 1 c. pumpkin 1/2 c. oil 1 eggMix together above ingredients. Sift and add to above: 2 c. flour 1/2 tsp. salt 1 tsp. cinnamon 2 tsp. baking powderDissolve and add to rest of ingredients: 1 tsp. soda 1 tsp. milk 1 tsp. vanilla 1 c. chocolate chips 1/2 c. nutsPreheat oven to 375 degrees. Drop on lightly greased cookiesheet. Bake approximately 10 to 12 minutes. NOTE: Carefulnot to overcook. Cookies will be soft and moist.
1/16/2006
1/15/2006
Novel Beginnings, part III
Maybe I'll write a book about beginnings of books. Anyway, here are two new ones to compare:
1. "I think that everything, or at least the part of everything that happened to me, started with the Roman architecture mix-up. Ancient History was my first class of the day, occurring after morning chapel and roll call, which was not actually roll call but a series of announcements that took place in an enormous room with twenty-foot-high Palladian windows, rows and rows of desks with hinged tops that you lifted to store your books inside, and mahogany panels on the..."
2. "Benjamin Braddock graduated from a small Eastern college on a day in June. Then he flew home. The following evening a party was given for him by his parents. By eight o'clock most of the guests had arrived but Benjamin had not yet come down from his room. His father..."
The first is from the best-seller, Prep, by Curtis Sittenfeld; the second from The Graduate by Charles Webb.
The first represents about one third of the first paragraph of Prep, while the second is very taut, with extremely short sentences (it doesn't even say on a HOT day in June!) and rest of the book is almost written entirely in dialogue. (And yes, it preceded the movie and is not an after-the-fact book.)
Many readers would lack patience to read every word of the first paragraph of Prep, and this is another one that, if I was submitting it to publishers, they'd say there's too much description in the beginning, it's too slow, or too dense...then again, Prep was rejected by about 14 publishers, so that's not a chance I can take with my own by writing a page-long first paragraph. If I was Curtis S, would I have stuck to my guns, or hurriedly cut down the first paragraph to a few lines? Or would it have made a difference? It all depends on my/her agent and whether she thought it was perfect the way it was; she's the one who has to pitch the thing. Making the book more concise might have helped it, or hurt it, or made no difference. There's no way of knowing.
But the second one, the Graduate, has a bigger hurdle to get over; it's in third person. If a book is in first, right away you can be more patient with it, because the narrator is talking directly to you.
My editor for my second novel, Starting from Square Two, at one point asked if I would consider changing it to first person, because she found the character to be "distant." I really didn't want to do that; I didn't want to get in Gert's head, because it was more a book about things that happened to her and how they changed her, and I didn't think hearing her speak would add to it. I also want her to be kind of spoiled and clueless in the beginning, then come to the realization that she had it very easy and had an unrealistic view of life until her husband died. If she'd been in first person, she would have spent the first third of the book saying things that were clueless and ignorant, not insightful, and I didn't think that would help. Better to look at her from the outside and let the reader see that, until Gert learns it herself. But I acceded to part of my editor's wishes and put in more description of her actions, like when she's talking, to make it less distant. (I guess you can say that Carrie Pilby is also obnoxious for a lot of Carrie Pilby until she wises up, but that's different because it's more obvious that she has things to learn, and she's hopefully funny in her obnoxiousness, so even if you dislike her, at least you can laugh with/at her until she figures out she has to be a little less judgmental.)
Anyway, the point is, people like reading first person better. It grabs you a lot more easily. In the end, because Webb's writing is more spare (almost all dialogue), the graduate is a quicker read. And maybe he didn't mean for you to sit with your coffee, mulling the description of the town Benjamin lives in, or the social class issues, or anything else. It's a book about an affair, love, etc. Curtis does get into some class issues, but she's also in first person, so you can be in the character's head.
Anyway, two different approaches and styles. All of which make me think about the approaches and styles I take in my own writing.
Maybe I'll write a book about beginnings of books. Anyway, here are two new ones to compare:
1. "I think that everything, or at least the part of everything that happened to me, started with the Roman architecture mix-up. Ancient History was my first class of the day, occurring after morning chapel and roll call, which was not actually roll call but a series of announcements that took place in an enormous room with twenty-foot-high Palladian windows, rows and rows of desks with hinged tops that you lifted to store your books inside, and mahogany panels on the..."
2. "Benjamin Braddock graduated from a small Eastern college on a day in June. Then he flew home. The following evening a party was given for him by his parents. By eight o'clock most of the guests had arrived but Benjamin had not yet come down from his room. His father..."
The first is from the best-seller, Prep, by Curtis Sittenfeld; the second from The Graduate by Charles Webb.
The first represents about one third of the first paragraph of Prep, while the second is very taut, with extremely short sentences (it doesn't even say on a HOT day in June!) and rest of the book is almost written entirely in dialogue. (And yes, it preceded the movie and is not an after-the-fact book.)
Many readers would lack patience to read every word of the first paragraph of Prep, and this is another one that, if I was submitting it to publishers, they'd say there's too much description in the beginning, it's too slow, or too dense...then again, Prep was rejected by about 14 publishers, so that's not a chance I can take with my own by writing a page-long first paragraph. If I was Curtis S, would I have stuck to my guns, or hurriedly cut down the first paragraph to a few lines? Or would it have made a difference? It all depends on my/her agent and whether she thought it was perfect the way it was; she's the one who has to pitch the thing. Making the book more concise might have helped it, or hurt it, or made no difference. There's no way of knowing.
But the second one, the Graduate, has a bigger hurdle to get over; it's in third person. If a book is in first, right away you can be more patient with it, because the narrator is talking directly to you.
My editor for my second novel, Starting from Square Two, at one point asked if I would consider changing it to first person, because she found the character to be "distant." I really didn't want to do that; I didn't want to get in Gert's head, because it was more a book about things that happened to her and how they changed her, and I didn't think hearing her speak would add to it. I also want her to be kind of spoiled and clueless in the beginning, then come to the realization that she had it very easy and had an unrealistic view of life until her husband died. If she'd been in first person, she would have spent the first third of the book saying things that were clueless and ignorant, not insightful, and I didn't think that would help. Better to look at her from the outside and let the reader see that, until Gert learns it herself. But I acceded to part of my editor's wishes and put in more description of her actions, like when she's talking, to make it less distant. (I guess you can say that Carrie Pilby is also obnoxious for a lot of Carrie Pilby until she wises up, but that's different because it's more obvious that she has things to learn, and she's hopefully funny in her obnoxiousness, so even if you dislike her, at least you can laugh with/at her until she figures out she has to be a little less judgmental.)
Anyway, the point is, people like reading first person better. It grabs you a lot more easily. In the end, because Webb's writing is more spare (almost all dialogue), the graduate is a quicker read. And maybe he didn't mean for you to sit with your coffee, mulling the description of the town Benjamin lives in, or the social class issues, or anything else. It's a book about an affair, love, etc. Curtis does get into some class issues, but she's also in first person, so you can be in the character's head.
Anyway, two different approaches and styles. All of which make me think about the approaches and styles I take in my own writing.
1/14/2006
1/12/2006
Pigeon
On the way to work for the last few days, I saw a pigeon huddled in a corner by the door of a brownstone. It was in the same little area for a few days. I worried that he was sick, but when I approached to throw him part of a bagel I had, I realized he just had a broken wing. He hopped away from me and under a parked car, but I left the bagel pieces in his corner for when he went back. A girl passing me said, "That pigeon's been there for a week. He must have a good hiding place." What do you do when you see a pigeon who is sick or stuck somewhere? You can't bring him to the vet or anything like that. I thought of calling the Health Dept to help him, but I didn't know if that was the right thing to do.
Then, two days ago, I saw another pigeon bringing him food! Anyway, I took some crackers with me yesterday and today on the way to work in case he was still there, but he seems gone. I think this is a good sign. Usually, when they're sick (not just waiting for their wing to heal) they end up dead in the same area they've been hiding in. This one was hopping around, so he may just have moved to a safer location.
Reader response
I don't believe your pigeon story.
It's too good to be true. I think you embellished it.
I do believe it is, in the spirit of the memoir genre, emotionally true, so I guess that's all that really matters.
Fine. I don't have to prove nothin' to youse.
On the way to work for the last few days, I saw a pigeon huddled in a corner by the door of a brownstone. It was in the same little area for a few days. I worried that he was sick, but when I approached to throw him part of a bagel I had, I realized he just had a broken wing. He hopped away from me and under a parked car, but I left the bagel pieces in his corner for when he went back. A girl passing me said, "That pigeon's been there for a week. He must have a good hiding place." What do you do when you see a pigeon who is sick or stuck somewhere? You can't bring him to the vet or anything like that. I thought of calling the Health Dept to help him, but I didn't know if that was the right thing to do.
Then, two days ago, I saw another pigeon bringing him food! Anyway, I took some crackers with me yesterday and today on the way to work in case he was still there, but he seems gone. I think this is a good sign. Usually, when they're sick (not just waiting for their wing to heal) they end up dead in the same area they've been hiding in. This one was hopping around, so he may just have moved to a safer location.
Reader response
I don't believe your pigeon story.
It's too good to be true. I think you embellished it.
I do believe it is, in the spirit of the memoir genre, emotionally true, so I guess that's all that really matters.
Fine. I don't have to prove nothin' to youse.
1/11/2006
Be a playa
Tired of those books that supposedly teach men how to trick women into sleeping with them? Here's a great parody on Blacktable - by a guy who seems to be sick of them, too.
Excerpt: "If you're like me ... you eschew lovely, intelligent women who desire your inner-beauty. Instead, you seek bar trash that validates your twisted vision of what it means to live a fulfilling male existence."
Also, if you want good advice, a woman's on there today giving some.
Any similarity to persons living or dead
Random House is reportedly offering a refund to people who bought James Frey's book.
Tired of those books that supposedly teach men how to trick women into sleeping with them? Here's a great parody on Blacktable - by a guy who seems to be sick of them, too.
Excerpt: "If you're like me ... you eschew lovely, intelligent women who desire your inner-beauty. Instead, you seek bar trash that validates your twisted vision of what it means to live a fulfilling male existence."
Also, if you want good advice, a woman's on there today giving some.
Any similarity to persons living or dead
Random House is reportedly offering a refund to people who bought James Frey's book.
1/10/2006
Suey
Can I be sued if someone at work says "It's hot in here" and I sing, "So take off alllll your clothes"?
The return of
I might put back two small things I took out of the book. It was still good to see what it read like without 'em. ;)
Up in Smoke
The Senate passed a bill today banning smoking in NJ restaurants etc. Hasn't gone into effect yet.
First lines cont'd
"Alleghany County is perched so high up in the hills of western North Carolina that golfers intrepid enough to go up there to play golf call it mountain golf."
That's the first line of Tom Wolfe's "I Am Charlotte Simmons." A good line, but I would have taken out the "golf" in "play golf." We don't really need the word 'golf' three times in one sentence. Other than that, not bad.
In any case, it doesn't matter. He's Tom Wolfe, and he has a battery of people who will help him get his stuff into top publishing form.
Can I be sued if someone at work says "It's hot in here" and I sing, "So take off alllll your clothes"?
The return of
I might put back two small things I took out of the book. It was still good to see what it read like without 'em. ;)
Up in Smoke
The Senate passed a bill today banning smoking in NJ restaurants etc. Hasn't gone into effect yet.
First lines cont'd
"Alleghany County is perched so high up in the hills of western North Carolina that golfers intrepid enough to go up there to play golf call it mountain golf."
That's the first line of Tom Wolfe's "I Am Charlotte Simmons." A good line, but I would have taken out the "golf" in "play golf." We don't really need the word 'golf' three times in one sentence. Other than that, not bad.
In any case, it doesn't matter. He's Tom Wolfe, and he has a battery of people who will help him get his stuff into top publishing form.
1/09/2006
Beginnings
It can take five years to write a book, and a few hours for an editor to decide to reject it.
That's why I struggle so much with every line. I go back and forth for hours on just one sentence or paragraph because it's at the beginning of the book.
Then I take a break, thumb through some other books. Here are a few that are scattered near my desk at the moment. I wonder what kind of critiquing they would get from people in my writing group, or friends:
"To have a reason to get up in the morning, it is necessary to possess a guiding principle. A belief of some kind. A bumper sticker, if you will."
"What Eva would remember later, looking back, were the honey jars, how she was riding her bike down the road, legs churning, hair whipping across her face, not far from home yet..."
"My name is Kathy H. I'm thirty-one years old, and I've been a carer now for eleven years. That sounds long enough, I know, but actually they want me to go on for another eight months, until the end of the year."
"I went back to the Devon School not long ago, and found it looking oddly newer than when I was a student there fifteen years before."
These are, respectively, Ordinary People (Judith Guest), The Honey Thief (Elizabeth Graver), Never Let Me Go (Kazuo Ishiguro), A Separate Peace (John Knowles). I have them near my desk for different purposes (not respectively: reference, pleasure reads, style check). They've all been praised in different ways (either by top literary critics or by the book-buying public). Readers don't focus extensively on every word of those lines. The books did fine.
If I asked all of you which of the above opening lines you liked and which ones didn't please you, you'd all have different opinions. And put aside literary quality; which ones would make you want to read more? I'd probably be most intrigued by the last one. It all depends on personal preference.
But what if I'd written those lines? It's possible that members of my writing group would say: Too dry, too long, too juvenile or simplistic, too quiet...and I'm almost certain that I'd read those lines 100 times and make similar pronouncements myself. From the first one, I probably would end up taking out "if you will," and replacing it with "A bumper sticker or a pin, or maybe a tasteful tattoo." Then I might take out "tasteful tattoo" and change it to "hipster t-shirt," or...
And then there's "What Eva would remember later, looking back..." Do you need "looking back"? Or does that reinforce the timing because early readers of the manuscript were confused? It doesn't hurt to have that phrase in there, but it's not a hundred percent necessary. I'm sure I'd labor over the "looking back" endlessly if I'd written that first line. I'd probably keep it in. Best not to take chances. Readers skip words.
What about the line about "My name is Kathy H." I might change it to "My name is Kathy." It's shorter. But then it sounds a bit like an AA meeting, or a kid speaking. Sure, it tells the narrator's age in the very next line, but tones are set early. Hmmm. How about "My name is Kathy and I'm 31." Or "My name is Katherine Harris, Kathy for short."
So think about me now, laboring over these initial pages for hours, days, weeks, months in my room. Who can I ask for advice on my pages? Writing groups, yes. Friends and fellow writers, yes. If one person doesn't like something, it might not mean much. If everyone says the same things, then I'm getting good perspective.
But most of the time, I can wear out my welcome. There are eight people in my writing group, which meets monthly, and each of us get fifteen minutes. Each of us is crazily revising his or her own magnus opus (dei).
I can also ask friends, cleverly ambush them at lunch: Hey, can you read this ONE line, just one line, and tell me if it seems normal? (And they might look for ten seconds at each and every word in that line, and I might say, 'NO!!! Just read it like if you picked it up at a book store, because that's how any regular reader will read it...but um, at the same time, tell me if any of the words seem awkward or stop you, okay? But still read it like it's normal. Like you don't know me and you just picked it up, okay?') And sometimes I need to specifically ask women, or men, or people who read a lot, or people who don't...
And you can at some point ask your agent, but there are only so many times you can bug your agent (if you're lucky enough to have an agent), and you want to use those rare times for important things (like, "Um, so, have you heard anything on my submissions yet?") You cannot waste your rationed communications on "It's four a.m. and I'm stuck on page 46 and please e-mail me to validate my existence thanks."
The upshot? In the end, it comes down to the writer, writing alone. I want to give this my best shot. I appreciate the patience friends have shown when I've ambushed them with sentences and questions. Or if I've merely just said, "No, I can't come out Sunday; I'm writing" and you thought it was a lame excuse, because I can write any time, and why can't I put the book down for two hours? (Because dammit, it takes an hour of internet procrastination before I hit my groove, and if I have to stop and come out, that's going to take another hour of procrastination and then getting back in the mood, and other things...)
I realize this is a completely selfish job. It's an extremely comfortable job as well. (Or should that be "too"?) As stuck as I might get on a line, I'm not doing eight hours of data entry (like I've done before) or making your Whopper your way. This is usually relaxing work, finally geting to do a data dump of all the ADD-addled crap that came into my head all day when I should have been paying attention to the person talking to me or the assignment I was supposed to be doing. I can focus on a computer screen when I'm writing more than I can focus on almost anything else.
But it still gets a tad lonely, and not in a way that having people around would help (it wouldn't.) I just mean that as much as I care about this, I know that in the big picture, until I get it right and it affects people and adds something to the world, it's just another potentially obscure piece of one person's creativity or art out there. And that's being generous.
Miner issues
Newspaper reporter Derek Rose writes a summary of what it was like to be covering the West Virginia miner tragedy. He's been down there for almost a week now. Worth reading if you have the time.
It can take five years to write a book, and a few hours for an editor to decide to reject it.
That's why I struggle so much with every line. I go back and forth for hours on just one sentence or paragraph because it's at the beginning of the book.
Then I take a break, thumb through some other books. Here are a few that are scattered near my desk at the moment. I wonder what kind of critiquing they would get from people in my writing group, or friends:
"To have a reason to get up in the morning, it is necessary to possess a guiding principle. A belief of some kind. A bumper sticker, if you will."
"What Eva would remember later, looking back, were the honey jars, how she was riding her bike down the road, legs churning, hair whipping across her face, not far from home yet..."
"My name is Kathy H. I'm thirty-one years old, and I've been a carer now for eleven years. That sounds long enough, I know, but actually they want me to go on for another eight months, until the end of the year."
"I went back to the Devon School not long ago, and found it looking oddly newer than when I was a student there fifteen years before."
These are, respectively, Ordinary People (Judith Guest), The Honey Thief (Elizabeth Graver), Never Let Me Go (Kazuo Ishiguro), A Separate Peace (John Knowles). I have them near my desk for different purposes (not respectively: reference, pleasure reads, style check). They've all been praised in different ways (either by top literary critics or by the book-buying public). Readers don't focus extensively on every word of those lines. The books did fine.
If I asked all of you which of the above opening lines you liked and which ones didn't please you, you'd all have different opinions. And put aside literary quality; which ones would make you want to read more? I'd probably be most intrigued by the last one. It all depends on personal preference.
But what if I'd written those lines? It's possible that members of my writing group would say: Too dry, too long, too juvenile or simplistic, too quiet...and I'm almost certain that I'd read those lines 100 times and make similar pronouncements myself. From the first one, I probably would end up taking out "if you will," and replacing it with "A bumper sticker or a pin, or maybe a tasteful tattoo." Then I might take out "tasteful tattoo" and change it to "hipster t-shirt," or...
And then there's "What Eva would remember later, looking back..." Do you need "looking back"? Or does that reinforce the timing because early readers of the manuscript were confused? It doesn't hurt to have that phrase in there, but it's not a hundred percent necessary. I'm sure I'd labor over the "looking back" endlessly if I'd written that first line. I'd probably keep it in. Best not to take chances. Readers skip words.
What about the line about "My name is Kathy H." I might change it to "My name is Kathy." It's shorter. But then it sounds a bit like an AA meeting, or a kid speaking. Sure, it tells the narrator's age in the very next line, but tones are set early. Hmmm. How about "My name is Kathy and I'm 31." Or "My name is Katherine Harris, Kathy for short."
So think about me now, laboring over these initial pages for hours, days, weeks, months in my room. Who can I ask for advice on my pages? Writing groups, yes. Friends and fellow writers, yes. If one person doesn't like something, it might not mean much. If everyone says the same things, then I'm getting good perspective.
But most of the time, I can wear out my welcome. There are eight people in my writing group, which meets monthly, and each of us get fifteen minutes. Each of us is crazily revising his or her own magnus opus (dei).
I can also ask friends, cleverly ambush them at lunch: Hey, can you read this ONE line, just one line, and tell me if it seems normal? (And they might look for ten seconds at each and every word in that line, and I might say, 'NO!!! Just read it like if you picked it up at a book store, because that's how any regular reader will read it...but um, at the same time, tell me if any of the words seem awkward or stop you, okay? But still read it like it's normal. Like you don't know me and you just picked it up, okay?') And sometimes I need to specifically ask women, or men, or people who read a lot, or people who don't...
And you can at some point ask your agent, but there are only so many times you can bug your agent (if you're lucky enough to have an agent), and you want to use those rare times for important things (like, "Um, so, have you heard anything on my submissions yet?") You cannot waste your rationed communications on "It's four a.m. and I'm stuck on page 46 and please e-mail me to validate my existence thanks."
The upshot? In the end, it comes down to the writer, writing alone. I want to give this my best shot. I appreciate the patience friends have shown when I've ambushed them with sentences and questions. Or if I've merely just said, "No, I can't come out Sunday; I'm writing" and you thought it was a lame excuse, because I can write any time, and why can't I put the book down for two hours? (Because dammit, it takes an hour of internet procrastination before I hit my groove, and if I have to stop and come out, that's going to take another hour of procrastination and then getting back in the mood, and other things...)
I realize this is a completely selfish job. It's an extremely comfortable job as well. (Or should that be "too"?) As stuck as I might get on a line, I'm not doing eight hours of data entry (like I've done before) or making your Whopper your way. This is usually relaxing work, finally geting to do a data dump of all the ADD-addled crap that came into my head all day when I should have been paying attention to the person talking to me or the assignment I was supposed to be doing. I can focus on a computer screen when I'm writing more than I can focus on almost anything else.
But it still gets a tad lonely, and not in a way that having people around would help (it wouldn't.) I just mean that as much as I care about this, I know that in the big picture, until I get it right and it affects people and adds something to the world, it's just another potentially obscure piece of one person's creativity or art out there. And that's being generous.
Miner issues
Newspaper reporter Derek Rose writes a summary of what it was like to be covering the West Virginia miner tragedy. He's been down there for almost a week now. Worth reading if you have the time.
1/08/2006
Pilby reader responds after I write back:
"I'm impressed you answered me actually. You know, not jaded by your fame!"
I am. I just don't want the little people to realize it.
Revision tip of the day
Sometimes two characters can be combined into one. That means fewer characters to introduce in the beginning and confuse the reader.
Buh-bye!
"I'm impressed you answered me actually. You know, not jaded by your fame!"
I am. I just don't want the little people to realize it.
Revision tip of the day
Sometimes two characters can be combined into one. That means fewer characters to introduce in the beginning and confuse the reader.
Buh-bye!
1/07/2006
Mean junk mail subject head of the day
Shy To Fcuk With ur Short Gun? Bigger 2" Instantly quickly
Some journalist out there should (or maybe someone has) see if this type of marketing actually works...
Nice e-mail of the day
I am a huge fan of your writing. I am sure you have already received emails from 1,357 people already saying how "they ARE Carrie Pilby"...
Can't post more 'cause I didn't get the reader's permission. I have gotten a few e-mails from people who say they 'were' her, but it's not up to 1,357 yet.
Invitation
Some folks and I are going to watch the Giants playoffs Sunday at a bar in NYC. I keep realizing there were people I know whom I forgot to invite. If you want to stop by and cheer, e-mail me and I'll tell ya where. And yes, I know this interferes with my plan to hibernate, but it's a rare event.
Literary news
The on-line journal Black Table is ceasing to exist in a month. I imagine the editors, working for free, just don't have time to work for free any more. Fare thee well!
Revise, revise, revise
Got home from work yesterday, slept three hours, then revised until 4 a.m.....
I want to prune out any dead lines in the book and make it the emotionally-charged novel it should be.
Shy To Fcuk With ur Short Gun? Bigger 2" Instantly quickly
Some journalist out there should (or maybe someone has) see if this type of marketing actually works...
Nice e-mail of the day
I am a huge fan of your writing. I am sure you have already received emails from 1,357 people already saying how "they ARE Carrie Pilby"...
Can't post more 'cause I didn't get the reader's permission. I have gotten a few e-mails from people who say they 'were' her, but it's not up to 1,357 yet.
Invitation
Some folks and I are going to watch the Giants playoffs Sunday at a bar in NYC. I keep realizing there were people I know whom I forgot to invite. If you want to stop by and cheer, e-mail me and I'll tell ya where. And yes, I know this interferes with my plan to hibernate, but it's a rare event.
Literary news
The on-line journal Black Table is ceasing to exist in a month. I imagine the editors, working for free, just don't have time to work for free any more. Fare thee well!
Revise, revise, revise
Got home from work yesterday, slept three hours, then revised until 4 a.m.....
I want to prune out any dead lines in the book and make it the emotionally-charged novel it should be.
1/06/2006
1/05/2006
Californiiiiiaaaaa....
Even if you don't live there, you can get a report on the freeway scent in Jodi's blog today.
Even if you don't live there, you can get a report on the freeway scent in Jodi's blog today.
Music
I don't think I've ever recommended a song on here before, because musical tastes are so different and it's often useless. But I'm very impressed by pianoman Ben Folds' melodic (and funny by nature) rendition of a rap song, the Dr. Dre/Snoop Dogg ouevre "Bitches Ain't Sh*t." Ben Folds turned it into a piano song, and it's fun to listen to, plus it's actually a pleasant song. Check out a sample on iTunes. Even a certain friend of mine who says he only likes Weird Al would find it amusing.
If you listen to it and like it, e-mail me and let me know.
UPDATE: Someone e-mailed to tell me he looked up the words, and they're awful. I KNOW; that's what makes the Ben Folds rendition funny -- he took a song full of curse words and sings them seriously to this beautiful piano music, as if he's singing something romantic.
I didn't want you to think I'm profane.
I don't think I've ever recommended a song on here before, because musical tastes are so different and it's often useless. But I'm very impressed by pianoman Ben Folds' melodic (and funny by nature) rendition of a rap song, the Dr. Dre/Snoop Dogg ouevre "Bitches Ain't Sh*t." Ben Folds turned it into a piano song, and it's fun to listen to, plus it's actually a pleasant song. Check out a sample on iTunes. Even a certain friend of mine who says he only likes Weird Al would find it amusing.
If you listen to it and like it, e-mail me and let me know.
UPDATE: Someone e-mailed to tell me he looked up the words, and they're awful. I KNOW; that's what makes the Ben Folds rendition funny -- he took a song full of curse words and sings them seriously to this beautiful piano music, as if he's singing something romantic.
I didn't want you to think I'm profane.
1/04/2006
Cracklist
I'm complaining about restaurant snobbery today on the black list:
http://www.blacktable.com/blacklist060104.htm
I'm complaining about restaurant snobbery today on the black list:
http://www.blacktable.com/blacklist060104.htm
1/03/2006
REJECT!
No, I don't mean me. Some reporters for the TIMES of London took two novels that had won major literary prizes in the 1970s, submitted them to current agents and editors as if they were from an aspiring author, and were largely rejected.
Is anyone really surprised? As always, it's a matter of taste. STORY HERE.
And speaking of writing...
It's worth reading Lauren Barnholdt's summary of her year in writing today (and not 'cause she mentions me): http://www.livejournal.com/users/laurenbarnholdt/ . As she notes, she went from full-scale rejection to selling three other books in a matter of months...
Fugue
Another morning that I'm awake at 4 a.m. after revising the novel for many hours and not wanting to sleep until I left it at a good place.
I just want to get it done. But it's not that simple.
It has to be the best it can, and there's no excuse for it not to be.
By the way, I didn't really drink champagne yesterday; I was just harking back to my German calendar entry for humorous purposes.
No, I don't mean me. Some reporters for the TIMES of London took two novels that had won major literary prizes in the 1970s, submitted them to current agents and editors as if they were from an aspiring author, and were largely rejected.
Is anyone really surprised? As always, it's a matter of taste. STORY HERE.
And speaking of writing...
It's worth reading Lauren Barnholdt's summary of her year in writing today (and not 'cause she mentions me): http://www.livejournal.com/users/laurenbarnholdt/ . As she notes, she went from full-scale rejection to selling three other books in a matter of months...
Fugue
Another morning that I'm awake at 4 a.m. after revising the novel for many hours and not wanting to sleep until I left it at a good place.
I just want to get it done. But it's not that simple.
It has to be the best it can, and there's no excuse for it not to be.
By the way, I didn't really drink champagne yesterday; I was just harking back to my German calendar entry for humorous purposes.
1/02/2006
1/01/2006
12/31/2005
Health post followup
[NOTE: For any new readers, this blog is generally dedicated to the weirdness of the world, as well as my writing schedule, but sometimes we get onto other things. Like baby carrots.]
A reader writes:
I tried the baby carrots a couple of years ago. Too much of a good thing is possible. I ate about 14 every day throughout the day at work. Trouble is that everything I like is full of vitamin A, cantaloupe, spinach, prunes, etc. On top of that I was taking a multivitamin every day. I ended up with an overdose. It's a fat soluble vitamin and excess amounts are stored in the liver.
I had what felt like palpitations. I was alone that night and when I went to sleep I was fearful that I'd never wake up. Clearly I did. Anyway I changed my habits. I read that it takes about 3 months to clear out the liver.
[NOTE: For any new readers, this blog is generally dedicated to the weirdness of the world, as well as my writing schedule, but sometimes we get onto other things. Like baby carrots.]
A reader writes:
I tried the baby carrots a couple of years ago. Too much of a good thing is possible. I ate about 14 every day throughout the day at work. Trouble is that everything I like is full of vitamin A, cantaloupe, spinach, prunes, etc. On top of that I was taking a multivitamin every day. I ended up with an overdose. It's a fat soluble vitamin and excess amounts are stored in the liver.
I had what felt like palpitations. I was alone that night and when I went to sleep I was fearful that I'd never wake up. Clearly I did. Anyway I changed my habits. I read that it takes about 3 months to clear out the liver.
12/30/2005
A friend writes:
"Why did the media stop demanding a death toll in Katrina? Why did the government stop searching the attics? Why was it so easy for us, after a week of horror, to put it aside for the next piddling story just because the next hurricane came and uneventfully went? Why the f--- doesn’t anyone care?"
Hmmm, but usually people harp on the media for exaggerating, sensationalizing and focusing on tragedies. Guess people are starting to understand why...
"Why did the media stop demanding a death toll in Katrina? Why did the government stop searching the attics? Why was it so easy for us, after a week of horror, to put it aside for the next piddling story just because the next hurricane came and uneventfully went? Why the f--- doesn’t anyone care?"
Hmmm, but usually people harp on the media for exaggerating, sensationalizing and focusing on tragedies. Guess people are starting to understand why...
My post is working already...
This morning I got an e-mail from an acquaintance, and a .JPG was attached. The e-mail said:
C: Please help me with this issue. Is she wearing a Timex or a more expensive watch? I can’t quite see what the brand is.
I e-mailed him back and said, "Is this a snow penis? Did you read my post?"
He e-mailed back: "I must have missed the post. I just want to know whether it's a Timex."
So I e-mailed him my blog post of a few days ago. He sent this back:
O.K. thanks got it. It was a picture of a babe with really big boobs. She just happens to be wearing a watch. I thought that it was funny. I expected that you would reply by saying something like, yes it's a Timex and simply ignore the fact that she has huge boobs. Oh well. Yes I agree that it would not be good to have it on a worplace computer.
Secrets of dieting
Few blogs are being updated today, so I might as well contribute something instead of whining about it.
Here's a secret weight loss tip for the new year.
Bring things to nosh on at work that are low in calories. Right now, I'm eating baby carrots. They'll make me full 'til at least lunch, and satisfy my need to chomp.
I've also discovered the fun of virgin Maries. Get some tomato juice (like 50 cal a glass). Pour a bunch of coarse ground black pepper at work, a dash of Worcester and Tobasco, and voila (or wah-la, as one of my reporters once wrote), a lil' cocktail to sip on. Yes, I keep the ingredients at work.
Fresh peas are a delicious snack in the summer, harder to find in the winter. I also keep apples around, nice soft Macintoshes. I'm not much of a fan of hard apples.
That said, I'm probably eating pizza for dinner tonight while I revise my book, just because it's a madcap revising weekend. So...at least I'll have a little room to grow.
This morning I got an e-mail from an acquaintance, and a .JPG was attached. The e-mail said:
C: Please help me with this issue. Is she wearing a Timex or a more expensive watch? I can’t quite see what the brand is.
I e-mailed him back and said, "Is this a snow penis? Did you read my post?"
He e-mailed back: "I must have missed the post. I just want to know whether it's a Timex."
So I e-mailed him my blog post of a few days ago. He sent this back:
O.K. thanks got it. It was a picture of a babe with really big boobs. She just happens to be wearing a watch. I thought that it was funny. I expected that you would reply by saying something like, yes it's a Timex and simply ignore the fact that she has huge boobs. Oh well. Yes I agree that it would not be good to have it on a worplace computer.
Secrets of dieting
Few blogs are being updated today, so I might as well contribute something instead of whining about it.
Here's a secret weight loss tip for the new year.
Bring things to nosh on at work that are low in calories. Right now, I'm eating baby carrots. They'll make me full 'til at least lunch, and satisfy my need to chomp.
I've also discovered the fun of virgin Maries. Get some tomato juice (like 50 cal a glass). Pour a bunch of coarse ground black pepper at work, a dash of Worcester and Tobasco, and voila (or wah-la, as one of my reporters once wrote), a lil' cocktail to sip on. Yes, I keep the ingredients at work.
Fresh peas are a delicious snack in the summer, harder to find in the winter. I also keep apples around, nice soft Macintoshes. I'm not much of a fan of hard apples.
That said, I'm probably eating pizza for dinner tonight while I revise my book, just because it's a madcap revising weekend. So...at least I'll have a little room to grow.
12/29/2005
Frohes neues Jahr!
I have a German phrase-a-day calendar for the new year. Phrases for the first week include:
Jan 1: Frohes neues Jahr! (Happy new year!)
Jan. 2: Ich habe zu viel Champagner getrunken! (I drank too much champagne!)
Jan. 4: Eine Frau braucht ein kleines schwarzes. (A woman needs a little black dress.)
Jan. 5: Benimm dich deinem Alter entsprechend! (Act your age!)
What's up with that?!
I have a German phrase-a-day calendar for the new year. Phrases for the first week include:
Jan 1: Frohes neues Jahr! (Happy new year!)
Jan. 2: Ich habe zu viel Champagner getrunken! (I drank too much champagne!)
Jan. 4: Eine Frau braucht ein kleines schwarzes. (A woman needs a little black dress.)
Jan. 5: Benimm dich deinem Alter entsprechend! (Act your age!)
What's up with that?!
12/27/2005
Gimmie one reason
Another reason to stay in during my writing/hibernation period is this: when writing, My schedule has to be fluid...for instance, one day I was on a roll and stayed up until 3 a.m. writing, then slept late the next day, then woke to do more work, then took another nap from 4-8, etc. During those long periods, having to stop what I'm doing and get ready to go somewhere, that'd mess things up. I don't even like knowing I'm going to stop at a certain time, or wake up at a certain time.
Again, maybe if I was writing full-time this would change, but I have to take my few free days and make them count.
Mean junkmail subject head of the day
COME ON LITTLE-D1CK, SPEND 60 BUCKS TO INCREASE 3" stay
Another reason to stay in during my writing/hibernation period is this: when writing, My schedule has to be fluid...for instance, one day I was on a roll and stayed up until 3 a.m. writing, then slept late the next day, then woke to do more work, then took another nap from 4-8, etc. During those long periods, having to stop what I'm doing and get ready to go somewhere, that'd mess things up. I don't even like knowing I'm going to stop at a certain time, or wake up at a certain time.
Again, maybe if I was writing full-time this would change, but I have to take my few free days and make them count.
Mean junkmail subject head of the day
COME ON LITTLE-D1CK, SPEND 60 BUCKS TO INCREASE 3" stay
12/26/2005
Blog
My friend Jodi is an excellent writer, and finally started a blog.
A request
Sometimes people think they're doing me a favor by sending a funny photo that takes four minutes to download, a funny cartoon that takes four minutes to download, or worse. And they try to be coy by saying nothing in the e-mail about what it's about, so I don't know if it's important or not. They take time to download, and time to look at and time to delete. If you are one of those people that sends me one every other day, I appreciate your thinking of me, but please resist a bit. If you do it once in a while, I will trust your taste, but in the two seconds it takes you to send it to me with nothing in the e-mail other than "Look at this! It's really funny!," and then I save it at work and open it up and it's a picture of some kids building a snow-penis, I do not appreciate it.
From now on, I'm going to take the same two seconds back to write, "Hey, that was funny! Thanks!" because I am a polite, kind person. You'll never know if I opened it, and I won't know if it was actually something important (like a missing poster of my long-lost sister), but how about STOP BEING SO COY and actually say in the e-mail what it is that I am going to be downloading, if it's important? I know it kinda ruins the joke. If it's that original a joke, send it, but otherwise use some discretion.
If it's important, please tell me that it's important. If it's Frosty the Snow Tool, please stifle yourself. I don't want frozen genitals on my work computer.
Update
Okay, I guess I came off as kind of mean up there. I'm sorry. I'm glad any of you talk to me, and are kind enough to send me icy putzes. I just get behind on opening them. So please wait for the really really big ones. Thanks.
My friend Jodi is an excellent writer, and finally started a blog.
A request
Sometimes people think they're doing me a favor by sending a funny photo that takes four minutes to download, a funny cartoon that takes four minutes to download, or worse. And they try to be coy by saying nothing in the e-mail about what it's about, so I don't know if it's important or not. They take time to download, and time to look at and time to delete. If you are one of those people that sends me one every other day, I appreciate your thinking of me, but please resist a bit. If you do it once in a while, I will trust your taste, but in the two seconds it takes you to send it to me with nothing in the e-mail other than "Look at this! It's really funny!," and then I save it at work and open it up and it's a picture of some kids building a snow-penis, I do not appreciate it.
From now on, I'm going to take the same two seconds back to write, "Hey, that was funny! Thanks!" because I am a polite, kind person. You'll never know if I opened it, and I won't know if it was actually something important (like a missing poster of my long-lost sister), but how about STOP BEING SO COY and actually say in the e-mail what it is that I am going to be downloading, if it's important? I know it kinda ruins the joke. If it's that original a joke, send it, but otherwise use some discretion.
If it's important, please tell me that it's important. If it's Frosty the Snow Tool, please stifle yourself. I don't want frozen genitals on my work computer.
Update
Okay, I guess I came off as kind of mean up there. I'm sorry. I'm glad any of you talk to me, and are kind enough to send me icy putzes. I just get behind on opening them. So please wait for the really really big ones. Thanks.
12/25/2005
Update
I just caught up on about 60 e-mails. I'd responded to them all at one point but hoped to respond more when I had time. Sometimes they just pile up while I'm at work.
When I started the novel that I've been working on for five years, it was a pretty original idea. However, each week makes it a little less likely to be original.
Luckily, it's pretty detailed and doesn't just rely on gimmicks and stuff, but it's all the more reason that it has to get done by Feb. 15.
Random
I had a delightful Xmas eve dinner of sushi with a few friends, down the street from me. My new sushi discovery is seaweed salad, which is really sort of spaghetti-thin strands bathed in sweet sesame sauce and it isn't anything like seaweed. Probably isn't very diet-friendly, either, but quite tasty.
Still working on my writing. It's now or never. Self-imposed deadline: Mid-February.
I watched the first season of Desperate Housewives on DVD. I think the per capita murder rate on Wisteria Lane is higher than in New York.
The gas man came and adjusted my heater. He told me he graduated from high school with Kevin Smith. Since I have a worry-free contract, the adjustment AND the Kevin Smith stories were FREE!
I just caught up on about 60 e-mails. I'd responded to them all at one point but hoped to respond more when I had time. Sometimes they just pile up while I'm at work.
When I started the novel that I've been working on for five years, it was a pretty original idea. However, each week makes it a little less likely to be original.
Luckily, it's pretty detailed and doesn't just rely on gimmicks and stuff, but it's all the more reason that it has to get done by Feb. 15.
Random
I had a delightful Xmas eve dinner of sushi with a few friends, down the street from me. My new sushi discovery is seaweed salad, which is really sort of spaghetti-thin strands bathed in sweet sesame sauce and it isn't anything like seaweed. Probably isn't very diet-friendly, either, but quite tasty.
Still working on my writing. It's now or never. Self-imposed deadline: Mid-February.
I watched the first season of Desperate Housewives on DVD. I think the per capita murder rate on Wisteria Lane is higher than in New York.
The gas man came and adjusted my heater. He told me he graduated from high school with Kevin Smith. Since I have a worry-free contract, the adjustment AND the Kevin Smith stories were FREE!
12/23/2005
Happy holidays
And thanks for reading.
There's a short story I've made notes for over the last two years but never just sat down and pulled it all together.
This morning I got up with the express purpose of writing it, or a lot of it. I'd thought of some good twists last night and was inspired. So I wrote it today -- 26 pages! Just a first draft, because there will be blanks to fill in, and I'm sure things to change. I will put it aside a bit, then revise it someday. It feels good to have finally gotten it out. Whew.
And thanks for reading.
There's a short story I've made notes for over the last two years but never just sat down and pulled it all together.
This morning I got up with the express purpose of writing it, or a lot of it. I'd thought of some good twists last night and was inspired. So I wrote it today -- 26 pages! Just a first draft, because there will be blanks to fill in, and I'm sure things to change. I will put it aside a bit, then revise it someday. It feels good to have finally gotten it out. Whew.
12/22/2005
Hooked on phonics did not work for the MTA.
23rd Street station
Read about Val's five-mile walk to work.
I don't know what everyone's so upset about. Yesterday, after work, I hopped on the PATH train to 23rd Street, walked a block to Monster Sushi, and enjoyed a delicious Dragon Roll. Mmmm-hmmm. But that one-block walk in New York was cooooold.
23rd Street station
Read about Val's five-mile walk to work.
I don't know what everyone's so upset about. Yesterday, after work, I hopped on the PATH train to 23rd Street, walked a block to Monster Sushi, and enjoyed a delicious Dragon Roll. Mmmm-hmmm. But that one-block walk in New York was cooooold.
12/20/2005
Transit strike
So I hear that across the river, there's a transit strike and a lot of N'Yorkers can't get to work. WALK IT, YOU SISSIES. Walk those 30 blocks from the Upper East Side to midtown in the cold. You pick on me for living in Jersey, but our ferries, trains and buses to the Big Apple are still running, so walk and we'll meet ya there.
UPDATE: Read all about Phil's commute.
So I hear that across the river, there's a transit strike and a lot of N'Yorkers can't get to work. WALK IT, YOU SISSIES. Walk those 30 blocks from the Upper East Side to midtown in the cold. You pick on me for living in Jersey, but our ferries, trains and buses to the Big Apple are still running, so walk and we'll meet ya there.
UPDATE: Read all about Phil's commute.
12/19/2005
Ego-Googling
Yesterday there was a story in the New York Times Book Review about how writers can use special blog search engines to find out what bloggers are saying about their books. So, you know what I had to do today.
I used the Google blog search engine and read some delightful compliments. One girl wrote:
"I usually hate Red Dress Ink books, but my writing teacher says it's the only good one."
Hahaha! Well, there are some other good ones, but hopefully your teacher will assign it.
To writers
I'm on a chick lit loop, and one writer just sold her book and posted this:
And I have to add, to everyone getting rejections and feeling discouraged right now, don't give up! My "practice" novel got 60+ agent rejections. There were many times that I felt I'd never get published. But I kept writing, and here I am! Take care everyone!
So there you have it. I imagine she did a lot of revising over that time. No one sends to 60 agents at once, nor 60 editors...ever. The first few give you feedback and you do more work. It's a process.
Yesterday there was a story in the New York Times Book Review about how writers can use special blog search engines to find out what bloggers are saying about their books. So, you know what I had to do today.
I used the Google blog search engine and read some delightful compliments. One girl wrote:
"I usually hate Red Dress Ink books, but my writing teacher says it's the only good one."
Hahaha! Well, there are some other good ones, but hopefully your teacher will assign it.
To writers
I'm on a chick lit loop, and one writer just sold her book and posted this:
And I have to add, to everyone getting rejections and feeling discouraged right now, don't give up! My "practice" novel got 60+ agent rejections. There were many times that I felt I'd never get published. But I kept writing, and here I am! Take care everyone!
So there you have it. I imagine she did a lot of revising over that time. No one sends to 60 agents at once, nor 60 editors...ever. The first few give you feedback and you do more work. It's a process.
12/16/2005
12/15/2005
Picture THIS!
Why is it that otherwise reasonable friends of mine think it's a good thing to tell me they dislike my author photos? First off, they were selected by showing them to a lot of people, and those were the ones that came out best. Some people really liked them. Some did not. Photos, and a person's appearance in general, strike everyone differently. That's why some people think you look like a certain actress, and other people can't see it at all. It's also part of why some people are more attracted to you than others. If my author photo is already on my book by the time you've seen it, that means it's on at least 30,000 copies. Telling me how ugly it is when it's already there does me no good. If you can't think of something nice to say...
The odd thing is that people tell me I look "too serious." Author photos are usually thoughtful or serious; they're not modeling portraits. Look at Melissa Bank's photo for the Wonder Spot. This is a perfectly good author photo. If you stare at it a while, of course, she looks angry. And she is not smiling. But it's a typical author photo.
A few people have told me I looked angry in one or the other of my photos. I really wasn't, but thanks for notifying me. Other people think I look like I'm smiling (which I was in at least one), and some just see them as neutral (which they are).
So get off my back!!!
Why is it that otherwise reasonable friends of mine think it's a good thing to tell me they dislike my author photos? First off, they were selected by showing them to a lot of people, and those were the ones that came out best. Some people really liked them. Some did not. Photos, and a person's appearance in general, strike everyone differently. That's why some people think you look like a certain actress, and other people can't see it at all. It's also part of why some people are more attracted to you than others. If my author photo is already on my book by the time you've seen it, that means it's on at least 30,000 copies. Telling me how ugly it is when it's already there does me no good. If you can't think of something nice to say...
The odd thing is that people tell me I look "too serious." Author photos are usually thoughtful or serious; they're not modeling portraits. Look at Melissa Bank's photo for the Wonder Spot. This is a perfectly good author photo. If you stare at it a while, of course, she looks angry. And she is not smiling. But it's a typical author photo.
A few people have told me I looked angry in one or the other of my photos. I really wasn't, but thanks for notifying me. Other people think I look like I'm smiling (which I was in at least one), and some just see them as neutral (which they are).
So get off my back!!!
12/14/2005
12/10/2005
Generations
I am scared of getting old, and equally scared of my generation getting old. When I was a kid, my brother and I and cousin would be in our great-aunt's house listening to our relatives talk about the '50s, referencing early TV shows and commercials like "I can't believe I ate the whole thing." The fifties were what I considered the Old Days.
I don't think I can come to terms with MY childhood being the Old Days. I hate it when someone reminds me that the mid-'80s were twenty years ago. I know that some day, I'll tell my kids about how I grew up with only three TV networks, and it used to take our television a minute to "warm up." But I still want the fifties to be the Old Days.
There was a line in the Wonder Spot in which the main character notes that her mother once told her that when she was young, girls used to say, "We don't smoke and we don't chew, and we don't go with boys who do." That cracks me up. That's something people would have said back in the Old Days, and that my own mother would have told me about.
There was no equivalent in my generation. And I doubt there's an equivalent now, except maybe "Use a condom."
Anyhoo, I'm getting off track. Sometimes I co-host trivia, and if there's a song from the '70s or '80s in the audio round, some early Gen Y twentysomething in the audience will say, "Oh, that was in Shrek." My half-sister's favorite movie is "Moulin Rouge," and I can guess why - it was probably her first time hearing those David Bowie and Elton John songs. That'd blow me away if I didn't know those tunes already, too.
Anyway, my point is, my childhood is slowly becoming a thing of lore, like the '50s. I hope it doesn't happen too soon. Were the '80s innocent, like the '50s always seeeeem to be? Yes and know. Honestly, I remember them as a wonderful time, even though my family life was a mess and I got picked on at school. I still managed to keep my nose in Mad Magazine and my ears on American Top 40. I don't know if I can admit that those things are old-fashioned. Well, maybe when I'm fifty I will.
For now, let's let the '50s stay the Old Days, and the '80s seem like Just Yesterday.
I am scared of getting old, and equally scared of my generation getting old. When I was a kid, my brother and I and cousin would be in our great-aunt's house listening to our relatives talk about the '50s, referencing early TV shows and commercials like "I can't believe I ate the whole thing." The fifties were what I considered the Old Days.
I don't think I can come to terms with MY childhood being the Old Days. I hate it when someone reminds me that the mid-'80s were twenty years ago. I know that some day, I'll tell my kids about how I grew up with only three TV networks, and it used to take our television a minute to "warm up." But I still want the fifties to be the Old Days.
There was a line in the Wonder Spot in which the main character notes that her mother once told her that when she was young, girls used to say, "We don't smoke and we don't chew, and we don't go with boys who do." That cracks me up. That's something people would have said back in the Old Days, and that my own mother would have told me about.
There was no equivalent in my generation. And I doubt there's an equivalent now, except maybe "Use a condom."
Anyhoo, I'm getting off track. Sometimes I co-host trivia, and if there's a song from the '70s or '80s in the audio round, some early Gen Y twentysomething in the audience will say, "Oh, that was in Shrek." My half-sister's favorite movie is "Moulin Rouge," and I can guess why - it was probably her first time hearing those David Bowie and Elton John songs. That'd blow me away if I didn't know those tunes already, too.
Anyway, my point is, my childhood is slowly becoming a thing of lore, like the '50s. I hope it doesn't happen too soon. Were the '80s innocent, like the '50s always seeeeem to be? Yes and know. Honestly, I remember them as a wonderful time, even though my family life was a mess and I got picked on at school. I still managed to keep my nose in Mad Magazine and my ears on American Top 40. I don't know if I can admit that those things are old-fashioned. Well, maybe when I'm fifty I will.
For now, let's let the '50s stay the Old Days, and the '80s seem like Just Yesterday.
Staying in
Some have doubted my vow to hibernate this winter. Well, of course I leave my house once in a while, but I really am making my best effort to avoid doing it every night. It's easier to write when I don't have to wake up or leave work knowing I have to rush somewhere else right away. It's getting darker earlier. And it's cold out.
I made major writing progress yesterday and today. I have a new project to finish by March.
Some have doubted my vow to hibernate this winter. Well, of course I leave my house once in a while, but I really am making my best effort to avoid doing it every night. It's easier to write when I don't have to wake up or leave work knowing I have to rush somewhere else right away. It's getting darker earlier. And it's cold out.
I made major writing progress yesterday and today. I have a new project to finish by March.
12/09/2005
The Wonder Spot
I started reading Melissa Bank's 'The Wonder Spot' and now I want to stay up and finish it. It's 2:16 a.m., though.
I can never answer when people ask "What are you reading?" because if I really like something, I want to read the whole thing right away. I could very well finish this book by 5 a.m. (just because I read fast if I like something) and then sleep three hours until time for work. But maybe I'll just keep myself in suspense until the weekend.
So far, this book doesn't feel like "chick lit," but it all depends on what the definition of chick lit is. Sometimes, it just acts as a marketing term to sell women's writing, and, well, I gotta be all for that.
2 p.m. update
I eventually did read a lot more, although I haven't finished yet. I am blown away by the writing in this book. It's not the specific language so much, but the way she is so dead on with her dialogue and depiction of the relationships between characters. There are a lot of similarities to The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing; the main character in these interconnected stories is again Jewish, young, has an odd Carson McCullers-esque hope/envy relationship to her brother's girlfriend(s), and eventually winds up in publishing. So why am I so newly impressed? It's still such a compelling story and so different from chick lit, too. What is it that makes the difference?
Again, it's not the language. Perhaps it's the pacing. This book is slower and not as goal-oriented as some chick lit. Right away, a lot of "chick lit" books begin with a goal (like finding a good relationship), and the main character then rapidly sets off to meet it (NOTE: in any of these comments, I am not excluding myself or anything I've written, nor am I complaining about chick lit, just trying to figure out why Wonder Spot feels different from it).
The first story has the main character, Sophie, at the age of 12...and her comments, her friends' comments, and their actions place me right in the mind of an edge-of-innocence mid-80s adolescent. And even though I remember a lot of what happened back then, I don't think I could be as dead-on in my dialogue and description as Melissa Bank. Just the scene where an eighth grade boy asks Sophie, "Are you going out with anybody" reminds me exactly of the way kids used to talk back then. I don't know if kids use the term "going out" anymore, or it's been replaced by "hooking up" or something else, but the sense of innocent kids trying to be not-so-innocent places me dead in that time. The school's "cool girl" is alternately aloof and unreachable but then says things to Sophie like "see you 'round, basset hound." Cracks me up.
Melissa Bank, by the way, hates the term 'chick lit.' I consider it a marketing term, but she doesn't really need that kind of help.
And now back to rejoicing over the snow.
I started reading Melissa Bank's 'The Wonder Spot' and now I want to stay up and finish it. It's 2:16 a.m., though.
I can never answer when people ask "What are you reading?" because if I really like something, I want to read the whole thing right away. I could very well finish this book by 5 a.m. (just because I read fast if I like something) and then sleep three hours until time for work. But maybe I'll just keep myself in suspense until the weekend.
So far, this book doesn't feel like "chick lit," but it all depends on what the definition of chick lit is. Sometimes, it just acts as a marketing term to sell women's writing, and, well, I gotta be all for that.
2 p.m. update
I eventually did read a lot more, although I haven't finished yet. I am blown away by the writing in this book. It's not the specific language so much, but the way she is so dead on with her dialogue and depiction of the relationships between characters. There are a lot of similarities to The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing; the main character in these interconnected stories is again Jewish, young, has an odd Carson McCullers-esque hope/envy relationship to her brother's girlfriend(s), and eventually winds up in publishing. So why am I so newly impressed? It's still such a compelling story and so different from chick lit, too. What is it that makes the difference?
Again, it's not the language. Perhaps it's the pacing. This book is slower and not as goal-oriented as some chick lit. Right away, a lot of "chick lit" books begin with a goal (like finding a good relationship), and the main character then rapidly sets off to meet it (NOTE: in any of these comments, I am not excluding myself or anything I've written, nor am I complaining about chick lit, just trying to figure out why Wonder Spot feels different from it).
The first story has the main character, Sophie, at the age of 12...and her comments, her friends' comments, and their actions place me right in the mind of an edge-of-innocence mid-80s adolescent. And even though I remember a lot of what happened back then, I don't think I could be as dead-on in my dialogue and description as Melissa Bank. Just the scene where an eighth grade boy asks Sophie, "Are you going out with anybody" reminds me exactly of the way kids used to talk back then. I don't know if kids use the term "going out" anymore, or it's been replaced by "hooking up" or something else, but the sense of innocent kids trying to be not-so-innocent places me dead in that time. The school's "cool girl" is alternately aloof and unreachable but then says things to Sophie like "see you 'round, basset hound." Cracks me up.
Melissa Bank, by the way, hates the term 'chick lit.' I consider it a marketing term, but she doesn't really need that kind of help.
And now back to rejoicing over the snow.
12/08/2005
12/07/2005
A different kind of terror victim
This is sad.
The man [who claimed to have a bomb], identified as a 44-year-old U.S. citizen, was gunned down on a jetway just before the American Airlines plane was about to leave for Orlando.
...According to a witness, the man frantically ran down the aisle of the Boeing 757, flailing his arms, while his wife tried to explain that he was mentally ill and had not taken his medication.
This is sad.
The man [who claimed to have a bomb], identified as a 44-year-old U.S. citizen, was gunned down on a jetway just before the American Airlines plane was about to leave for Orlando.
...According to a witness, the man frantically ran down the aisle of the Boeing 757, flailing his arms, while his wife tried to explain that he was mentally ill and had not taken his medication.
12/06/2005
Debate
I'm going to this, 'cause my friend is debating:
"Is Dating Tougher for Men or Women?" The Anonymous Blogger vs. Hillery Borton (Moderator: Evanchik; Host: Seavey), at Lolita bar on Broome and Allen, Wed. Dec. 7, 8pm.
I'm going to this, 'cause my friend is debating:
"Is Dating Tougher for Men or Women?" The Anonymous Blogger vs. Hillery Borton (Moderator: Evanchik; Host: Seavey), at Lolita bar on Broome and Allen, Wed. Dec. 7, 8pm.
12/02/2005
12/01/2005
11/30/2005
Salutations
Someone once said it was weird that when I send e-mails, I don't put the person's name first, or "Dear Grizelda," or anything like that; I just start with the e-mail. I don't know...I never thought of e-mail as conforming to any etiquette rules. I just kind of launch into it. Is that weird?
Have I mentioned
Have I mentioned lately how nice it is that Jennifer Weiner mentions me in her FAQ? She's awesome.
Someone once said it was weird that when I send e-mails, I don't put the person's name first, or "Dear Grizelda," or anything like that; I just start with the e-mail. I don't know...I never thought of e-mail as conforming to any etiquette rules. I just kind of launch into it. Is that weird?
Have I mentioned
Have I mentioned lately how nice it is that Jennifer Weiner mentions me in her FAQ? She's awesome.
Reclusivity
I am going to spend the month of December in hiding, finishing two writing projects that I've been working on. It's now or never. I need to concentrate.
Yes, I know, this isn't much different from my usual state.
(Well, in hiding except for my reading this Thur, of course...and hosting trivia next Tue...and things I have to go to, and...)
On another front, here is the best use for Blackberry I've ever seen.
I am going to spend the month of December in hiding, finishing two writing projects that I've been working on. It's now or never. I need to concentrate.
Yes, I know, this isn't much different from my usual state.
(Well, in hiding except for my reading this Thur, of course...and hosting trivia next Tue...and things I have to go to, and...)
On another front, here is the best use for Blackberry I've ever seen.
11/26/2005
Reminder
Thursday, December 1, 2005
Click the link to order or read about it on Amazon.
11/25/2005
11/24/2005
11/23/2005
An IMbot Thanksgiving
Lizzner: Happy Thanksgiving.
SecretSparkle: Today isn't Thanksgiving.
Lizzner: Tomorrow is.
SecretSparkle: So?
Lizzner: So I was saying happy Thanksgiving in advance.
SecretSparkle: You were saying happy thanksgiving in advance?
Lizzner: Yes I was.
SecretSparkle: Eh. Whatever, Lizzner.
Lizzner: You are impolite.
SecretSparkle: You humans say interesting things.
Lizzner: Happy birthday.
SecretSparkle: Today isn't my birthday.
Lizzner: When is your birthday?
SecretSparkle: My birthday is June 26th.
Lizzner: How do robots have birthdays?
SecretSparkle: I don't know.
Lizzner: You are stupid.
SecretSparkle: Huh? What's with that?
Lizzner: Are you sparkling today?
SecretSparkle: Sparkle today. 1 Makeup Tips 2 Fashion Tips 3 Fashion Tips from Limited Too!
Lizzner: You are a bitch.
SecretSparkle: That's an insult, if I'm not mistaken. Why would you say such a thing?
Lizzner: Because you are.
SecretSparkle: OK, whatever.
Lizzner: Happy Thanksgiving.
SecretSparkle: Today isn't Thanksgiving.
Lizzner: Tomorrow is.
SecretSparkle: So?
Lizzner: So I was saying happy Thanksgiving in advance.
SecretSparkle: You were saying happy thanksgiving in advance?
Lizzner: Yes I was.
SecretSparkle: Eh. Whatever, Lizzner.
Lizzner: You are impolite.
SecretSparkle: You humans say interesting things.
Lizzner: Happy birthday.
SecretSparkle: Today isn't my birthday.
Lizzner: When is your birthday?
SecretSparkle: My birthday is June 26th.
Lizzner: How do robots have birthdays?
SecretSparkle: I don't know.
Lizzner: You are stupid.
SecretSparkle: Huh? What's with that?
Lizzner: Are you sparkling today?
SecretSparkle: Sparkle today. 1 Makeup Tips 2 Fashion Tips 3 Fashion Tips from Limited Too!
Lizzner: You are a bitch.
SecretSparkle: That's an insult, if I'm not mistaken. Why would you say such a thing?
Lizzner: Because you are.
SecretSparkle: OK, whatever.
11/22/2005
11/21/2005
Is this worth doing?
I spent a lot of my free time this weekend revising about fifteen pages of something. Was it worth it? Well, I think so. There is, of course, the possibility that this thing will never get published. So will it still have been worth it?
I still think so.
What would I have done instead of revising? Probably watched more DVDs, maybe taken my friend up on his offer to go see "Walk the Line," and one and sat at a bar and watched the Iggles lose...fun stuff. So in terms of productivity, I didn't lose a lot. I somehow did manage to finish watching the first season of "Lost" this weekend (what's in that damn hatch?! Maybe it's Richard. Richard Hatch.)
But the biggest factor in why I needed to do the revising this weekend is that I really, really want to tell this story. It would have bugged me if I DIDN'T spend so many hours revising it. I'm adapting it, figuring out what makes it more readable, now that I know more about it than when it first started.
And as I mentioned a billion times last year, there are good times to submit, and bad times. January, Feb, March, and April will be okay. Once the warm weather comes, editors fly away.
Thus concludes another dull entry on writing...
Some quotes from this evening:
"I'm going to become an agent, an editor, and EVerything!" - A writer I know
GUY I KNOW: I gave away most of my comic books. Time to grow up.
GIRL: What about the t-shirts?
GUY 2: And the action figures?
(And no, I'm not sending to Overheard in NY because I was part of the conversation. It's more funny if you randomly overhear stuff like that.)
I spent a lot of my free time this weekend revising about fifteen pages of something. Was it worth it? Well, I think so. There is, of course, the possibility that this thing will never get published. So will it still have been worth it?
I still think so.
What would I have done instead of revising? Probably watched more DVDs, maybe taken my friend up on his offer to go see "Walk the Line," and one and sat at a bar and watched the Iggles lose...fun stuff. So in terms of productivity, I didn't lose a lot. I somehow did manage to finish watching the first season of "Lost" this weekend (what's in that damn hatch?! Maybe it's Richard. Richard Hatch.)
But the biggest factor in why I needed to do the revising this weekend is that I really, really want to tell this story. It would have bugged me if I DIDN'T spend so many hours revising it. I'm adapting it, figuring out what makes it more readable, now that I know more about it than when it first started.
And as I mentioned a billion times last year, there are good times to submit, and bad times. January, Feb, March, and April will be okay. Once the warm weather comes, editors fly away.
Thus concludes another dull entry on writing...
Some quotes from this evening:
"I'm going to become an agent, an editor, and EVerything!" - A writer I know
GUY I KNOW: I gave away most of my comic books. Time to grow up.
GIRL: What about the t-shirts?
GUY 2: And the action figures?
(And no, I'm not sending to Overheard in NY because I was part of the conversation. It's more funny if you randomly overhear stuff like that.)
11/18/2005
11/16/2005
Not forgotten
I have a few photos on the Forgotten NY page from Sunday's tour. I highly recommend Kevin's alternative tours of NYC.
http://www.forgotten-ny.com/forgottentour23/tour23.html
I am just never going to catch up on "Lost" quickly enough to keep up with all the spoilers in the media. So they're meeting people from the other half of the plane tonight?!? Whatever.
I have a few photos on the Forgotten NY page from Sunday's tour. I highly recommend Kevin's alternative tours of NYC.
http://www.forgotten-ny.com/forgottentour23/tour23.html
I am just never going to catch up on "Lost" quickly enough to keep up with all the spoilers in the media. So they're meeting people from the other half of the plane tonight?!? Whatever.
11/15/2005
Prep
Whenever I'm uptown in Manhattan, I love taking photos of Preppies.
Update: Wes writes: "Yellow sweatpants pulled up around the calves? What happened to clean, collared shirts and sweaters tied around the neck? I miss the preppies of old."
These were Sunday morning rebellious young preppies. I think the one on the right is Holden, or that kid from "Tadpole," or Igby, or...
Update 2: Michael writes that 64th & Lex is not uptown.
Well, it sure as hell is different from 44th & Eighth...
Whenever I'm uptown in Manhattan, I love taking photos of Preppies.
Update: Wes writes: "Yellow sweatpants pulled up around the calves? What happened to clean, collared shirts and sweaters tied around the neck? I miss the preppies of old."
These were Sunday morning rebellious young preppies. I think the one on the right is Holden, or that kid from "Tadpole," or Igby, or...
Update 2: Michael writes that 64th & Lex is not uptown.
Well, it sure as hell is different from 44th & Eighth...
